ULTIMATE MAKEOVER
Copyright 2016 by Carrie Gress
Published by Beacon Publishing
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever without permission except in the case of brief quotations in critical articles or reviews.
Scripture texts in this work are taken from the New American Bible, revised edition 2010, 1991, 1986, 1970 Confraternity of Christian Doctrine, Washington, D.C. and are used by permission of the copyright owner. All Rights Reserved. No part of the New American Bible may be reproduced in any form without permission in writing from the copyright owner.
Excerpts first appeared in: CatholicVote.org : Can We Have It All? Is the Wrong Question, September 23, 2013; Catholic World Report: A Brief History of Same-Sex Marriage and Why Catholics Are Losing the War Against It, February 13, 2014; Motherhood: The Ultimate Makeover, November 11, 2014.
ISBN (HC): 978-1-942611-71-4
ISBN (SC): 978-1-942611-72-1
eISBN: 978-1-942611-73-8
Design by: Jenny Miller
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Names: Gress, Carrie, author.
Title: Ultimate makeover : the transforming power of motherhood / Carrie Gress.
Description: North Palm Beach, FL : Beacon Pub., 2016. | Includes bibliographical references and index.
Identifiers: LCCN 2016015168 (print) | LCCN 2016016008 (ebook) | ISBN 9781942611714 (hardcover : alk. paper) | ISBN 9781942611721 (softcover : alk. paper) | ISBN 9781942611738 (ebook)
Subjects: LCSH: Motherhood--Religious aspects--Christianity.
Classification: LCC BV4529.18 .G754 2016 (print) | LCC BV4529.18 (ebook) | DDC 248.8/431--dc23
LC record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2016015168
Printed in the United States of America [1]
For my mother and my children,
with gratitude for your lessons,
large and small.
Table of Contents
Foreword
From my experience as a mother, grandmother, and founder of Project Rachel, I have spent most of my adult life thinking about what it means to be a mother and the unique gift it is from God. There is nothing fiercer and more beautiful than the love a mother has for her child.
The women I have encountered who have experienced a pregnancy loss have been a stirring testament to just how profoundly the reality of biological motherhood is imprinted in our bodies. These women never met their children, and yet they mourn them, miss them, and suffer from loss no matter the circumstances. These women, rather than simply going along with their lives as they were before the healing process, often become the most outspoken voices for life and the gift of motherhood.
To engage in motherhood today is a radical choice, a choice not held in esteem by many. The fruits of motherhood, however, are powerful. I have seen again and again that motherhood moves us beyond ourselves. Each child teaches us something new about ourselves and helps us to grow from self-centered young women into wise and loving mothers. Many women I have spoken with are surprised by the virtues that have been honed through mothering, such as humility, courage, temperance, compassion, self-sacrifice, generosity, meekness, and patience. It is easy to miss these interior treasures in the day-to-day chaos.
Ultimate Makeover is an outside-the-box view of motherhood that offers a new perspective for not merely surviving but thriving as a mother today. It examines both the challenges of motherhood and the many hidden rewards it offers by looking at the vices and virtues that come naturally to women. The book looks carefully at how the vocation of motherhood is so much more than a job; it is rather a unique calling from God to go outside ones self. Both biological and spiritual motherhood call us to reach beyond ourselves to connect with and affirm others spiritually, psychologically, and humanly.
My own definition of motherhood is women who are the practical responders to any situation. It is not limited to biological motherhood, but to any woman who is able to see the needs of others and respond in a way that is helpful, healing, affirming, and life-giving.
This book is an invitation to discover the wonder of motherhoodto realize that, as women, our call to nurture is a major gift from God and a large part of the feminine genius that Pope St. John Paul II spoke about in his 1995 letter to women.
Pope Francis, who has spoken frequently of the important vocation of mothers, recently said:
Mothers are an antidote to the spread of a certain self-centeredness, a decline in openness, generosity and concern for others. In this sense, motherhood is more than childbearing: it is a life choice, entailing sacrifice, respect for life, and commitment to passing on those human and religious values which are essential for a healthy society. A society without mothers would be an inhuman society, because mothers are always able to witness, even in the worst moments, tenderness, dedication, moral strength.
Motherhood is a special call from God to imitate Mary and her yesher fiatto love even when it hurts. It is not always wine and rosesfar from itbut something more wonderful and important. Motherhood is the essential thread that weaves together the very fabric of our society.
Ultimate Makeover offers a whole new way to look at being a woman, illuminating the best we have to offer. Women have their own unique callinga beautiful calling, as Edith Stein expresses so well:
The soul of a woman must therefore be expansive and open to all human beings;
it must be quiet so that no small flame will be extinguished by storm winds;
warm so as not to benumb fragile buds;
clear, so that no vermin will settle in dark corners and recesses;
self-contained, so that no invasions from without can imperil the inner life;
empty of itself and also of its body, so that the entire person is readily at the disposal of every call.
The following pages offer an examination of motherhood that is realistic and honest; Carrie Gress does not skirt the challenges and the hard times. More than a survival guide, this book shows how motherhood really is the ultimate makeover, transforming mothers into wise and radiant women who provide untold value to their families and society as a whole.
Vicki Thorn, founder of Project Rachel
INTRODUCTION
Ideas So Old They Are New
Imagine you were offered a makeover that not only promised to make you more beautiful, but shaved off the rough edges of your personality and helped you gain control of your emotions, better manage your relationships, and grow in wisdom. And what if it could actually make you happy? Not waiting-for-happy. Not looking-in-all-the-wrong-places-happy. Not Ive-given-up-on-happy. But truly, deeply happythe kind of abiding happiness that isnt shaken by changes in fortune, life challenges, death of loved ones, or illness. Sounds too good to be true, huh? And yet, this is the makeover every woman is handed with the gift of motherhood. Oh, yes, you also get a darling little bundle, but the real rewards are just waiting to be claimed. I know, it sounds like an empty sales pitch, but bear with me.
Motherhood is hard. There is no way around it. I didnt realize just how hard until I started having my own children. It is the most difficult thing Ive ever doneharder than learning four new languages, harder than writing a dissertation, harder than balancing full-time work and school. For a long time, however, I lived with the expectation that somehow being a mom was going to get easier. At every stage, I hoped that maybe next week I would get more sleep, that the endless messes would abate, or that the little battles through the mundane would subside.
