Kate Thieda - Loving Someone with Anxiety: Understanding and Helping Your Partner

Loving someone with anxiety can be both tiring and frustrating. It may seem as though no matter what you do or say, its never enough to help your partner relax and feel safe. You may find yourself living a lifestyle that you never intended because youre accommodating your partners anxiety. Whether your partner has the kind of everyday anxiety that all humans experience or struggles with a diagnosable anxiety disorder, this book can help.

Do any of the following situations sound familiar?

• Do you constantly reassure your partner that the worst-case scenario is not actually going to happen?
• Do you participate in rituals with your partner that seem strange or unnecessary, such as washing your hands a certain number of times a day, arranging items in the pantry or closet just so, counting objects or steps, or checking the door locks and windows numerous times before leaving the house or going to bed?
• Do you take on responsibilities that your partner once handled because shes unable to leave the house or afraid something will happen if she does?
• Do you check areas where your partner will be ahead of time for feared objects, such as snakes or insects?
• Are your activities with your partner limited by a need to avoid elevators, heights, air travel, and so on, because of your partners fear?
• Do you feel helpless when your partner has a panic attack?
• Do you call your partners supervisor to make excuses about why he isnt at work when the real reason is that hes too anxious to go?
• Do you walk on eggshells so as not to trigger anxiety in your partner?
• Do you avoid intimacy because your partner has insecurities about her body?
• Do you wonder if your relationship can survive your partners anxiety?

If you said yes to any of these questions, you are not alone. Anxiety is one of the most prevalent mental disorders in the United States. An estimated 18.1 percent of American adults experience the effects of anxiety disorders each year (Kessler et al. 2005). Based on the current population of the United States, thats about forty-three million people. Even more people have anxiety that doesnt meet the criteria for an official diagnosis but impacts their lives nevertheless. When you add in partners, family members, and friends whose lives are touched by the anxiety of those they love, the number of people whose quality of life is impaired by anxiety skyrockets. In addition, not everyone seeks professional treatment for anxiety, which can cause needless suffering for both them and their loved ones.

This book is filled with practical explanations, examples, exercises, and advice that will allow you to help your partner with his anxiety and keep your relationship and your own sanity intact in the process. The emphasis is on working together as a couple to resolve issues in your relationship that may be fueling anxiety. However, I also recommend that you seek help from a trained mental health professional, as specialized treatment can be crucial for recovery, especially with certain anxiety disorders. In addition, anxiety often co-occurs with other mental health issues, including depression, substance abuse, and eating disorders, making professional treatment all the more important. Your support is an essential part of your partners recovery from anxiety, and your knowledge and understanding of whats happening for your partner may make recovery easier.