Stacey Radin - Brave Girls: Raising Young Women with Passion and Purpose to Become Powerful Leaders

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Copyright 2015 by Stacey Radin

All rights reserved, including the right to reproduce this book or portions thereof in any form whatsoever. For information address Atria Books Subsidiary Rights Department, 1230 Avenue of the Americas, New York, NY 10020.

First Atria Books hardcover edition January 2015

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Jacket design by Janet Perr

Jacket photograph by Getty Images/Purestock

Author photograph Emily Dewan

Library of Congress Control Number: 2014003404

ISBN 978-1-4516-9930-2

ISBN 978-1-4516-9932-6 (ebook)

This book is dedicated to my father, Laurence Bernstein, whose unconditional love inspired me to reach for my dreams and imagine what life could be if I believed they could come true! His words of wisdom are ingrained in my soul even though he is no longer physically here to speak them. I hope he can hear me now when I say, You were the greatest influence in my life, unleashing my power to change the world. Everything I have accomplished has been because of you!

To my children, Justin and Jordyn, both of you always remain my number one priority. The greatest gift I have ever received was motherhood. Thank you for being patient and understanding throughout this amazing but frenzied journey! I owe you both a few family trips and undivided attention. As a great man once said to me and now I say to you, You are meant to do great things in the world. Its up to you to figure out what that means.

Before Unleashed started, I was scared about what to say. Now I can say what I feel.

Lillian, fifth grade

Usually were told that were too young, but here you can help out firsthand.

Julia, seventh grade

Unleashed is a program where a girl can walk into the room and learn to use her power for a good reason instead of having power and not knowing what to do with it. You can use it to change society and help dogs and change the world and make it a better place.

Kristina, seventh grade

I think of it as more than a dog rescue program. Its not just about dogs; its about working as a team and supporting each other to make change.

Traciann, eighth grade

We are still as strong as boys; they may be physically stronger but not strong in words.

Adanla, sixth grade

[During a discussion about dog fighting] Its like putting a Band-Aid over the issue of aggression.

Anna, eighth grade

I went into Unleashed hoping I could make a change in animal welfare, and now that Ive come out, I know I can make a change in not just that part, but other aspects of society.

Charlotte, eighth grade

Just because we are dainty and cute doesnt mean we arent powerful.

Ivana, sixth grade

Being an Unleashed girl is an opportunity for girls to have a voice.

Samantha, eighth grade

I am only one person, but I can make a difference.

Marie, eighth grade

O ur society as a whole is lacking in opportunities designed to help preadolescent girls feel confident, secure, and emotionally safe. Middle school isnt all sleepovers and smiles: It is the purgatory of childhood, wedged between the nurturing elementary years and the maturity attributed to a high school teen. The majority of middle school girls are riding the proverbial emotional roller coaster without a safety net or a seat belt. Defying the values of and severing ties with family, asserting autonomy and independence and defiance, are all normal aspects of this second stage of separation-individuation (the first having taken place during toddlerhood). However, it essentially causes a state of crisis, leaving a young girl feeling alienated, anxious, and powerless. Just mention middle school, and each and every woman I have encountered seems visibly shaken, running off a litany of bad memories and social mishaps. It is a time when self-esteem plummets, bullying is pervasive, and the decibel level of a girls voice dramatically lowers to the point of being practically inaudible.

Compounding matters, the structures that were once in place to support middle school girls are now nonexistent: Cultural institutions (i.e.,

At school, one building houses popular girls and academics, jocks and outcasts, queen bees and wannabes. More likely than not, the groups stick to themselves (at best) or tear each other down (at worst). Rampant use of Facebook, IMing, and texting has made it possible for girls to be bullied from the usual safety of their own bedroomsall during a time when young women need the comfort and support of sisterhood more than ever.

For all of these reasons and more, adolescence is the ideal time for girls to develop the critical tools needed to be a brave, powerful female. Not only are they at the crux of identity development, challenging the status quo, redefining the norms for themselves and others, but they are flooded with biological, physiological, cognitive, social, and emotional change. Planting the seeds during this formative stage, as they experiment and define who they are and whom they want to be, establishing templates for leadership, civic engagement, communication, self-awareness, and positive interpersonal relationships, will ultimately affect their futures.

In 2010, I founded Unleashed, a middle-school-based social-justice program empowering girls to take a stand against an injustice they are passionate about by offering them the opportunity to become experts in animal rights and welfare. They design educational awareness campaigns, spread their message by speaking to the community, host events that engage others in their mission, lead school assemblies, and tap into social media, gaining hands-on experience as social activists. Integrated into the program is the opportunity for girls to engage in community service with our rescue organization, selecting puppies from lists provided by overcrowded shelters across the country, conducting behavioral assessments on animals being transported to New York, and recruiting temporary and permanent homes for them.

Over twelve weeks, they are provided with critical tools they can use to solve complex social issues throughout their lives. They develop a deep understanding of animal rights and welfare; the nationwide inhumane treatment of dogs and other pets; the synergy that exists between the animal and the human rights movements; and how the issues faced by animals are reflective of societys larger problems. Girls learn to diagnose a social problem, digging deep beneath the surface to address the root cause of the issues they have identified, to create change, and to engage others in their cause. As a result, they graduate from Unleashed feeling unbelievably powerful, realizing that because of their newly developed tools, they have the ability to positively impact their community and can make a difference in the world. Nola, eleven, who participated in sixth grade, explains, Unleashed taught me how to speak my mind and express my opinion about certain things. I didnt always used to do that before. I learned that I had a lot more to say than I thought.