Matthew Del Negro - The 10,000 Nos: How to Overcome Rejection on the Way to Your YES

This book is a chance for people to benefit from the humanity and wisdom Matt Del Negro has acquired by grinding through his own 10,000 NOs for so long. His value far exceeds his art. His talent is only outweighed by his humility and ability to connect with others and make them feel better about their own journey.

Bedros Keuilian, CEO, FitBody Bootcamp, bestselling author, Man Up

Being told no can either define you or ignite you. Matt's powerful book gives you the courage and confidence to turn that devastating no into inspiration. Through his resilience, determination, and breathtaking honesty, Matt shows how to navigate the sting of rejection and convert it into the satisfaction of success! This book is a serious life changer!

Sue Hollis, Cofounder, The TravelEdge Group, Coach, Adventurepreneur, Top 10 Women Entrepreneurs in Australia, author of Riding Raw: A Journey from Empty to Full, motorbike racer

If you want a reality check, a connection to what it takes to get where you want to go in life advice about the reality of getting past 10,000 NOs to the one Yes you desire and will commit to, then make this your Life Bible. Absorb it. Listen to the words. Then go no further. Settle in. And make Matt's experience yours.

Roger Fishman, Adventure Photographer, author, What I Know, former Head of Marketing, CAA

MATTHEW DEL NEGRO

Copyright 2021 by John Wiley & Sons, Inc. All rights reserved.

Published by John Wiley & Sons, Inc., Hoboken, New Jersey.
Published simultaneously in Canada.

No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, scanning, or otherwise, except as permitted under Section 107 or 108 of the 1976 United States Copyright Act, without either the prior written permission of the Publisher, or authorization through payment of the appropriate per-copy fee to the Copyright Clearance Center, Inc., 222 Rosewood Drive, Danvers, MA 01923, (978) 750-8400, fax (978) 646-8600, or on the Web at www.copyright.com. Requests to the Publisher for permission should be addressed to the Permissions Department, John Wiley & Sons, Inc., 111 River Street, Hoboken, NJ 07030, (201) 748-6011, fax (201) 748-6008, or online at http://www.wiley.com/go/permissions.

Limit of Liability/Disclaimer of Warranty: While the publisher and author have used their best efforts in preparing this book, they make no representations or warranties with respect to the accuracy or completeness of the contents of this book and specifically disclaim any implied warranties of merchantability or fitness for a particular purpose. No warranty may be created or extended by sales representatives or written sales materials. The advice and strategies contained herein may not be suitable for your situation. You should consult with a professional where appropriate. Neither the publisher nor author shall be liable for any loss of profit or any other commercial damages, including but not limited to special, incidental, consequential, or other damages.

For general information on our other products and services or for technical support, please contact our Customer Care Department within the United States at (800) 762-2974, outside the United States at (317) 572-3993 or fax (317) 572-4002.

Wiley publishes in a variety of print and electronic formats and by print-on-demand. Some material included with standard print versions of this book may not be included in e-books or in print-on-demand. If this book refers to media such as a CD or DVD that is not included in the version you purchased, you may download this material at http://booksupport.wiley.com. For more information about Wiley products, visit www.wiley.com.

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data is Available:

ISBN 978-1-119-69182-2 (Hardcover)
ISBN 978-1-119-69177-8 (ePDF)
ISBN 978-1-119-69185-3 (ePub)

Cover Design: Wiley
Cover Image: Corey Nickols

Deirdre, for standing by when the nos felt heaviest

Donovan and Bronwyn, may you never let the critic count

Everyone else, for helping and encouraging me to keep going

I had coffee recently with a very successful documentary filmmaker friend. The feature documentary he made a few years ago won the Sundance Film Festival documentary competition and sold for a lot of money. The next one he made was also quite lucrative, which is no easy feat for a documentary film. His most recent film, however, did not immediately find worldwide distribution the way the others had, so he reached out to me to share the news and talk through his frustrated feelings on the matter. When I realized the intent of his coffee meeting request I said, Wow, I guess I really am a Rejection Expert, huh? He laughed before explaining that he hadn't called me because of my own punishing track record. It was just that his very supportive wife, who is not in our industry, did not have the comparable experience of seeing two years of work deflate in front of her eyes due to the changing tides of opinion. And his fellow documentary filmmaker friends were somewhat in competition with him, so they might not completely commiserate. It was at this point that I fully realized the need for this book.

This book will change you as much as you let it. It will not solve your life or tell you how to turn every no into a yes. But it will crack open more questions and deepen your quest for success if you allow it. It does not contain magic, just truth. It sheds light on many of the principles so many of us have pondered for years: perseverance, performance, work ethic, risk, belief, hope, faith. I focus the chapters in this book on these principles as well as on getting started, instinct, discipline and training, reframing, surrender, transformation, leadership, meditation and relaxation, the subconscious, being a good person, and facade versus reality. Some topics and chapters overlap as they are interrelated, and all present real-world perspectives. You can devour it in one sitting, as an actor's entertaining albeit sometimes cringe-worthy memoir, or jump around willy-nilly when inspiration and curiosity beckon you, using it more like a self-development manifesto. Either way, I hope that it will make you laugh, inspire you, and encourage you to take one more step toward whatever it is that brings fulfillment for you and makes your life feel well spent.

Author Malcolm Gladwell proposed that people only become experts in a field after they've dedicated themselves to it for 10,000 hours. I agree with him. But I've also pondered the ability and practice of withstanding the word no. What defines my career, or anyone's for that matter, is the way I have chosen to react to constant rejection, perceived failures, and lucky breaks that have fallen apart due to forces outside of my control. That type of reaction, both when it was admirable and when it was embarrassingly petty, is what most people would call attitude, outlook, or perspective. For all of us, our ability to persevere is derived from a combination of innate instincts embedded deep in our DNA and lessons from the major influences and influencers in our lives, including our parents, teachers, coaches, bosses, friends, siblings and so many others. It is our