Ann Silvers - Abuse OF Men BY Women: It Happens, It Hurts, and Its Time to Get Real About It

Copyright 2014 by Ann Silvers

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form without written permission from the author, except for the inclusion of brief quotations in a review.

While every attempt has been made to ensure that the information provided is accurate and informative, the author and publisher are not responsible for any errors or omissions, or for the results obtained from the use of this information. The information provided should not be used as a substitute for consultation with a qualified professional. The author and publisher specifically disclaim any responsibility for any liability, loss, or risk, personal or otherwise, which is incurred as a consequence, directly or indirectly, of the use and application of any of the contents herein.

At the time of publication, all contact information listed for citations and resources was verified as accurate.

ISBN: 9780983433880

978-0-9834338-7-3 (print)

978-0-9834338-8-0 (electronic)

Published by Silvers Publishing, LLC

Gig Harbor, Washington, USA

www.silverspublishing.com

CAUTION: If you are in a relationship with an abusive partner, be cautious about leaving evidence of partner abuse research . For information about deleting web history take a look at wikihow.com/Delete-Web-History .

Ann Silvers book, Abuse OF Men BY Women, addresses a much-neglected social problem. The book accurately reflects the latest social science research yet it is highly readable, the writing clear and lively.

Ann has done an outstanding job identifying the tactics used by abusive and controlling women, and how men find themselves entrapped in these relationships. She also offers practical solutions for women who are abusing, men who are abused, and their families. Great book! Well done!

John Hamel, LCSW, Author, Gender-Inclusive Treatment of Intimate Partner Abuse, 2nd Edition: Evidence-based Approaches, and Editor-in-Chief, Partner Abuse.

What do abused men who have read the book have to say about it? Wow!

All I can say is Wow! I wish I had read this 20 years ago. This would have saved me hundreds of thousands of dollars and years of my life. This is something that my 18-year-old son will have to read. This is a gift to every son out there. Thank you for the work you are doing. Men of all ages need to read this. I think the issue is much bigger than anyone even realizes.

WOW! A great achievement here. The glass ceiling of prejudicial thinking may very well be broken with the publication of this very informative book. I see a piece of my lifes experience on almost every page.

Wow! It is a wonderful book and brilliantly insightful! I couldnt put it down. It draws upon personal experience and extensive research which brings about the urgency to explore the abuse of men by women. It is a powerful recommendation to counselors, social workers, lawyers, teachers, pastors, and all who are in a position to assist men and women dealing with this issue.

This synthesis of the latest research in abuse of men by women is a major breakthrough, showing what is happening, giving clarity, offering a new awareness of an issue that is commonly ignored and disregarded: the abuse of men by women. It has the potential of becoming the instrument for measuring and defining partner abuse. Ann also offers solutions to relieve the suffering and devastation it causes.

Its as if Ann had known me and my ex all our lives and was writing the book from an invisible observation point in the house. I recognized myself and others in the examples. I saw my paternal grandpa, my father-in-law, and many close friends. Anns book will provide understanding, initiate healing, and give hope to many men out there. I wish Id had a copy of the book when I first started dating and especially, before I divorced.

The subject matter is rare, shocking, simply put and yet so refreshing. The book brings to the light of day an old problem that dates back centuries and that went unnoticed all this time.

This book is dedicated to the man who looked at me with tears in his eyes and said, You have to write the book, and all the other men and women who wanted their stories included in the hopes that individuals dealing with abuse of men by women in isolation may be helped and a light may be shone on the subject.

This book is focused on partner abuse OF men BY women.

OF and BY are capitalized because when I first talked about the topic of women abusing men, abuse of men was often mistakenly heard as abusive men. I realized that we are so conditioned to automatically think of men as abusers that I needed emphasis on the of and by in order to get people to slow down and grasp that I was talking about men being the target of the abuse, and women the source of the abuse, not the other way around.

A few of the abuse stories used in this book are taken out of the headlines, but for the most part, the stories are those of men I have met or talked to personally, or of abused mens partners, family members, or friends I have met or talked to personally.

I include identifying details and real names in the stories that have been previously outed by newspapers and other public sources. While I alter the others to protect identities, the stories are not exaggerated or intentionally distorted. Quotes from abused men and their family members, and women who abused a man, appear without names. (I forgo the made-up names often used in other self-help books.)

Abuse of men by women is an everyday occurrence. The examples are all around us. If we arent seeing them, we arent looking for them.

(Note: A summary of this book can be found in the full-color booklet a quick look at Abuse OF men BY women .)

I understand partner abuse because Ive witnessed it, studied it, and lived it.

I have a legacy of abuse on both sides of my family tree. On my moms branch were three brothers, including my grandfather, who married three sisters. All three men were tyrants, abusing their children and wives. My fathers family was the flip side of the same story. My paternal grandmother, Lavina, was an abusive mother and wife who outlived her quiet-spoken, beaten-down husband.

I know what it is like to be the target of abuse from a partner. I experienced financial, psychological, and emotional abuse by a boyfriend. It took me a long time to figure out what was going on. He was determined to destroy me. I became determined to not let that happen.

There are people who object to the subject of women abusing men being acknowledged because they worry that it somehow undermines womens rights. Let me assure you, I am not anti-female or anti-womens rights. I came of age with, and participated in, the womens movement. Long before I became interested in the topic of abuse of men by women, I spent a lot of time and energy studying partner abuse in relationships where women are the targets.

When I went back to school in my thirties to become a counselor, my college degrees included a Minor in Womens Studies. I have participated in many events promoting the advancement of women, including the United Nations Conference on Women in Beijing in 1995.