Bruce Riley - The Chocolate Box

Act I

The scene opens within a childs bedroom. Mrs. Buffington, seated beside the bed, and Mr. Buffington, standing, look gravely down upon their sick child. Through the window can be seen a few snowflakes tumbling out of a gray sky. A small Christmas tree sits atop the childs dresser.

Mrs. Buffington, removing a thermometer from the childs mouth and studying it, the childs name being Abigail or Abbey. Oh dear, Abbey has a temperature of 104.

Mr. Buffington. Wed better call Dr. Hall right away. I hope our party line isnt busy.

Mrs. Buffington. If it is, youll just have to tell them its an emergency. Theyll understand.

Mr. Buffington, exiting and, after a pause, his voice being heard from the next room. Hello, central. Give me Walnut 6198 please.

Abbeys dream body appears to sit up out of a mist, while the body of the sick child remains motionless in bed. Wearing a flannel nightgown, Abbey dances lightly around the room as Mr. Buffington speaks in the background.

Mr. Buffington. Hello. Dr. Hall? This is Guy Buffington, and Im calling about little Abigail. We brought her in last month because of a sty. Well, thats cleared up, but now shes got a temperature of 104, and were terribly worried. She doesnt respond to anything You can? Right away? Thank you ever so much. Were much obliged.

As Mr. Buffington watches for Dr. Hall through the window, Mrs. Buffington places a damp washcloth on Abbeys forehead. She kisses Abbey, then stands beside Mr. Buffington. He puts his arm around her shoulder.

An eccentric figure rises out of a mist from behind the bed.

Abbey. Hello there. Who are you?

Crafty Mind, an old-fashioned schoolmaster wearing a scholastic robe, which is the worse for wear. He may absentmindedly toss and catch a piece of chalk. I, my sprite, am the personification of your intellect, otherwise known as Crafty Mind.

A second figure rises out of a mist from behind the bed.

Abbey. Well, hello. Whats your name?

Lustful Body, a corpulent figure with a battered top hat and collar askew, wearing spats and carrying a walking stick. I, lassie, am your Lustful Body.

A third figure rises out of a mist from behind the bed.

Abbey. Hi there. And who might you be?

Foolish Heart, dressed like a flapper from the roaring twenties and perhaps speaking like Katharine Hepburn or Zsa Zsa Gabor. And I, my darling, am your Foolish Heart.

Abbey. Whos the sick kid in bed?

Foolish Heart, giving Abbey a playful poke. Shes you.

Lustful Body. And you, moppet, happen to be our Miserable Self.

Abbey, standing beside each of her parents, gazing up into their faces. Gee whillikers! Mumsey and Dadsey, dont pay any attention to me. Does that mean Im invisible or dead?

Crafty Mind. You have merely passed beyond the physical sight of youror more preciselyour parents, but dont worry about your last roundup. That will not occur until the milestones of your life are casting long shadows in the lurid sunset of your declining years.

Abbey. But I still feel sort of sort of

Crafty Mind. I believe the word youre searching for is incorporeal .

Abbey. I was thinking more along the lines of unreal sort of funny-like.

To the instrumental and/or a capella music (sung in ohhs, oos, and ahhs) of Images of the Bizarre and Unusual, Abbey and her companions dance lightly as though floating. Abbey occasionally waves a hand before her parents faces, but they take no notice. They stop dancing and listen as Mr. Buffington speaks.

Mr. Buffington. Theres Dr. Halls car turning into the drive.

Mrs. Buffington. Thank goodness hes come promptly.

Mr. Buffington exits the bedroom to meet Dr. Hall. Abbey and her companions rush to the window and peer out. Mrs. Buffington resumes her seat beside the bed.

Mr. Buffington, offstage. Hi. How were the roads?

Dr. Hall. They were treacherous, but with chains, the snow didnt slow me down.

After a pause, Mr. Buffington conducts Dr. Hall into the bedroom. Dr. Hall brushes snowflakes from his coat and hat before giving them to Mr. Buffington.

Dr. Hall. Well, well. This is quite a girl you have here. By the way, Abigail hasnt been playing with the Standish children across the street, has she? No, I dont suppose she would be that foolhardynot with the scarlet fever quarantine posted.

Mrs. Buffington. Oh no, Doctor, not once has she ventured across the street.

Dr. Hall listens to Abbeys heart and lungs with a stethoscope as Mr. and Mrs. Buffington study his face for indications of how serious Abbeys condition might be. Abbey and her companions gather around, looking from one face to the other. Dr. Hall occasionally mutters, Mmmmmmm, and gravely shakes his head.

Mrs. Buffington. Actually, Doctor, Abigail discovered the Christmas presents wed hidden, and ate a whole box of chocolates. We thought getting sick would be a good lesson, but shes become delirious and were worried. ( She starts to sob. )

Dr. Hall. There, there, Mrs. Buffington. Ill give Abigail something to settle her stomach, and then ( He looks down at Abbey with mock severity. ) And then it will be tea and toast for you, young lady. ( An echoing voice offstage represents Dr. Halls thoughts. ) The poor little kid should be in the hospital, but a long ambulance ride in the cold air might push her over the brink And with the snow, roads will be treacherous.

In the background, Dr. Hall and Mr. and Mrs. Buffington continue their conversation in pantomime as Abbey speaks to her companions. Dr. Hall reaches into his medical bag, produces a bottle, and holds up three fingers as he gives instructions. Mr. Buffington helps Dr. Hall on with his coat and accompanies him out of the room. Mrs. Buffington resumes her seat beside the bed.

Abbey, during the pantomime. I asked Mumsey and Dadsey if I could have some chocolate, and they said I could. But they meant just one piece.

Foolish Heart rolls her eyes upward. Lustful Body snickers. Crafty Mind tenderly holds the bridge of his nose as though in pain.

Abbey. Well, I didnt zactly ask. I just happened to find the box of chocolates Mumsey and Dadsey had put away for Christmas. But I meant to eat just one. Honest.

Foolish Heart. Now, now, dear, theres no need to tell falsehoods to us. After all, were part of yourself.

Lustful Body. There was no malice in her testing our gullibility. She merely used her tale as a refuge in time of trouble. Whats more, many childrenand even grown-ups for that mattertell falsehoods to their Crafty Minds, Foolish Hearts, and Lustful Bodies. It serves as a cushion against the harshness of reality. As the Ninth Commandment says, Thou shalt not tell a lie, except in time of trouble. Or to put it another way, trouble is the mother of invention.

Crafty Mind. Your insights have a few flaws. In time, ones Foolish Heart, Lustful Body, and Crafty Mind may come to believe such fabricationsand the results can be decidedly unwholesome. Habitual humbugging is a peccadillo little girls should studiously avoid. There is wisdom in the saying To thine own self be true. But pray continue, and this time with a bit more candor, if you please.

Abbey. Well then, I wanted to see what the filling was in another one and

Foolish Heart. And just what is your favorite filling, dear?

Abbey. I like the cherry centers, next comes nuts, after that comes coconut, and then solid chocolate. Well anyhow, I evenly spaced the remaining chocolates as a cover-up, but it just didnt look right, so I ate the whole top layer to make it look like it was a one-layer box.

Lustful Body. A single-decker, eh? Very resourceful. Were there any butter brickle centers with nuts on top?