Tionna Tee Smalls - Men Love Abuse: The Guide to Losing the Nice Girl Image & Getting the Man You Want!

Men Love Abuse

Published by Talk Dat Ish Books

Copyright 2012 by Tionna Tee Smalls

All Rights Reserved

Cover Image by Kermit Gresham of Beaumonde Fashion Group

No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever without written permission except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

This book is written as a source of information only. The information in this book has been carefully researched, and all efforts have been to ensure accuracy. The authors and the publisher assume no responsibility for any injuries suffered or damages or losses incurred during or as a result of following this information. All information should be carefully studied and clearly understood before taking any action based on the information or advice in this book.

For Information:

Talk Dat Ish Books

P.O. Box 502

Oceanside, NY 11572

POCKETBOOK SERIES

ISBN: 9780983055419

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-publication Data is available upon request.

For all the nice girls who finished last

Introduction

It was exactly a year ago, January 2011, when I released the second version of my award-winning book, Girl, Get Your Mind Right! I wrote the first rugged and raw version back in 2007 when I was young, broke, sad, and fed up with anything that had anything to do with a penis. Last years follow-up was a bit calmer, came more from a place of being helpful than hurtful and was simply a good book. This time, when I decided to start writing again, I took a strategic approach by introducing the Pocketbook Series. What the hell is the Pocketbook Series, you ask? Its a collection of smaller books that I am writing about all different kind of topics relating to love and life.

Sometimes, a topic needs its own book and the great thing about this series of books is the fact that the book itself is small enough to fit in your pocket or purse. So now you have no excuse not to bring the book everywhere you go!

I like to think of the Pocketbook series as my mix tapes. Girl, Get Your Mind Right! is the album, and now we have the mix tapes. Whaaam! Look out for many more of these mix tapes to drop in the near future.

Men Love Abuse I know, I know, I know, what a title. Its a bold statement, but hey, its true. I guess as a writer I can say my craft is mostly inspired by my life experiences and the experiences of those around me. I go throughand we all go throughall types of things, but as a writer, my goal is to figure out how to put my own twist on situations to help make you, the reader, relate and understand. I like to keep it real no matter what. I could care less if the topic is controversial or not; Im going to go hard as long as I believe its true.

When I say men love abuse I dont mean they love to get slapped up or punched in the face. Hey, I wouldnt spread that message because I know for sure that will lead you to a destructive place, so ladies, please keep your hands to yourself. I dont want you to get your ass whipped by a man just because you took the title of my book too literally. To me, the phrase men love abuse means that men love women who dont play with their asses, ignore them, and/or dog them out a.k.a. treat them like shit. Yes, the nice girl act or routine you put on to bag him is wrong, wrong, wrong. These 21st century men dont like nice girls and worse of all, they dont respect them.

In todays world, the nice girl finishes last and I truly wish this was opinion, but no honey, it is indeed fact. Being nice will only lead you to being walked all over and alone. Men need a challengesomeone who is going to give it to them and give it to them good. No more sitting at home wondering why hes not acting right or treating you the way he does. Its time to stop crying, get up, and make shit happen, ya hear me? Im not in any way saying go out and treat every dude messed up or walk around like a raging bitch because thats not the most productive approach. Im saying grow a back bone and let these dudes know that you are not going to take any mess from them no matter how good they look, how much money they trick, or how wide that penis is (ooh, I just had a moment).

I want you to sit and think about all of the times you were nice to a man. Think about all of the time you spent trying to show him that you cared about him or adored him and that you wanted to be with him despite how badly he may have treated you. I have never been too nice of a person to my men (because Mama taught me early on), but I do remember the times I did budge on my bitchiness and I got fucked over with no Vaseline (ouch). I even look at my friends who are career-driven women, who make more money than their man and their mans mom put together, and how nice they act to these cornball ass dudes who dont have shit (no house, no car, no benefits, no future) and see their results: PLAYED.

Witnessing this has made me realize that there is a conversation we are not having in the female community and that conversation is how to act toward a man when you want him to treat you right or when you want him to appreciate you when you break your neck to be nice to his ass.

Sad but true, over the last few years women have lost their touch when it comes to men. This is because women have become very desperate over the years, which is making it hard for good women with standards. Theyre having sex with every dude who smiles their way and they are letting these corny dudes talk reckless to them. So now its time to take our power back and let these dudes know that were not having it anymore. If abuse is what his ass wants, then abuse is what hes going to get.

Women tend to get real corny and weak once a man swings some dick and throws a dollar or two their way. All I do when I see a woman go through that is shake my head in utter disgust. Shit, I cant judge because we have all been there, but we cant keep playing ourselves; ladies we gots to do better. As I always say, how many times are you going to get hit by a car before you learn that your ass better start looking both ways?

This is your life and I cant tell you what to do, but I can give my advice: if you are going to play the game, play the game right and end up with a prize whether it is a good man, lover, companion, or friend. You should try to end your nights (when dealing with a man) with a smile on your face and not a frown. If you are sick, mad, lonely, or sad, then youve lost the game and you have to take a break, analyze your situation and then come back ready to play.

Author, TV/Radio Personality Steve Harvey says, Act like a Lady, Think like a Man. I say, F all of that. If you want to win against these heartless mofo men, you better love like a man and fuck like a woman, bottom line. It sounds harsh now, but as we move on further in this conversation, you will better understand. So hold on because this will be quite a ride. Take off your smile and put on your big girl panties because your love life is about to change, and you, my sister, are going to get the man of your dreams. All you have to do is remember that a man is not your Jesus and you have to be willing to lose the dude you are currently with if he doesnt get his ass together.

The Problems

The Solutions

Nice Girls

I have come across many different women with all kinds of relationship dilemmas over the past few years since Ive become a love coach. I have met women who were single for almost a decade, women who were so depressed by the actions of a man that their hair fell out, and women whose husbands left them for their friend, and all I could say is damn. Hearing stuff like that has really changed my perspective when it comes down to relationships and Im not saying in a positive way.