Lisa Friedman Bloch - Manopause

Praise forManopause

Manopause is an entertaining and enlightening read about an important and neglected topic. As a midlife man, I was impressed with the sensitivity of the authors writing, and as a health psychologist, I was delighted with the solidness of their scholarship. I highly recommend this book to men and women. I know it will help both genders navigate a heretofore challenging passage.

Fred Luskin, Ph.D., Director of the Stanford University Forgiveness Projects, Professor of Clinical Psychology at the Institute of Transpersonal Psychology, and Best-Selling Author of Forgive for Good, Forgive for Love, and Stress Free for Good

Manopause is an extremely helpful book that sheds light on an important and seldom-talked-about topic. Its a must-read for both genders!

Marcelle Pick, MSN, OB/GYN NP, Co-Founder of Women to Women and Author of Are You Tired and Wired?

This is a terrific book! Not only is it well-written and friendly, its well-researched and enormously informative. I cant wait to share it with the women (and men) I work with who are struggling with the often mystifying physical and psychological changes that take place in men during midlife.

Laraine T. Zappert, Ph.D., Clinical Professor in the Department of Psychiatry and Behavioral Sciences at Stanford University School of Medicine

As a urologic surgeon and clinician for over 35 years, I am convinced that both men and women deserve the enjoyment that comes with complete sexual satisfaction. Yet too often I have seen men deprive themselves of that satisfaction at midlife, due to ignorance of normal physical and mental changes. Manopause does a stellar job of busting through that ignorance, by giving readers facts about mens hormonal and psychological shifts that will help them to eliminate negativity and self-doubt, while enriching their sexual lives and relationships.

Dudley Seth Danoff, M.D., F.A.C.S., Founder and President, Tower Urology Group, Cedars-Sinai Medical Center and Author of Penis Power

As a family therapist, I am delighted that Manopause gives us a comprehensive way to look at men at midlife and to understand how their psychological and physical changes impact them and all those around them. Just as Passages changed the way we view menopause, Manopause will change the way we view the male midlife crisis. After reading this groundbreaking book, you wont be able to look at yourself or your man the same way again.

Eva Ritvo, M.D., Former Vice Chair of the Department of Psychiatry, Miller School of Medicine, and Co-Author of Concise Guide to Marriage and Family Therapy

ALSO BY LISA FRIEDMAN BLOCH
AND KATHY KIRTLAND SILVERMAN

Dr. Richard Marrs Fertility Book: Americas Leading Infertility Expert Tells You Everything You Need to Know About Getting Pregnant

Copyright 2012 by Lisa Friedman Bloch and Kathy Kirtland Silverman

Published and distributed in the United States by: Hay House, Inc.: www.hayhouse.com Published and distributed in Australia by: Hay House Australia Pty. Ltd.: www.hayhouse.com.au Published and distributed in the United Kingdom by: Hay House UK, Ltd.: www.hayhouse.co.uk Published and distributed in the Republic of South Africa by: Hay House SA (Pty), Ltd.: www.hayhouse.co.za Distributed in Canada by: Raincoast: www.raincoast.com Published in India by: Hay House Publishers India: www.hayhouse.co.in

Cover design: Christy Salinas Interior design: Tricia Breidenthal

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced by any mechanical, photographic, or electronic process, or in the form of a phonographic recording; nor may it be stored in a retrieval system, transmitted, or otherwise be copied for public or private useother than for fair use as brief quotations embodied in articles and reviewswithout prior written permission of the publisher.

The authors of this book do not dispense medical advice or prescribe the use of any technique as a form of treatment for physical, emotional, or medical problems without the advice of a physician, either directly or indirectly. The intent of the authors is only to offer information of a general nature to help you in your quest for emotional and spiritual well-being. In the event you use any of the information in this book for yourself, which is your constitutional right, the authors and the publisher assume no responsibility for your actions.

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Bloch, Lisa Friedman.

Manopause : your guide to surviving his changing life / Lisa Friedman Bloch, Kathy Kirtland Silverman.

p. cm.

Includes bibliographical references.

ISBN 978-1-4019-2712-7 (pbk. : alk. paper) ISBN 978-1-4019-3106-3 (digital) 1. Middle-aged menPsychology. 2. Midlife crisis. 3. Middle-aged menSexual behavior. I. Silverman, Kathy Kirtland. II. Title.

HQ1059.4.B59 2012

305.2441dc23

2012013046

Tradepaper ISBN: 978-1-4019-2712-7
Digital ISBN: 978-1-4019-3106-3

15 14 13 12 4 3 2 1
1st edition, September 2012

Printed in the United States of America

To my precious daughters and treasured son, Alexis, Caroline, and Jordan, and to my extraordinary man, Jonathan, thank you for your patience, enthusiasm, and immeasurable support.
Lisa

To Matt, for the great man he would have been. To Alan, for the remarkable man he is.
Kathy

by Louann Brizendine, M.D. author of The Female Brain and The Male Brain

When I met Lisa Bloch and Kathy Silverman at an event in the San Francisco area in the spring of 2010, I realized immediately that we were kindred souls. Like me, they were fascinated by the differences between women and men, and by the robust effect of hormones on mens behavior. I have dedicated my own professional life and decades of work as a neuropsychiatrist, first at Harvard University and today at the University of California, San Francisco, to clinical work in understanding how hormones affect our brains, and how the differences between the male and female brains influence the way the sexes function, feel, and communicate in their everyday lives and relationships. The moment I learned about Lisa and Kathys research, I knew that Manopause would be a wonderful addition to our existing body of knowledge about men at midlife, and, as it speaks to women, that it would enlighten them about the complicating forces that converge on their men during this pivotal, yet somewhat secretive, time.

Manopause surpassed my highest expectations. It brings mens midlife change out into the open. It not only makes the reader feel less burdened and alone, but also uplifts her by teaching her how to move through this delicate time period while focusing on its positive aspectsand there are so many to experience. Manopause guides women to lovingly assist their men, while making their own lives better in the process.

As the founder of the Womens Mood and Hormone Clinic at UCSF, and the co-director of the Program in Sexual Medicine, I have counseled many midlife couples during the last 25 years, and I am acutely aware of the confusion that midlife hormone changes can produce for both gendersparticularly for men, whose brains make them world champions at blocking their emotional reactions. In my practice I have seen that as mens hormones shift at midlife, so does their reality. They feel tendencies that are new to them. They may become more responsive to cuddling and bonding, and, as the authors explain, have an improved capacity to empathize and read subtle facial expressions. And they may be less territorial, and less compelled to fight for a place in the pecking order. While these characteristics may be a welcomed relief to their women, they can terrorize men. Lisa and Kathy expertly, and with anecdotal stories, explain why this is.