Michele Connolly - How To Be An Introvert In An Extrovert World

Theres a lot of confusion about what exactly an introvert is. Partly this is because there are different ways the word is used.

In common usage, introverted is often used as a synonym for shy. But as any introvert knows, these are not the same things at all. I, for one, am rather an extreme introvert, but Im not particularly shy. (We talk more about this in How To Tell The Difference Between Introversion And Shyness.)

Renowned psychoanalyst Carl Jung wrote of introverts as people who lose energy during social interaction, while extroverts gain energy from being with others. According to Jung, most people are a mix of the two anyone who was purely one or the other would be in the lunatic asylum (his words, not mine!).

Although theres some evidence for Jungs energy distinction, its not quite what psychologists mean when they talk about the introversion-extroversion continuum.

The hugely popular Myers-Briggs Type Indicator extends aspects of Jungs theories and classifies sixteen personality types. Most people enjoy identifying their profile and learning about the implications for their personal and work life. I an INTJ sure do.

However, the MBTI does not meet psychologists requirements for a statistically valid and psychometrically sound personality test.

Psychologists conceive of introverts as being sensitive to stimulation noise, people, lights, everything. Because of this sensitivity, introverts are easily over-stimulated and become uncomfortable with too much input. This explains why many introverts avoid parties and crowds and enjoy simpler, smaller pleasures. Why they cancel plans and crave personal space. Why they register everything thats going on and feel exhausted by it all.

Extroverts, by contrast, tend to need a higher level of stimulation to feel comfortable. For them, plenty of people around and lots going on feels good. Too little stimulation can be unpleasant.

According to psychological research, the tendency toward introversion or extroversion is biologically based and appears to be relatively stable throughout life.

This is not to say that people are born one defined way and stay the same forever. We are all affected by life experiences, different environments, and countless other factors human psychology is not simple! But there does appear to be a tendency toward introversion or extroversion thats relatively fundamental to our personalities. And understanding this can help us to know ourselves better, to be kinder to ourselves and others, and to enjoy greater happiness.

Because psychologists look to evidence and research to back up their theories, and because my background is psychology, the psychological approach to introversion is the one I take in this book.