For a generation that has not had great role models of what godly men look like, Brians clarion call to live out the five marks of biblical manhood inspires and challenges men to be all God intended so that future generations have men worth following.
John Burke , New York Times bestselling author of Imagine Heaven and No Perfect People Allowed
As a dad of four (including two teenage boys), I believe it has never been harder to raise young men. We have certain expectations of how our boys should grow into manhood, but they get many conflicting signals from the world around them and can easily feel that no matter what they do they cant ever measure up. Brians insights into the marks of a man are spot on. They challenge me to my core, but nothing great comes easy. I find myself going back to these marks when I am making tough decisions or when my boy impulses might direct me in a way that is contrary to what God would want me to do. The marks are simple, easy to remember, and important, and we need to incorporate them into our lives so that we can be the men God intended us to be.
Contrary to what lots of folks seem to think, adolescence doesnt turn a boy into a man. A real man is far more than a boy with a few years under his belt. Thankfully, in this era of great confusion over what it actually means to be a full-fledged man, Brian Tome has written a helpful, timely, and at times hilarious book. I highly recommend it. Youll find it well worth your time.
Contents
Cover
Title Page
Copyright Page
Endorsements
Acknowledgments
How to Read This Book
Introduction: Boys to Men
Mark I: Men Have a Vision
1. Boys Are Shortsighted. Men Play the Long Game.
2. Boys Live for Today. Men Think Long Term.
3. Boys Drift. Men Focus.
4. Boys Look for Open Doors. Men Break through Barriers.
Mark II: Men Take a Minority Position
5. Boys Want to Go with the Flow. Men Are Willing to Stand against the Tide.
6. Boys Want to Fit In. Men Arent Afraid to Stand Out.
7. Boys Are Fractions. Men Are Whole.
8. Boys Crave Independence. Men Embrace Interdependence.
Mark III: Men Are Team Players
9. Boys Are Lone Wolves. Men Run in Packs.
10. Boys Are Passive. Men Are Active.
12. Boys Hold Back Emotional Expression. Men Are Affectionate.
13. Boys Make Each Other Comfortable. Men Make Each Other Better.
14. Boys Tear Each Other Down. Men Build Each Other Up.
15. Boys Live to Play. Men Play to Live.
Mark IV: Men Work
16. Boys Dont Want to Work. Men Work.
17. Boys Work to Stake Claims. Men Work to Experience God.
18. Boys Act to Serve Themselves. Men Work to Serve Others.
19. Boys Consume. Men Produce.
Mark V: Men Are Protectors
20. Boys Are Predators. Men Are Protectors.
21. Boys Want Their Pleasure Today. Men Think about a Womans Tomorrow.
22. Boys Coast. Men Keep Pushing Themselves.
23. Boys Spend to Zero on Themselves. Men Achieve Financial Health So They Can Give.
24. Boys Passively Watch Others Spirituality. Men Proactively Lead Others to True Spirituality.
Conclusion: Get On It
Epilogue: Man Camp
Notes
About the Author
Back Ads
Back Cover
Acknowledgments
All truth in this book stems from...
The great men who have gone before me and built into me: Dick Tome, Denny Pattyn, Dan Lacich, Gil Hopkins
The men who journey with me: Darin Yates, Kyle Ranson, Art Schlemmer, Rob Seddon, Steve Smith, Judd Watkins, Mike Croci, Craig Dockery, Brian Wells, Jim Bechtold, Tom Shepherd, Glen Schneiders, Mark Stecher, Kirk Perry, Jerry Rushing, Chuck Mingo
The women who refine me: Kathy Beechem, Vivienne Bechtold, Usha Sklena, Susannah Croci, Dani Watkins, Michelle Smith, Molly Lindner
The wife who completes me: Libby Tome
The kids who bring me joy: Lena Tome, Jake Tome, Moriah Tome
How to Read This Book
If you would actually read a section in a book called How to Read This Book, then you are someone who likes to read. If this is you, turn the page and start reading.
This book is laid out for the average guy, even though the average guy doesnt read this many words. Most guys dont read anything unless it is mandated for work. This isnt a judgment, just an observable fact. If they do read, it is in short bursts with the finish line in sightthink magazine articles, blogs, and book summaries.
If books this size intimidate you, simply read the introduction and the first chapter in each of the five marks. These brief chapters will give you the macro content. If you want to dig deeper, go through the rest of the book.
I believe every sentence and every chapter in this book has value, and Im thankful for your trust as you give your time to grow as a man.
Brian Tome
Mark I: Men Have a Vision
4
Boys Look for Open Doors. Men Break through Barriers.
Getting to work on December 3, 2005, was a bit more stressful than usual. It wasnt a stuck in traffic or nowhere to park kind of problem. This was an angry protesters kind of thing: angry protesters in front of our church, angry protesters ticked off at our church, angry protesters ticked off at me . This was the day we were dedicating our new auditorium and building expansion that cost tens of millions of dollars. I know that large building programs can be controversial, but Id never seen this before. Something else was going on that Ill get to in a moment.
I thought the deal was start a church, help people, and folks will like you. Im pretty sure I read that somewhere during seminary. And this wasnt the first time the protesters had shown up. They had been out there before. They had also written letters to the newspaper, given television interviews, and assembled an impressive triple threat of good old American firepower: lawyers, politicians, and bloggers.
Resistance is the refusal to accept something or an attempt to prevent something. To me its always felt more like a poke in the eye with a sharp stick, a pit in my stomach, or, to go a little lower, a swift kick in the crotch.