Garland H. Green - GuyRules: The Unspoken—and Previously Unrecorded—Rules That Govern Mens Social Behavior

The Rules

What Is GuyRules?

E verybody always asks us: Whats GuyRules? Weve given many answers, trying to define concisely just what it is, or they are, or, well, you see what we mean. The official answer has been a compilation of the unspoken rules that govern mens behavior. On one of our banner ads on the Web, we defined GuyRules as simply childish and silly humor. Weve found our answer changes depending on who asks. You might tell a woman, GuyRules are all the secret rules that explain why Guys do the things they do. To the Guys youd say something more like, Theyre all the protocol we know and follow without even thinking about it. Both men and women usually smile slightly at an answer like that, but you can tell in their eyes that they dont quite understand, and an example is going to be required.

It always happens. They want to know. We always find ourselves on the spot, asked once again to give a GuyRule. Which one? Therere so many. Okay, what crowd am I in? Should I pull out a gritty one for the boys, or a more politically correct, insightful tidbit for the women? Usually, we just rely on the old standbys: Driver controls the music, the Guy who tries to make the fire will stop at nothing to get it going, or the infamous urinal protocol rules.

After bathing in the wash of laughter following the telling of a couple of rules, or enduring a few seconds of silent miscomprehension, we give the lowdown on what constitutes a GuyRule: rule, insight, and humor. Thats the criteria.

To be a rule, the GuyRule must be a truth about Guys that applies universally or close to it. Is it true of most Guys? Would your grandfather get it? Your neighbor on the other side of the planet?

GuyRules are very much about insight. Were not offering revelations here, simply pointing out and talking about how Guys behave and sometimes asking why. Does the rule reveal something, or further illustrate the forces behind the actions?

Finally, whats a GuyRule if it doesnt make you chuckle? First, the connection to the idea, then the flash of insight, and if all goes well, a good laugh. Face it, we can laugh at ourselves, and why not? The women do.

After we explain what GuyRules are and the conversation moves on to something else, were left wondering if they got it and how we could explain it in just a few words next time, words that convey rule, insight, and humor all in one perfect bundle. It never quite comes together.

So until it does, weve settled for, Well, youll just have to get the book when it comes out next fall.

The Project That Started It All

In the spring of 95 Dan moved down to Tempe, Arizona, along with his new bride. I was excited to have him living so close to me because I had finally found a buddy to hang out with, someone who kind of liked doing the same things I did. At that time I had just purchased my first home and had begun to size up what projects I needed to complete to make it the home of my dreams. The previous home owner had done a tremendous amount of work keeping the place in great shape; however, I had plans of my own. Therefore, I set out to find and conquer my first home repair. I decide to co-opt Dan into helping me build the RV gate of steel.

After identifying what needed to be done, I cleared the project with the wife, as every smart Guy must do, evaluated the job, saved the money, and waited for the weekend. Once it arrived, I purchased all the materials, picked up a case of beer (cans, of course), and awaited Dans arrival. When he showed up we talked about what we were going to do, looked at the plans, and then set out to replace the piece of junk RV gate that was attached to the side of my house.

Once we actually started to work, we began to talk about absolutely nothing (in great detail) and I explained to Dan that I have had hundreds of these conversations and that I called them GuyRules. We began to talk about them and found ourselves laughing at what we were doing. On a whim, I went into the house and grabbed an old pocket recorder and we began to dictate these rules into it. These raw thoughts would later become www.guyrules.com. The gate, on the other hand, while a wonderful design on paper, lasted a grand total of one year before falling off its hinges and landing on the ground in a crumpled heap. Oh well, at least it was better than the junk that used to be there.

Analog to Digital to Dynamic

We only had one tape for the microrecorder, so when it filled up wed copy it onto a bigger tape on a boom box. Wed record over the old stuff on the small tape, now safely preserved on the larger tape, if a bit scratchy. Once, the small tape was full and we hadnt got around to copying it. Gar said, Weve got to get that tape back. I have so many Guy-Rules to get down. You see, once we got started, rules started showing themselves in everything we did. We were struck with how much protocol there was and how naturally Guys just followed it.

And there it went. We transcribed GuyRules from the bigger tapes onto the computer, in digital format. Initially, we just typed them into a text document, then printed them out, one after another, just titles and rules, in the order that we put them down on tape. GuyRules then started in quasi-book format, but what it became is much different.

Around this time, the Web hit the media hard, and people were becoming aware of it. We used it to publish GuyRules and the Web site took on just as much a life of its own as GuyRules itself had. Soon we had all the rules in a database on our Linux Web server and people around the world were searching, reading, and submitting their own GuyRules.

To qualify rules, or at least as an attempt to minimize the garbage we received, we created the random tests on the Web site. Guys could practice with the five-question multiple-choice quiz, which was always different and graded instantly. When they were ready, Guys could try to pass the ten-question test to receive the log-on name and password for the page, so they could submit their own GuyRule to the Web site.

We wondered if anybody would give GuyRules two seconds of their time, much less enough time to read rules, pass a test, and log in just to submit their own. But we were having so much fun playing with the Web site that we didnt care much. Wed put it all out there and see what happened.

Slowly, but steadily, Internet readers began to add to our intial collection of rules with those of their own. The first one we received from the site was Wine Selection, and to this day, its still one of the best rules out there. The three of us discussed over e-mail whether or not we thought a rule that came in was worthy of its place on the Web site. We got a big boost one day when Yahoo posted a link to GuyRules on their Cool Link page. We received thousands of visitors that day. Later, when Maxim magazine put a link to GuyRules on their Fun Stuff page, it brought us a steady flow of traffic.

Eventually, we put on-line voting tools in place to automate the process of approving, editing, and shipping GuyRules to the site. People got it. People from all over the world participated on-line and enjoyed the site. One Guy from the UK said, Great stuff, its all true on this side of the pond, too.