Lindsey Stoddard - Bea Is for Blended

MOM MAKES ME PROMISE I wont bicker with Bryce today. So even though I caught him sneaking pepperoni off the platter before the ceremony, messing up the pattern of slices, I dont say anything. Theres greasy evidence smudged on his rented tuxedo shirt, but I bite my tongue in the back of my mouth and remember how Mom looked right in my eyes and said, Please, Bea. Not today, and how I looked right back in her eyes and said, I got this.

My aunt Tam is reading a poem about new beginnings that makes me want to gag, and there are sixty-two people staring up at us with teary eyes. This isnt a new beginning, I think. Its a disastrous end.

At least I dont have to wear a dress or worry about matching anybody else, because Im the only one on this side. On my moms side.

Opposite me, Cameron and Tucker and Bryce stand with their hands behind their backs. They match. Gray suits and blue bow ties. Bryce catches my eye and smirks and smacks his lips in a way that says I-know-you-know-about-the-pepperoni-but-you-cant-say-anything so ha. I squeeze both fists around the thick sunflower stems, and even though I want to blow the whistle, hold up a red card, and point him to the bench, today I just have to let the ball roll. Because today, my mom is marrying his dad.

I close my eyes when Wendell and my mom kiss, and open them when Wendell snorts. He always snorts when he happy-cries, and itll be a while before he can stop. Its the same snort he has for sappy movie endings and those news stories when military parents come home and surprise their kids at school. Its the same snort that came from the way back of the gym during our end-of-year banquet, when Coach Wright talked about the importance of teamwork and how both coed rec teams had an incredible year of working together.

Wendell couldnt quit the snorting so he stepped out through the gyms double doors. I rolled my eyes at Nelle and Fern, the other two girls on my team, and Wendell missed when I got called up to receive the leagues Most Valuable Girl award. And when Bryce got Most Valuable Player.

Coach Wright handed us the awards and we had to stand next to each other so they could take a picture for the local paper. Nelle and Fern gave me little half smiles and I ran my fingers over the trophy. It was smaller than Bryces. Everyone applauded but I knew what they were thinking. They were thinking I was more valuable than Bryce, and they were right, because I scored more goals, had more assists, and never got tired or needed a sub like he did. But, they were thinking, at least she got something.

Most Valuable Girl.

My eyes burned when I held the award and I wished Mom hadnt been called for an emergency at work because she would have stood up and said that this is some bullsharky. But Ill tell you one thing. I didnt cry. I bit my tongue in the back of my mouth and didnt smile for the camera.

I threw the trophy in the big black garbage bin on the way out.

The officiant announces that my mom and Wendell are married and Mom sends me a little smile because during the rehearsal last night she told him very clearly he was not to say man and wife. We are man and woman, or husband and wife, but we are not man and wife, she said. The officiant nodded and made a note in his folder, and Mom crossed her arms over her chest and leaned into me for a secret Embers-girls fist bump.

At least shes not changing her name to Valentine. That is the last name on Earth to suit her, all heart-shaped and construction-paper pink. Even Wendell agrees that shes an Embers for life, bright and sparky and ready to ignite. And thats me too.

The organ player starts an upbeat song that fills the chapel and everyone stands and claps. Wendell pulls Cameron and Tucker and Bryce into a big Valentine hug and I can hear him whisper, I love you boys so much. Then he puts his hand on my shoulder and smiles and hugs me too. He and Mom walk hand in hand down the three steps toward the aisle. Mom leans over to hug Grandma Bea in the front row and Wendell starts snorting again and wipes tears from his face. That makes Mom and Grandma Bea share a little Embers-girls laugh, not a laugh-at-him kind of laugh, but an oh-Wendell-youre-sappy-but-we-love-you-anyway kind of laugh.

Mom leans into him and they start walking again. Shes wearing a small sunflower in her dark braid and her dress is ivory and flowy and falls easily over the curve of her belly.

That curve is the reason for all this. They were going to wait at least until Cameron and Tucker went to college. There was no rush, they kept telling us. They were going to keep taking it slow.

But now there will be another kid.

And I wonder which side that kid would be standing on if it were here. I wonder if itll be a Valentine or an Embers.

Wendell kisses the top of Moms head and puts his hand gently on her back. His finger has a new ring on it. Its different than the ring he was wearing the day he met my mom, the ring he just stopped wearing five years ago, the ring he keeps, with another ring, in a tiny blue porcelain container on his kitchen windowsill.

I watch his hand rub a small circle on my moms back and my eyes burn, but then the officiant gestures for Cameron and Tucker. They throw their arms around each others shoulders and move together down the aisle behind Mom and Wendell, waving to family in the first row. Everyone smiles at them in their matching suits and bow ties. Then the officiant signals to Bryce and me.

We step forward and meet in the middle, him in his gray suit and blue bow tie, me in my black swishy pants and red top, red like the US Womens National Team away jersey, red like embers. But I stay tight to my side of the aisle and hold the sunflowers between us. We are not on the same team, and he is not about to put his greasy pepperoni hand over my shoulder, even if the officiant told us it would be nice for the camera. No way.

Mom and Wendell have their first dance and everyone circles around with champagne glasses in their hands. Im standing between Grandma Bea and Aunt Tam and the photographer squats in front of us and changes the lens on her camera. Then flash! Flash! Flash! Flash! A hundred little clicks make Mom and Wendell glow and theyre laughing at something that exists only in the little space between them. And I wonder if its their new baby. The only one of us who is both of theirs.

Then the music changes from slow and sappy to fast and dancy and Wendell is opening his arms and waving us all to join in. Aunt Tam is first. She hollers whoo-hoo! and pumps her arms to the beat, and then Tucker bounds into the circle and starts playing an air piano, his fingers moving up and down the pretend keys, and before I can think of how to get out of this Im being nudged out to dance too.

Grandma Bea holds both my hands and knows all the words. Aint no mountain high enough! She swings my arms and it makes me move my feet and my pants swish around my ankles. I dont really know how to dance, but Im good at soccer moves, so I pretend theres a ball on the floor and do a couple of step-over-scissor fakes. Grandma smiles big and sings, To keep me from gettin to you, babe! Shes belting the song right to me and I dont mind that so much because its better than looking at everyone twirling and mixing all over the dance floor.

This is exactly what Mom wanted. All this mixing. No sides of the chapel, she told the wedding planner. No seating chart. Just let everyone blend. She smiled up at Wendell when she said that last part. Bryce rolled his eyes and I did too and I think it was the first time we agreed on something.