Annie Tipton - True Story

2013 by Barbour Publishing, Inc.

Print ISBN 978-1-62416-131-5

eBook Editions:
Adobe Digital Edition (.epub) 978-1-62416-453-8
Kindle and MobiPocket Edition (.prc) 978-1-62416-452-1

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced or transmitted for commercial purposes, except for brief quotations in printed reviews, without written permission of the publisher.

Churches and other noncommercial interests may reproduce portions of this book without the express written permission of Barbour Publishing, provided that the text does not exceed 500 words or 5 percent of the entire book, whichever is less, and that the text is not material quoted from another publisher. When reproducing text from this book, include the following credit line: From Diary of a Real Payne: True Story, published by Barbour Publishing, Inc. Used by permission.

This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are either products of the authors imagination or used fictitiously. Any similarity to actual people, organizations, and/or events is purely coincidental.

Cover illustration and design: Luke Flowers Creative

Published by Barbour Publishing, Inc., P.O. Box 719, Uhrichsville, Ohio 44683, www.barbourbooks.com

Our mission is to publish and distribute inspirational products offering exceptional value and biblical encouragement to the masses.

Printed in the United States of America.
Dickinson Press, Inc., Grand Rapids, MI 49512; August 2013; D10004052

For always believing in me.
And for giving me the confidence to use the gifts God has blessed me with.

July 20

Hey, hi. Hows it going? (I never know how to start things like this.)

Lets be honest: Its weird that Im writing a letter to a blank book inside of that blank book. I know you cant write back to me, Diary, but here I am, writing to you. Why? Because Mom thinks keeping a diary will be a good outlet for me. What does good outlet mean? I have no idea. I know theres a bad outlet in our guest bedroom. I found it last week when I plugged the vacuum in and it wouldnt turn on. Mom thought I was just trying to get out of chores (again), but the outlet really was broken. It did get me out of vacuuming for a few minutes, though. I counted it as a big win for EJ. Whos EJ? Thats me. Emma Jean Payne. EJ for short.

Since Im going to be writing in you a lot, Diary, let me tell you a little bit about me: Im 10. Ive got freckles on my nose, elbows, and knees. My eyes are light green and my hair iswell, my hair is hard to describe. The best way I know how to explain it is that its shoulder length, notquite -blond-but-not-quite-brown and not-quite-straight-but-not-quite-curly. All of that is bad enough, but heres the worst part: Mom keeps my bangs trimmed a little too short because she hates it when hair falls in my eyes. The second she sees me blowing my bangs off my face, her scissors appear out of nowhere for a trim that ends in a bangs massacre.

My hair is basically a tragedy.

Ill be in the fourth grade at Spooner Elementary School this fall. Spooner, as in, Spooner, Wisconsinthe single most boringest place in the universe. I wish I was kidding, but Im not. For a town that has an entire museum thats dedicated exclusively to the heritage of the canoe, the word boring might even be too nice.

Here are the things I love:

1. My family . Dads the pastor at Vine Street Community Church. He loves God, and he loves people. And he loves games. If he were a superhero, his superpower would be that he could make a game out of anything. This one time, when we were standing in a hugely long and boring line at the grocery store, he made a game out of guessing how many candy bars were in each box at the checkout. He even got some of the other people waiting in line to play. An old man wearing flannel, who had a scraggly beard tucked into his belt, won the game in a tiebreaker by correctly guessing there were eleven Butterfingers in the box. Dad let him pick out any candy bar he wanted as a prize. You wouldve thought the guy had won a new car, he was that happy. I dont think Ill ever forget the wide grin on that whiskery face as he clutched the king-size Snickers in his fist.

Mom teaches second grade at Spooner Elementary. There are a lot of great things about her, but one amazing thing is her hair. Its long and blond and beautiful and perfectly straight, and she puts it up by twisting it into a knot and sticking pens in it (or pencils, or chopsticks, or big paper clips, or whatever else is handywe never know what shes going to find in there!). Once on a Sunday morning right before the worship service was about to start, Mom saved the day by fixing the busted button on Dads pants with a red pipe cleaner she found in her hair. Why was there a pipe cleaner in her hair? Pipe cleaners were part of the kids church craft that morningand it did a great job keeping her hair out of the way. Thanks to Moms sweet hairdo, Dad preached that morning without worrying that his pants would end up around his ankles.

I have a Cockapoo mix named Matthew Cuthbert T-Rex Payne, but I call him Bert for short. Mom and Dad gave him to me as a puppy for my eighth birthday, and even though Bert is my dog, they made me let my little brother help name him. So I gave the first two names (Matthew Cuthbert is a character in Anne of Green Gablesmore on that superb work of fiction later), and my dork of a brother loves dinosaurs, hence T-Rex. (Seriously, though, what kind of a name is that for a dog? A dumb one.) Some dogs look like theyre smiling and other dogs may have a bored-looking face, but Bert is different. He has at least ten unique feelings he shows on his face. Here are my favorite six:

1. HappyIts playtime!

2. GuiltyIm sorry, EJ.Moms begonias looked like they wanted to be dug up.

3. HungryIf you dont feed me that piece of bacon from your plate, I literally will fall over and die of hunger this very moment.

4. CuriousWhat is it? What does it smell like? What does it taste like? Can I play with it? Can I? Can I? Can I?

5. ProudI saw that you left a bag of trash sitting on the kitchen floor, so I figured that meant you wanted me to help you sort through it. As you can see, I did a great job shredding the bag and organizing what was inside, all over the floor. Youre welcome.

6. LovingEJ, youre the bestest friend a pooch could ever ask for. Can we snuggle and watch movies?

Bert is an adventurer at heart, and hes game for anything. As dogs go, hes fantastic.