Marc Chernoff - 1000+ Little Habits of Happy, Successful Relationships

WE ARE ALL in this togetherthis wild world we live inso always be kinder than necessary. What goes around comes around. No one has ever made themselves strong by showing how small someone else is. Everyone you know, love, or meet is learning something, is afraid of something, cares deeply about something, and has lost something. You know this. So keep doing your best to be extra kind today.

Be compassionate in whatever way you can. Be a beacon of hope to people you pass on the street. Embody what you know in your heart is right. And keep in mind that many of the kindest gestures youll ever make, and the most important things youll ever do, wont come easy and will never be seen publicly. But they are worth doing anyway.

Let this book be your guideyour source of daily inspirationto stay on track in your relationships and interactions with others. Digest one page at a time with your morning coffee or your evening tea. And we promise that you wont just grow in knowledge; youll be a person who gives back too. This book will inspire you to use what youre learning, and what you know, to make a difference. To be a blessing. To be a friend. To encourage someone. To take time to care. To let your words heal and not wound.

You have the power to improve someone elses day, perhaps even their whole life, simply by giving them your sincere presence, compassion, and kindness today. And by doing so, you have the power to transform your life too. What would it be like to open up your heart instead of closing it? What would it be like to notice your inner narratives and move through them into growth, into peace of mind and real connection? Thats precisely the direction were heading in. Were going to explore how the time you invest in creating both healthy relationships and healthy mindsets about your relationships can affect almost everything else you do in life. Its how you can truly make a difference in this world.

But before we begin, lets get one timeless lesson crystal clear: Happiness and success in life dont start solely with your relationships. They start with your thinking and what you tell yourself today.

In other words, the real journey of nurturing healthy relationships starts with mindful inner calmness.

ON A CHILLY evening twenty years ago, after spending nearly every waking minute with Angel for eight straight days, I knew I had to tell her just one thing. So late at night, just before she fell asleep, I whispered it in her ear. She smiledthe kind of smile that makes me smile back. And she said, When Im seventy-five, and I think about my life and what it was like to be young, I hope I can remember this very moment.

A few seconds later, she closed her eyes and fell asleep. The room was peacefulalmost silent. All I could hear was the soft purr of her breathing. I stayed awake thinking about the time wed spent together and all the choices in our lives that made this moment possible. And at some point, I realized it didnt matter what we had done or where we had gone. Nor did the future hold any significance.

All that mattered was the serenity of the moment.

Just being with her, and breathing with her.

WHY DID I just share that personal story with you?

Because doing so helps remind me.

And I know you need a reminder sometimes too.

Sometimes we all need to be reminded of the beauty and sweetness of truly absorbing ourselves into the present momentinto the people, the dialogues, and the priceless little gifts that exist there.

We need to be reminded what its like to be truly present, and accepting, and at peace.

Because too often, amid the drama and chaos of life, we forget.

We forget to simply be and breathe with those around us.

We forget to appreciate the beauty they possess, despite their flaws.

The most fundamental aggression to ourselves and othersthe most fundamental harm we can do to human nature as a whole on a daily basisis to remain ignorant by not having the awareness or courage to look at ourselves and others honestly and gently.

All day, every day, many of us get annoyed with people and their situations when they fail to live up to our expectations, as if their reality isnt enough for us and never will be. We reject these people, as their problems somehow seem different from our own. We feel like we need something better, something more from themand we scream inside!

We let our emotions and anxieties get the best of us. And we blind ourselves to the truth.

The truth is, when someone upsets us, this is often because they arent behaving according to our fantasy of how they should behave. The frustration, then, stems not from their behavior but from how their behavior differs from our fantasy. Let this sink in. And lets not get carried away going forward.

Calmness is a human superpower!

Regardless of the situation, the ultimate measure of our wisdom and strength is how calm we are when facing the situation. The ability to not overreact or take things personally keeps our mind clear and our heart at peace, which instantly gives us the upper hand against the stress, fear, and confusion of the moment.