Mechthild R. von Scheurl-Defersdorf - Ein lautes Ja zum Leben sagen! zufrieden werden mit bewusster Sprache

Everybody Fights

2021 Kim Holderness and Penn Holderness

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ISBN 978-0-7852-3575-0 (audiobook)

ISBN 978-0-7852-3574-3 (eBook)

ISBN 978-0-7852-3572-9 (HC)

Epub Edition January 2021 9780785235743

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Library of Congress Control Number: 2020947022

Printed in the United States of America

2122232425LSC10987654321

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For Lola and Penn Charles.
Love is at the center of this book,
and your love inspires us.
Love, Mom and Dad

KIM

I owe my marriage to pigs in a blanket.

One night, when I was working in television news in Orlando, Florida, my boss sent me to cover the opening of a new mega mall. It wasnt glamorous, but at least I knew I wouldnt have to worry about dinner because the press release promised heavy hors doeuvres. PSA: If you are trying to get media to attend an event, offer free food. Nothing gets local news reporters to show up like some mini hotdogs and some booze.

As I was stuffing my fourth pig in a blanket into my mouth, I noticed a small crowd gathered around an extremely tall, insanely handsome guy with great hair. Everyone around him was laughing and smiling and hanging on his every word. Mind you, this was a gathering of people whose jobs were to be magnetic on television, so it was no small thing to be the life of this party. Did I mention he was handsome? I didnt introduce myself because I was seeing someone at the time, and besides, Tall Guy was there with his girlfriend. Of course he had a girlfriend. I wiped the mustard off my fingers and figured that was the last Id see of him.

But then a few months later, I ran into him again. In the middle of the bar Id gone to with my girlfriend (Id broken up with my boyfriend) was Tall Handsome Good Hair Guy up onstage. He cleared a spot and starting dancing. He went from the robot down to the worm, then flawlessly contorted himself into a backspin. He ended with a huge flourish, striking a pose on his side. I had made enough bad decisions in men to realize a good one break-dancing right in front of me. The crowd was still cheering when I turned to my friend and said, Thats the man Im going to marry.

Before I knew it, that tall handsome dude and I were dancing together. It seemed hed broken up with his girlfriend too. Score. It wasnt romanticthere was no swoony eye contact or Dirty Dancingstyle heat. It was full-on goofy. For every cringe-worthy dance move I had, he matched it and then some. I did the Mrs. Mia Wallace, and he came right back at me with the Vincent Vega. He cast his imaginary fishing pole; I took three steps out for him to hook me. I laughed harder than I had ever laughed before. In those moments, I knew I wanted to feel that way forever.

We talked and exchanged numbers. You guys, we had home phones back then. He called me on a phone that had a dial tone. For weeks, every single night after our newscasts we went home and called each other and talked until the wee hours of the morning. Id never had so much fun talking on the phone. The conversation flowed like wed known each other forever.

Finally, nervously, we decided we should go on an actual datein person. I spent hours picking the right outfit so that I could hit that perfect Oh, this? I just threw this on look. He picked me up and the first thing he did was hand me a cassette tape. I coolly accepted it with a smile, but my brain was yelling, He made you a mixtape. Marry this man immediately!

That evening ended with a monster make-out session and total confidence that this was my person. After only a few weeks of dating, we had the youre-the-one conversation. It went like this:

Penn: I think this is it, right?

Kim: Yeah, youre it.

Penn: Cool.

Kim: Cool.

It was just easy. About nine months after that, with sweaty hands and a voice cracking with nerves, Penn asked me to marry him.

During our engagement, Id occasionally run into a well-intentioned couple who would warn me, Marriage is a lot of work. I would nod sympathetically, but inside Id be thinking, Those poor people. They must not have a solid relationship like we do. I picked the right person. We love each other so much. How could this ever be work?

You can laugh now. If you need to put down this book to wipe the tears from your eyes, Ill understand.

PENN

Before Kim, I was guilty of what they call serial monogamy. Id date someone I liked but didnt love and then immediately become exclusive. Id stay with that mate for well over a year, which was often well past the expiration date. I craved the companionship and intimacy, but I didnt want to get too serious.

This pattern resulted in a lot of breakup conversations like this:

Girl: Penn, I really like you.

Penn: I really like you too.

Girl: But we seem to be in about the same place as we were a year ago.

Penn: Youre right! (pause) Whats wrong with that?

Girl: I think we should break up.

Penn: Okay!

Then along came Kim. She remembers me break-dancing at a nightclub, but I remember meeting her a year earlier than that.

Back when I was a local sports reporter in Florida, I worked Florida Gators football games on the weekends. Not only did I put on a coat and tie to deliver the news from behind a desk, I also had to film the action on the field. I would be on the sidelines of big-time national TV games (which I loved), running up and down the field toting a twenty-pound camera to get coverage. It was a serious workout, and I ended every game soaked in sweat.

One night when the Gators were playing Tennessee, I was hoofing it down the sideline to get to my next location when Kim walked by me. She had her hair downit was darker than it is nowand she was holding a microphone, wearing jeans and a black leather jacket. She looked annoyed and walked straight past me without looking around. I almost dropped my camera. I thought to myself,