Carolyn Daitch - Anxious in Love: How to Manage Your Anxiety, Reduce Conflict, and Reconnect with Your Partner

Carolyn Daitch, PhD, is a licensed psychologist and certified Imago relationship therapist. She is the author of Affect Regulation Toolbox and Anxiety Disorders: The Go-to Guide for Clients and Therapists. She is also a contributing author in Clinical Pearls of Wisdom: 21 Leading Therapists Offer Their Key Insights and Ten Commandments for Couples. She specializes in treating anxiety disorders; trains health professionals internationally on hypnosis, anxiety disorders, affect regulation, and relationship therapy; and is the director of the Center for the Treatment of Anxiety Disorders in Farmington Hills, MI. Dr. Daitch lives in West Bloomfield, MI.

Lissah Lorberbaum, MA, holds a masters degree in clinical psychology with a specialization in somatic psychology and treats affect dysregulation across a wide range of clientele. She lives and works in Los Angeles, CA.

Anxiety is, without doubt, the greatest enemy faced by couples, and its regulation is the most challenging and important achievement in marital happiness. The authors describe this crucial dilemma with deep and profound clarity and its resolution in clear instructions and exercises. Every couple who follows this path will end up in the kingdom of marital bliss. As the authors say, practice leads to permanence. I recommend this book not only to all couples, but also to all couples therapists. It will make their work with couples less anxious!

Harville Hendrix, PhD, author of Getting the Love You Want and coauthor of Receiving Love with Helen LaKelly Hunt, PhD

Anxious in Love brings help for anxiety disorders into new territory, revealing how it can affect both partners in a relationship and endanger the well-being of their connection. In a compassionate, step-by-step strategy, the anxiety disorder is first managed, and then mastered using both behavioral and psychological tools. Ultimately these practices are woven into an effective program for couples to useone that empowers both partners to calm the inner and outer effects of anxiety on their relationship and maintain a quality connection. Anxious in Love is an invaluable resource and guide for anyone suffering from an anxiety disorder or anyone in a relationship with someone who suffers from anxiety.

Eleanor Payson, LMSW, author of The Wizard of Oz and Other Narcissists

Anxiety, phobias, compulsions, and social avoidance can erode and even destroy relationships. Anxious in Love gives you the tools to decrease, manage, and even eliminate your excessive anxiety (or to understand your anxious partner). After reading the simple but powerful methods in the book, I am confident youll be anxious to try them and will feel better right away.

Bill OHanlon, author of The Change Your Life Book and Rewriting Love Stories

Above all, therapists should not overlook the great advantage of prescribing Anxious in Love as a workbook for patients to use in tandem with ongoing psychotherapy. Its use will help patients get more out of their therapy by promoting self-awareness and self-reliance, as well as expanding self-care for stabilization, boundary development, and affect management.

Claire Frederick, MD, coauthor of Inner Strengths and Healing the Divided Self

This book is written primarily for people suffering from anxiety, but also for their partners . There is a wide range of specific exercises for readers to try, so they can find what works best to reduce the overall anxiety level, recognize emotional and physical triggering experiences so the anxious reaction can be prevented, and perhaps most importantly, to learn to be calm, not merely avoiding the anxiety . The authors bring multiple human examples from their decades of clinical experience, simple assessments, and many practical exercises. They create a light and reassuring mood with a genuine concern to assist healing . Anyone suffering from the potentially crippling fallout from any of the potentially crippling experiences of anxiety is likely to have significant benefit from actively engaging with this book.

Robert B. McNeilly, MBBS, CET, director of the Milton H. Erickson Institute of Tasmania

Publishers Note

This publication is designed to provide accurate and authoritative information in regard to the subject matter covered. It is sold with the understanding that the publisher is not engaged in rendering psychological, financial, legal, or other professional services. If expert assistance or counseling is needed, the services of a competent professional should be sought.

Distributed in Canada by Raincoast Books

Copyright 2012 by Carolyn Daitch and Lissah Lorberbaum

New Harbinger Publications, Inc.

5674 Shattuck Avenue

Oakland, CA 94609

www.newharbinger.com

Cover design by Amy Shoup; Text design by Michele Waters-Kermes;

Acquired by Tesilya Hanauer; Edited by Nelda Street

All Rights Reserved

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Daitch, Carolyn.

Anxious in love : how to manage your anxiety, reduce conflict, and reconnect with your partner / Carolyn Daitch and Lissah Lorberbaum.

p. cm.

Includes bibliographical references.

ISBN 978-1-60882-231-7 (pbk. : alk. paper) -- ISBN 978-1-60882-232-4 (pdf e-book) -- ISBN 978-1-60882-233-1 (epub)

1. Anxiety. 2. Interpersonal relations. 3. Couples--Psychology. I. Lorberbaum, Lissah. II. Title.

BF575.A6D32 2012

152.46--dc23

2012024165