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Leonard Sax - Girls on the Edge: Why So Many Girls Are Anxious, Wired, and Obsessed—And What Parents Can Do

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A parenting expert reveals the four biggest threats to girls psychological growth and explains how parents can help their daughters develop a healthy sense of self.
In Girls on the Edge, psychologist and physician Leonard Sax argues that many girls today have a brittle sense of self-they may look confident and strong on the outside, but theyre fragile within. Sax offers the tools we need to help them become independent and confident women, and provides parents with practical tips on everything from helping their daughter limit her time on social media, to choosing a sport, to nurturing her spirit through female-centered activities.
Compelling and inspiring, Girls on the Edge points the way to a new future for todays girls and young women.

Leonard Sax: author's other books


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Copyright 2020 by Leonard Sax Cover Design by Shreya Gupta Cover Image Lynn - photo 1

Copyright 2020 by Leonard Sax

Cover Design by Shreya Gupta

Cover Image Lynn Koenig / Getty Images

Cover copyright 2020 Hachette Book Group, Inc.

Hachette Book Group supports the right to free expression and the value of copyright. The purpose of copyright is to encourage writers and artists to produce the creative works that enrich our culture.

The scanning, uploading, and distribution of this book without permission is a theft of the authors intellectual property. If you would like permission to use material from the book (other than for review purposes), please contact permissions@hbgusa.com. Thank you for your support of the authors rights.

Basic Books

Hachette Book Group

1290 Avenue of the Americas, New York, NY 10104

www.basicbooks.com

Originally published in hardcover and ebook by Basic Books in April 2010

Second Trade Paperback Edition: August 2020

Published by Basic Books, an imprint of Perseus Books, LLC, a subsidiary of Hachette Book Group, Inc. The Basic Books name and logo is a trademark of the Hachette Book Group.

The Hachette Speakers Bureau provides a wide range of authors for speaking events. To find out more, go to www.hachettespeakersbureau.com or call (866) 376-6591.

The publisher is not responsible for websites (or their content) that are not owned by the publisher.

Library of Congress Control Number: 2020938917

ISBNs: 978-1-5416-1780-3 (trade paperback), 978-1-5416-4709-1 (ebook)

E3-20200824-JV-NF-ORI

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Praise for GIRLS ON THE EDGE The best book about the current state of girls - photo 3

Praise for
GIRLS ON THE EDGE

The best book about the current state of girls and young women in America.

Caitlin Flanagan, The Atlantic

Packed with advice and concrete suggestions for parents, Girls on the Edge is a treasure trove of rarely seen research on girls, offering families guidance on some of the most pressing issues facing girls today. Dr. Saxs commitment to girls success comes through on every page.

Rachel Simmons, author of Odd Girl Out, The Curse of the Good Girl, and Enough As She Is

Crucial. Parents of tween and teen girls would do well to check this book.

Chronicle of Higher Education

Dr. Sax once again combines years of experience with compelling research and common sense to intelligently challenge the status quo of what it means to raise a healthy daughter. Girls on the Edge offers skills parents can incorporate to feel more competent with our girls and young women.

Florence Hilliard, director of the Gender Studies Project, University of WisconsinMadison

The world is way different from what it was a couple of years ago; this is essential reading for parents and teachers, and one of the most thought-provoking books on teen development available.

Library Journal

Fortunately, [Leonard] Sax is up to more here than pronouncing young women irrevocably doomed. Girls on the Edge doesnt dramatize the self-destructive behavior it describes [and it] speaks exclusively to parents and offers concrete ways to help their daughters cultivate stronger personal identities.

Slate.com/Double X

In clear, accessible language, Sax deftly blends anecdotes, clinical research, and even lines of poetry in persuasive, often fascinating chapters that speak straight to parents. Warning that a 1980s solution wont help solve twenty-first-century problems, Sax offers a holistic, sobering call to help the current generation of young women develop the support and sense of self that will allow them to grow into resilient adults.

Booklist

Turn off your cell phones and computers and read this book! You will connect with your daughter in new ways, and she will thank you.

Rabbi Sandy Eisenberg Sasso, author of Gods Paintbrush and In Gods Name

Written through real stories and supported by strong evidence in the fields of education, psychology, and the sciencesa must-read.

Margaret M. Ferrara, PhD, associate professor, University of NevadaReno

Leonard Sax brings together a rare combination of psychoanalytic training with a deep empathy for girls and their stories in this important book. His argument that girls are struggling to find their centers will resonate and his recommendations for how to locate them will inspire.

Courtney E. Martin, author of Perfect Girls, Starving Daughters

Dr. Saxs deep commitment to girls developing a positive sense of self is woven into the fabric of this book. Girls on the Edge is a must-read for every parent of a girl as well as for every adult who teaches girls.

Dr. Mary Seppala, head of school, Agnes Irwin School, Bryn Mawr, Pennsylvania

I made Girls on the Edge required reading for all administrators at Woodlands Academy of the Sacred Heart, and I strongly recommend the book to all of our parents. Leonard Sax explains to parents and educators of girls just what is going on in the cyberbubble of instant messaging, texting, and social networking sites. There is a way to help girls navigate this world and find their centerscenters of genuine humanness and authenticity and, yes, spirituality. Readers will find out much they dont know, and that is more than they might guess. A must-read.

Gerald J. Grossman, head of school, Woodlands Academy of the Sacred Heart, Lake Forest, Illinois

Leonard Sax sounds a crucial warning to parents of teenage girls. No matter how attentive and savvy you are, the lives of girls today are like nothing you ever knew. The obsessions are worse, nastiness is rampant (especially on the web), drinking is up, and sexuality keeps creeping down the age ladder. Girls need girl-specific interventions, Sax insists, and Girls on the Edge explains whyand also how to do it.

Mark Bauerlein, PhD, professor, Emory University

Boys Adrift

Why Gender Matters

The Collapse of Parenting

For my wife, Katie, and our daughter, Sarah

Dig into yourself

find out how deep is the place from which your life springs;

at its source you will find the answer to your question

R AINER M ARIA R ILKE

emily

When Emily was five years old, she brought two lifelike miniature gorilla dolls, one big and one small, to kindergarten for show-and-tell. She used the dolls to explain dominance hierarchies to the other children using terms like alpha male and dominant. Each succeeding year, she was always anxious the first few weeks of school. I have to make sure the teacher knows Im smart. Its hard to change first impressions if you say something dumb the first week, she told her mom in fifth grade. She need not have worried. Emily seldom said anything dumb. The teachers were quick to recognize that Emily was, indeed, the smart one.

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