Janet W. Hardy - The Sexually Dominant Woman

Copyright 2018 by Greenery Press, Inc.

All rights reserved. Except for brief passages quoted in newspaper, magazine, radio, television or Internet reviews, no part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any means, electronic or mehanical, including photocopying or recording or by information storage or retrieval system, without permission in writing from the Publisher.

Published in the United States by Greenery Press. Distributed by SCB Distributors, Gardena, CA.

Readers should be aware that the activities and behaviors described in this book carry an inherent risk of physical and/or emotional injury. While we believe that following the guidelines set forth in this book will minimize that potential, the writers and publisher encourage you to be aware that you are taking some risk when you decide to engage in these activities, and to accept personal responsibility for that risk. In acting on the information in this book, you agree to accept that information as is and with all faults. Neitehr the author, the publisher, nor anyone else associated with the creation and sale of this book is responsible for any damage sustained.

CONTENTS

FOREWORD, by Midori

Hello!

Im glad you found this book because you and your partner are about to explore new pleasures, and you deserve good friends to help you along the way. The woman who created this book, both in its original form and in this graphic version, is a kind, reliable and practical guide for your journey ahead.

Are you totally new to kinky sexy fun? If so, this book is written for you!

If you already know how to use the tools, have some toys, are familiar with the terminologies and even had some kink fun, then this book is not for you. For you, there are many excellent books in the Greenery Press catalog as well as other resources. (Hey, check out my books while youre at it!)

I wish I could sit down for tea with you and ask you what brought you here. Have you been curious about kink for a long time, or is this a newly sparked curiosity? Were you drawn in through a story or a video? Did a lover whisper secret desires to you? Was it something a friend commented or posted? We all come to these explorations from different places.

Over a cup of oolong, I would find out what you hope to experience. Do you want to enjoy a bit of naughtiness? Are you hoping to ignite new levels of passions and pleasures? Would you like to just feel less lost and baffled? Seeking ways to make your partners fantasies a reality? Each woman and each lover comes with different hopes and wants.

Sitting with you, Id ask you about what youre apprehensive about. What are your concerns? What scares you? Are you feeling overwhelmed by all the information thats online and elsewhere? I know its super overwhelming. The other worries you have, what are they? All good people start with various trepidations and concerns.

Since we arent able to sit down together today, this lovely little book will help you out, just like a sweet chat wed have.

When I was first exploring doing kinky things with and to my lover, we only had the most vague ideas. It was a bit of tying each other up and shagging. I remember one romantic getaway where we used terry cloth belts from the hotel bathrobes. At other times, a bit of rough sex got more bitey and scratchy than usual. It felt exhilarating, but we didnt have the words to describe the thrill and sense of danger.

I remember visiting a former silver mining town in New Mexico with a lover. The wild-west history and lore fascinated me. With a few bits of fancy lingerie and feather or two in my hair, I pretended to be a bawdy saloon madam with a gentleman caller. I didnt come anything close to being dressed like a 19th century business-owning Western woman, but we didnt care - soon the lacy bits were strewn around the room anyway. I may have used the feather some way. I dont remember - its all a blur now.

I think I was much less inhibited when I didnt know anything. Once I figured out that there are specialized tools for this sort of sex games, and had a sliver of a clue that there are right ways and wrong ways to use the tools and make these games, I hesitated. I questioned. I doubted. I got baffled.

There was that one evening when I was using a flogger on my lover. (Youll find out about impact play and floggers later in this book.) They moaned. They swayed. They gasped. They thrust their cute butt out to me. All these were good for me and I understood they were having a good time. I felt like an erotic badass. Then a weird thing happened. They started to laugh. First, a chuckle. Then it grew into a full-bore rolling laugh. What was going on? Were they laughing at me? Did they think this was all stupid? My confidence was deeply shaken, just when I thought I was doing so well in pleasing both my sweetie and me. Upset, I reached out to a more experienced friend. She comforted me and then shed light on the situation.

Honey, theyre not laughing at you. Theyre just really high from all the good sensations. Sometimes people just do that, when theyre overcharged with pleasure. You did good!

If she hadnt helped me through that experience, and put things into context, I might have been plagued with doubt and lack of confidence for a long time. Thats not a feel-good way to carry on.

We all can benefit from good practical advice and perspective based on real life experiences.

I know youll come across a lot of information and images online. Today is indeed the golden age of kink information. The problem is that theres simply too much information and you have sort through a deluge of material. Sadly a lot of what passes for information is untested, fantasy-based, inaccurate, or just made up. So please take things with a grain of salt. If something sounds too slick, too perfect, too... too anything.... it might be more imagined than instructional. I think fantasy and kinky fiction is great but its not educational. Its like trying to learn how to drive from a car chase movie.

Enjoy the fantasy! Its even more fun when you enjoy it with your partners. Talk about it and fantasize about it with your sweeties. Find out what about the fantasy you like, and let your self get inspired. You can have a sexy chat or sext about the fantasy and see how you can make some realizable part of it an addition to your sex life.

Some people use the term BDSM for kink. Most people define that by simply expanding the acronym.

B = Bondage

D = Discipline or Dominance

S = Sadistic desires or desire for Submission

M = Masochistic wants or appetite for Mastery

But I actually dont find this definition all that useful to start with. (Yes, there will be more discussion and practical explanation of these words in the chapters to follow!)

So heres your Auntie Midoris definition of BDSM or kink sex:

Its about joyous childhood play, with adult sexual privilege and cool toys.

Or, to put it another way: playing cops-and-robbers with shagging!

Thats why we call it play.

To paraphrase the great Auntie Mame: Life is a playground, darling, and most poor folks are bored to death. So get playing!

Affectionately yours,

Midori

Founder, ForteFemme Womens Intensive

PREFACE, by Janet W. Hardy

Between 1992, when I first wrote this book, and today, there have been uncountable changes in kink and BDSM practice, as erotic adventurers discover new ways to make each other happy. However, the basics remain the same and always will: take care of yourself and each other, and have fun together.

If you share this book with someone who has been playing for a number of years, they may tell you that my advice is very conservative. Theyre right. Because I want this book to be short, fun and easy to learn from, Im not going to discuss all the risks and decisions that are available within the confines of safety and consent. For now, I strongly recommend that beginners stick within the guidelines Ive given you here. As you get more experience and develop your knowledge and skills, you