Lysa M. TerKeurst - Capture his heart: becoming the Godly wife your husband desires

CAPTURE
His
HEART
Becoming the Godly Wife
Your Husband Desires

By Lysa TerKeurst

MOODY PRESS
CHICAGO

2002 by
LYSA TERKEURST

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form without permission in writing from the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles or reviews.

All Scripture quotations, unless otherwise indicated, are taken from the Holy Bible New International Version, NIV. Copyright 1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan Publishing House. All rights reserved.

Scripture quotations marked The Message are from The Message. Copyright by Eugene H. Peterson 1993, 1994, 1995. Used by permission of NavPress Publishing Group.

Scripture quotations marked TLB are from The Living Bible, copyright 1971. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, IL 60189. All rights reserved.

Editorial services by: Julie-Allyson Ieron, Joy Media

Book design by: Julia Ryan [DesignByJulia]

ISBN: 0-8024-4040-1
ISBN-13: 978-0-8024-4040-2

7 9 10 8 6

Printed in the United States of America

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS: To Greg, Elsa, Bill, and the rest of the Moody Press staff: Thank you for catching the vision of the project. To Julie, Mark, and the rest of the Focus on the Family Publishing team: Thank you for helping carry the vision to many. To Julie-Allyson Ieron: Once again I thank you for lending your editorial expertise. To Marie Ogram: You are the worlds greatest office manager and a wonderful friend. Thank you for all you did to make this project possible! To other staff members of Proverbs 31 Ministries-Sharon, Joel, Shelly, Sherry, Lisa, Glynnis, Carol, Linda, Miriam, Suzi, Falinda, Ann, and all the many volunteers: I couldnt do what I do without you. What a blessing to work with such first-class people. To Scott Gordon and team at Promise Keepers: Thank you for all your help surveying and compiling responses in preparation for this project. To the many couples who allowed me to peek inside your hearts and minds and benefit from the wonderful insights you provided, especially David and Becky, Steve and Sheila, Scott and Melanie, and Angee and Taz. To all the men and women who have their quotes published within these pages: Thank you and may God richly bless your marriage.

THE GAME PLAN

was weary from a long weekend of traveling and speaking. I was nearing the end of my trip and happy to reach my home airport. Only another hour and Id be home, but first I had to go through the dreaded shuttle bus fiasco. I dont understand why I have such bad luck making it back to my car when I return home from trips. I am what you might call directionally challenged. Either I cant find the right bus or I cant find my car after the right bus drops me off. Anyhow, this shuttle bus dilemma was the last thing standing in my way to my journey home.

I exited the airport and to my surprise, the shuttle bus for my parking lot was waiting outside. Usually I have to wait an unreasonable amount of time for the shuttle, but not tonight. I was thrilled. I hauled my luggage up the bus stairs and greeted the driver with a big smile.

You seem glad to see me, the driver said with a chuckle.

I am, I happily replied.

Yep, I sure do love my job, he said with a big grin and a southern twang. Where else could a sixty-year-old man work where women are tripping over themselves to have me pick them up?

I smiled politely and looked out the window.

He continued, Yeah, everyone is excited to see me pull up to the curb. Thats why I like my job so much. People get on the bus and smile so big. Theyve just been waiting for me, and when I finally arrive they are happy Im here. Ive often thought I wished I had a video camera to tape people as they get on my bus with their smiling faces and glad-to-see-ya comments. Id love for my wife to see a tape like that. Thats the way Ive always wanted her to look when I come home from work.

His story caught me by surprise. Something so simple would make such a huge impact on this mans marriage, and I bet his wife had no idea. I bet a lot of men have these simple desires, and I bet a lot of wives have no idea. I wondered what desires my husband had that Id missed out on fulfilling. As I got off the bus I smiled and thanked the driver. My appreciation was for more than the ride to my car; hed helped me find my waymy way on a journey to understanding the heart of my man.

After surveying hundreds of men, I found that there are eight basic concepts that the heart of your man wants you to know. They are:

1) Husbands need their wives to support them spiritually

2) Husbands need their wives to encourage them emotionally

3) Husbands need their wives to enjoy them sexually

4) Husbands need their wives to appreciate them vocationally

5) Husbands need their wives to engage them intellectually

6) Husbands need their wives to connect with them relationally

7) Husbands need their wives to affirm them physically

8) Husbands need their wives to stand by them permanently

Im far from being the perfect wife, and I dont have a simple step-by-step method for a fail-proof marriage. What I do offer is a glimpse inside the hearts and minds of men. I have learned so much from the honest responses of guys who long to have their wives understand and appreciate them for the masculine beings they are.

Most of all, Ive learned that a man desires his heart to be captured by his Beauty, his lover, his friend, his partner through thick and thin. He wants to think about the times she told him he has what it takes. He takes great pride in knowing he makes her feel safe. He reflects on whether or not she thinks hes a good provider. And he dreams of the time when she initiated a passionate encounter and longs for another like it.

Men are fascinating. God made them that way. But many women find them frustrating and hard to figure out. I encourage you to put your frustrations and disappointments aside and set out on a journey of understanding, acceptance, and love for the heart of your beloved husband.