R. DON STEELE - Body Language Secrets: A Guide During Courtship and Dating

Second Edition

Updated for 21 st Century

ISBN:

Copyright 2020 Syndee Ann White

All rights reserved, Steel Balls Press

Contact: R. Don Steele, steelballspress.com

TABLE OF CONTENTS

Is He Lying?

Body Language Epiphanies

Why Body Language Is Real

Whats Its All About

You Cannot Not Communicate

Lines, Lies or the Truth

Interested or Just Being Polite

What Is Courtship?

11 Commandments of Courtship

10 Commandments of Meeting

Conversations without Words

Further Conversations without Words

You Are Coming on Too Strong

On Shaking Hands

Meeting Miss or Mister Right

Reluctance, Resistance and Tests

Courtship Tactics for Women

Courtship Tactics for Men

Dont Act Superior

What to Talk About

Dating

On Not Being Too Nice

Jane on Nice Guys and Dating

Helpful Hints

Body Language Elaboration

Look Successful

Overall Advice

The Lists

Summary

APPENDIX

PREFACE

Manuscript reviewers who were politically correct, gender-neutralists, protested the book is written as though it is natural, as well as necessary, for the male to be the initial aggressor during courtship.

My approach to explaining courtship does not mean that assertive, 21 st Century women must stand and wait.

Several female reviewers complained that it was slanted toward helping men.

Im a man, I see the world and often explain things from a mans viewpoint. No favoritism is intended.

Some English majors objected to awkward wording such as... he, or she , is lying... as well the grammatically incorrect but politically correct use of they or their when the subject is singular as in Everyone wants to have their [his] cake and eat it too.

Please try to overlook such PC shortcomings.

A few 50ish reviewers accused me of being an ageist. I assured them, as I assure you, that although I use younger people in many of the explanations and examples of courtship rituals, everything applies to people of all ages.

Finally, several reviewers, fans from previous books, protested that the overall tone is too serious. They are familiar with my style of using personal success and failure stories to enlighten while entertaining. If my final result is still too serious, I mildly apologize. I do what I think is the best way to inform the most people.

Our culture, Western Civilization, has come up with hundreds of things, literally, that males and females must do during courtship. It is prescribed but unwritten when these things must be done, and how they must be done.

Over the last 60 million years, during the rise of mammals, the natural world created us all, evolved us all and armed us all with behaviors, drives and hungers for a single purposesurvival. Why? So we live long enough to send our DNA into the future. Thats the only purpose of life and what courtship is really all about.

That fact underlies much of what I have written here and in all my books. As with everything you read, keep the parts you can use and discard the rest.

My firm conviction is people everywhere are fundamentally the same. Thats behind everything I have written. Archeological and anthropological evidence we, the people who live at the dawn of the 21st Century, are essentially the same as the people who lived 250,000 years ago is the foundation of this book.

One feminist strongly objected to the entire manuscript. Women should simply walk right up to men they find attractive. I asked if she read what female anthropologists had to say on that topic. Her reply, I dont agree with them, either!

One last thing. A few reviewers were put off by my casual writing style and refusal to use 50-cent words. Their comment, Sure, its easy to read and understand, but its not professional, people wont take it seriously. I cited Robert Heinleins reply to similar criticism, Eschew obfuscation . A couple of them got it.

Enjoy! May your courtships be easier and bountiful.

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

A deeply felt thanks to Nathaniel Branden. You saved my life in 1972. By 1975, with your guidance and insistence, I had learned the fundamentals of how to live, truly live, that life of mine you saved. Without you, none of this, or any of my fully, alive, joyous journey of discovery through life would be possible.

Further thanks to all acquaintances, colleagues and friends who gave me what a writer needs most, negative, constructive feedback. After working on it for five years I could not see the forest for the trees.

Finally, mega thanks to the nameless Disco Dick at Bobby McGees, Fullerton, California for erasing any doubt about the validity of body language. That story is in here.

The world owes Darwin the most thanks and acknowledgement. Let it begin with me. Thank you Charles Darwin for having the courage to tell the world the truth, we too are animals.

But we are not here concerned with hopes or fears,

only with the truth as far as our reason

allows us to discover it.

We must, however, acknowledge, as it seems to me,

that man, with all his noble qualities,

with sympathy which feels for the most debased,

with benevolence which extends not only to

other men but to the humblest living

creatures, with his God-like intellect

which has penetrated into the movements and

constitution of the solar system,

with all these exalted powers,

man still bears within his bodily frame the

indelible stamp of his lowly origins.

The Descent of Man,

and Selection in Relation to Sex

Is He Lying?

Most people doubt body language. The most common question Radio Hosts and TV Hosts asked me was CAN YOU FAKE BODY LANGUAGE? First few times I was in disbelief but when nearly all of them wanted to know I realized, John Q. Public doubts body language.

My reply: Ever seen Hannibal the Cannibal interviewed? Anthony Hopkins is a quiet, proper and quite nice British gentleman. But he scared me with just Good morning Clarise, in his first scene. Actors of all kinds fake body language to convince you of something, used car salesmen, preachers, politicians.

I published Body Language Secrets (BLS) in 1996, the first non-academic explanation beyond Julius Fasts embarrassing book. I was on a few radio shows and a TV show and soon everybody was buying it. Some experts emailed me with the latest info on how and DARPA or the CIA using secret software or some clandestine technique could tell if someone was lying. I investigated. They cant with practiced liars like politicians and career criminals, no chance.

A deeper dive revealed that even trained FBI experts are only 60 percent accurate! Ordinary cops at 52 percent are slightly better than trained interrogators who were at 50 percent a coin flip like most people. The FBI conducted its own study and found one group is 98% accurate in detecting liesconvicts serving life sentences who survived 20 years in prison.

But they cant teach anyone because they cant explain how they know. They say it feels like he is lying or not and are right every time.