Payne - The secret art of being a grown-up: tips, tricks, and perks no one thought to tell you

Text copyright 2017 by Bridget Watson Payne
Illustrations copyright 2017 by Chronicle Books LLC

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form without written permission from the publisher.

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data available.

ISBN 978-1-4521-5313-1 (hc)
ISBN 978-1-4521-6058-0 (epub, mobi)

Designed by Rachel Harrell
Illustrations by Rachel Harrell

Chronicle Books LLC
680 Second Street
San Francisco, California 94107
www.chroniclebooks.com

FOR MABEL, WHOS GOING TO NEED
THIS BOOK IN ABOUT TWENTY YEARS.

WELCOME TO THIS BOOK!

It doesnt matter if youve officially been an adult for five minutes or five years or twenty-five years. Its never too soon, and never too late, to claim the rights and privileges of being a grown-up. Whereas the world decides that you are an adult at 18 or 21 or whatever, grown-up-hood is not something conferred by outside powers, it is something you lay hold of for yourself. Because heres the secret:

Whereas being an adult is
a lot of hard work, being a
grown-up is fun.

We all intuited this when we were little kids, didnt we? We imagined that when we were grown-ups we would not be boring like our parents. No, once we were allowed to do whatever we wanted, we would take full advantage of that prerogative. We would eat all the candy. We would stay up late watching TV. We would let the dog sleep in the bed with us. And let our friends come over and stay for supper, not just once in a while but every gosh darn night!

And the thing is, we were right! Being a grown-up is the best. You really do get to eat what you want and do what you want and see your friends when you want. The only catch is that along with being a grown-up comes being an adult, and being an adult is not quite as fun. Because being an adult is basically about responsibilitygoing to work, paying the bills, etc.

So how do we reconcile the fun of grown-up-hood with the responsibilities of adulthood? Well, it turns out its not really such a dichotomy as at first it seems to be. There are lots of practical tips and tricks and best-practices and work-arounds that grown-ups know that make their adult responsibilities easier and more enjoyable, and that in turn free up more of their time and energy for fun grown-up things like coffee-and-donuts and sleepovers and new haircuts.

However, for some mysterious reason, the tricks for leveling-up your grown-up game are rarely articulated, rarely explained. Parents tend to forget to tell their kids about the tabs on the ends of the tinfoil box .

Which is where this book comes in. Domestic life, social life, taking care of yourself, taking care of your finances, navigating the great wide worldbeing a grown-up means engaging with these matters in ways that are both useful and enjoyable. Reaping the benefits of your age and wisdom. And having at least as good a time while doing so as you thought you would when you were seven.

BECAUSE OF THIS:

You can wear whatever the heck you want

You can walk into nice hotels to use the restroom

You can go where you want

And much much more! Read on...

BUT AN OMELET PAN MIGHT NOT BE A BAD IDEA...

To actually start cooking really good food that you and your friends will want to eat, you truly need very little equipment. Any kitchen tool that performs only one specific function is highly suspectthese false friends are easy to spot because they usually have the name of the one and only type of food they work on as part of their names. You dont want something that can only work on garlic or donuts or apples. You want something that can do a ton of different jobs in your kitchen.

One exception to this might be a small nonstick pan which is mostly for cooking eggs. But, come on, theyre eggs! Theyre so versatile. You can make about forty different egg dishes in your little pan.

THINGS THE KITCHEN STORE WANTS YOU TO OWN

• Garlic press
• Shrimp de-veiner
• Espresso maker
• Donut pan
• Toaster oven
• Steak knives
• Pancake flipper
• Apple slicer
• Cherry pitter
• Wonton mold
• Mellon baller
• Panini press
• Citrus zester
• Fish spatula

THE 10 THINGS YOU ACTUALLY NEED

• Small nonstick pan
• Larger not-nonstick pan
• Big pot (but not too big5 or 6 quarts should be fine)
• Wooden spoon
• Good chefs knife
• Colander
• Cutting board
• Spatula
• Measuring cups
• Measuring spoons

Put another way:

MAKE FRIENDS WITH IMPERFECTION BECAUSE ITS ALREADY MADE FRIENDS WITH YOU.

Or, put yet another way:

PERFECTIONISM IS POISON.

Or, put maybe the best way of all:

GOOD ENOUGH IS GOOD ENOUGH.

And the sooner you figure that out the happier you will be.