Jill Cory - When Love Hurts: A Womans Guide to Understanding Abuse in Relationships
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- Book:When Love Hurts: A Womans Guide to Understanding Abuse in Relationships
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WHEN LOVE HURTS
Every woman who is struggling to understand the mistreatment she is experiencing in her relationship should begin by reading the wonderful book When Love Hurts. In these pages she will find the strength, validation, and insight she needs to reclaim her life and return it to its rightful ownerher.
Lundy Bancroft, author of Why Does He Do That?
This is an excellent resource, not only for women to use on their own, but also for counselors and advocates.
Dr. Mary Russell, Professor of Social Work, University of British Columbia
I give a copy of When Love Hurts to every one of my clients. They all find it profoundly helpful. The book rings true. The authors show a deep and comprehensive understanding of what it is to live with abuse. Women say to me, This is my story! Only the names are different. How did they know?!
Daphne Wilson, Woman Abuse Support Worker, Powell River, British Columbia
When Love Hurts is a great resource for any woman who is tired of taking the blame for a painful relationship. If you wonder why the man you love is hurting youand what you can do about itthis book will give you all kinds of useful information and strategies for changing your life. Just as importantly, it makes it clear that you are not responsible for his abusive behavior.
Jackson Katz, author of The Macho Paradox: Why Some Men Hurt Women and How All Men Can Help
NEW AMERICAN LIBRARY
Published by Berkley
An imprint of Penguin Random House LLC
375 Hudson Street, New York, New York 10014
Copyright 2000, 2008, 2016 by Jill Cory and Karen McAndless-Davis
Penguin Random House supports copyright. Copyright fuels creativity, encourages diverse voices, promotes free speech, and creates a vibrant culture. Thank you for buying an authorized edition of this book and for complying with copyright laws by not reproducing, scanning, or distributing any part of it in any form without permission. You are supporting writers and allowing Penguin Random House to continue to publish books for every reader.
New American Library and the NAL colophon are registered trademarks of Penguin Random House LLC.
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Names: Cory, Jill, author. / McAndless-Davis, Karen, author.
Title: When love hurts : a womans guide to understanding abuse in
relationships / Jill Cory and Karen McAndless-Davis ; foreword by Lundy
Bancroft.
Description: New York : NAL, 2016.
Identifiers: LCCN 2016014526 (print) | LCCN 2016017565 (ebook) | ISBN
9780425274286 (paperback) | ISBN 9780698155305 (ebook)
Subjects: LCSH: Love. | Interpersonal relations. | Spousal abuse. | BISAC:
FAMILY & RELATIONSHIPS / Abuse / General. | FAMILY & RELATIONSHIPS / Abuse /
Domestic Partner Abuse. | FAMILY & RELATIONSHIPS / Love & Romance.
Classification: LCC BF575.L8 C667 2016 (print) | LCC BF575.L8 (ebook) | DDC
362.82/92019dc23
LC record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2016014526
WomanKind Press edition / September 2000
WomanKind Press revised edition / February 2008
New American Library trade paperback edition / October 2016
Cover art by Shutterstock
Cover design by Rita Frangie
Most New American Library books are available at special quantity discounts for bulk purchases for sales, promotions, premiums, fund-raising, or educational use. Special books, or book excerpts, can also be created to fit specific needs. For details, write: specialmarkets@penguinrandomhouse.com.
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Jill Cory and Karen McAndless-Davis are friends and colleagues who share a deep compassion and respect for women who have experienced abuse. Together, they bring over four decades of experience to their work.
While Jill was in graduate school at the University of Calgary, she began working at a womens shelter. She was so moved by the strength of the women as they struggled to make sense of their partners abusive behavior that she dedicated her career to supporting women with experiences of abuse. She moved to Vancouver in 1987 to pursue research at the University of British Columbia, exploring the barriers and challenges that women face when leaving abusive relationships. For the next seven years she developed and facilitated group counseling programs for women, and was part of a team that provided groups for abusive men. Jill has worked at BC Womens Hospital & Health Centre for eighteen years, traveling extensively to deliver violence-informed, women-centered workshops and seminars to improve health care and community services for women experiencing abuse. Jill lives with David, her partner of thirty-one years, and they have two adult children, Becky and Ben.
Karens passion for this issue comes from personal experience. Her partner, Bruce, was abusive at the beginning of their marriage. After several years of hard work, Bruce changed his abusive behavior and the beliefs underlying his actions. Karen and Bruce have now been happily married in a relationship of trust and respect for over twenty-five years. Karen found being in a support group for women who have experienced abuse life changing. As things improved in her own life, she felt compelled to find ways to share what she learned with other women. For more than eighteen years now, she has provided individual and group counseling to women in various communities and has consulted with many communities to establish support groups for women. She also travels widely to provide training on the women-centered approach presented in When Love Hurts. Karen and Bruce have two children, Luke and Isaac.
We thank all the women whom we have been privileged to know, support, and learn from. Your desire for a safer future has taught us about the strength of the human spirit and our infinite capacity to care for each other. We would like to express our deep gratitude to you. Your wisdom and courage have inspired us to tell your stories.
We also want to thank the women who contributed to this book by giving us their invaluable insights and suggestions. Your comments and encouragement motivated and guided us.
Since the conception of this book, Bruce McAndless-Davis has been an amazing supporter. The first edition of this book would not have become a reality without his constant encouragement and hundreds of hours of work. He has worn many hats through our adventures in self-publishing, including publishing manager, bookkeeper, and tech guy. His dedication and support have been invaluable to us.
Special thanks to Sherwin Arnott at Pink Sheep Media for bringing his creativity, intelligence, and ethics to the design of the second edition of the book. Sherwin patiently and persistently led (dragged!) us into the world of social media, and we are glad for the connections to women that this has created.
Jills acknowledgments: Karen, your wisdom and unwavering commitment to womens safety is a constant source of inspiration for me. What good fortune it has been for me to work and learn with you.
David, you have been my source of knowledge about respectful relationships between women and men. For that, I thank you deeply.
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