Infinite Ideas - How to be Sexy: Seduction Tips for Women

How to be sexy

Seduction tips for women

Infinite Ideas with Helena Frith Powell

Previously published in paperback as Be incredibly sexy

6. Blooming sexy

Some women see being pregnant as an excuse not to have sex. Madness. Sex when youre pregnant is brilliant. And you can look eye-poppingly sexy too.

I once went to a party where I saw a heavily pregnant woman who was wearing a very simple black dress. She looked amazing better than all the other women there. She was elegant, blooming and beautiful.

Pregnant women have been taught to hide their bump and stay at the back of the crowd until the baby has come out. Things are rapidly changing; there are whole shops dedicated to pregnant women, devoted to making you look good. I loved being pregnant, I was careful not to put on excess weight, but I think theres nothing quite as lovely as a beautiful bump dressed well. And staying sexy while pregnant will make your whole pregnancy experience more enjoyable.

The first thing you should remember is that there will come a stage when your normal clothes will not look good any more. You just have to accept maternity clothes as a fact of life. The specialised maternity shops can be expensive so try the big department stores, many of which have maternity sections; or buy over-sized clothes from charity shops (my favourite hunting ground). You could also try the Internet where there are lots of websites vying for your business. Some have really glamorous ranges that can be purchased online. You should look upon your pregnancy as an opportunity to dress up and show off that bump, not hide it. I promise, lots of men find it really sexy, and your partner certainly will.

So, sex and the pregnant woman. The first thing to say is that it is perfectly safe for you and your baby. I dont advise swinging from chandeliers as you go into the third trimester, but most things are admissible. It is also a good excuse to experiment with some new positions.

There are several positions for pregnant women that are both comfortable and safe. So if you havent already tried them, go for it.

• Position one: Woman on top. Lower yourself onto your partner, either facing him or facing his feet. Many women find their nipples are incredibly sensitive when theyre pregnant, so if youre facing him, make sure he kisses them.

• Position two: The classic missionary position obviously doesnt work with a bump, but this one does. You lie on your back, knees drawn back with your feet resting on your partners chest, or with your legs straight up and resting against your partner (a good hamstring stretch this one). Your partner kneels between your legs to enter you, so there is no weight on your stomach. You might find it more comfortable with a pillow under your bottom.

• Position three: Side by side. You and your partner lie side by side, facing each other. You can drape your leg over your partners body. This is not really very practical in the third trimester as the bump gets in the way.

• Position four: Spooning, on the other hand, works throughout. You lie on your side, in a curled position. Your partner lies behind you and enters you from behind. Penetration is shallow, so this can be a comfortable position during late pregnancy.

• Position five: From behind. You are on all fours on the bed (or wherever), leaning down onto pillows with your partner kneeling and entering you from behind. Or, try bending over the bed (supported by pillows) with your partner standing and entering from behind. This is what is medically termed a maximum penetration position, so do tell your partner if it gets painful.

• Position six: Sitting. In this position, you straddle your partner while he is sitting on a sturdy, comfortable chair or on the edge of the bed. You can also sit in an armchair, upright or leaning back slightly, with your legs around your partner, who is kneeling in front of you.

And you thought being pregnant signalled the end of your sex life? There will be no shutting up shop early now. And remember good sex will make you feel and look sexier.

How did it go?

QI thought sex when youre pregnant was bad for you? Isnt it a bit disrespectful towards the baby?

AGet a grip. I remember when I had orgasms during pregnancy the baby would do a little somersault and my whole tummy would tighten into a mini-contraction. It was a wonderful feeling. Remember that if youre happy then so is your baby. The chemicals released during orgasm relax you and make you happy. That inner peace is transmitted to your baby. Dont forget that you have a relationship to maintain, as well as a baby to carry. The little newborn wants to come into a good relationship that is alive in every sense.

QI am now about to pop the thought of intercourse is just too much, what other options are there?

ADont forget, sex is not just about intercourse. Try oral sex, mutual masturbation, massaging and so on.

Heres an idea for you

Rather than hiding your bump, accentuate it. A very chic way to do this is to wrap a brightly coloured scarf around it and tie it in a knot to one side. Or wear a short T-shirt and low-cut maternity jeans or a sarong (obviously only when its warm outside!). Try a lovely slinky (stretchy) dress that hugs the contours of your bump, but make sure its comfortable, its very hard to feel sexy when youre focusing on trying to breathe.

Defining idea

Everything you see I owe to spaghetti.

SOPHIA LOREN

7. Literal appeal

Use books to boost your own sex appeal. Model yourself on your sexiest literary hero or heroine work out what it is that makes him or her so attractive and emulate.

Heathcliff was the first love of my life.

I read Wuthering Heights aged about 15 and fell in love with the swarthy, brooding hero.

When I was at university I read Riders, Rivals and Polo and fell deeply in love with Rupert Campbell-Black, Jilly Coopers most successful and irresistible creation. These men, much more than old boyfriends, have stayed with me for ever. Im sure I was attracted to my husband in part because hes called Rupert. At university I had a series of totally doomed relationships with Byronic (and some might add moronic) characters.

So why is it that we love a literary hero? It has to be said I am not the only adolescent to fall in love with Heathcliff. It is easy to fall in love with a character in a book. You can attribute any qualities you like to them. You have a lot to do with the way they look as well. So what makes a sexy hero or heroine? A lot of the same things that apply to real people. Intelligence, charm, mystery and charisma. But there is often an element of cruelty too: the cad seems to do well in literature.

Take Rochester, the hero of Jane Eyre. Although he comes good in the end, the facts are he has a wife hidden in the attic and is incredibly bad tempered. Rupert Campbell-Black is a cad personified, he lies and cheats his way into every bed in the county. Eugene Onegin, the hero in Pushkins poem of the same name, throws Tatianas innocent love back in her face. These are men most of us would run a mile from in real life but from the safety of the living room chair we can fantasise about these passionate types.

So in literature the brooding, Byronic, sometimes Gothic hero rules. In terms of heroines, the sexy ones are harder to define. Ellen Olenska, for example, in Edith Whartons The Age of Innocence, is vulnerable, incredibly beautiful, and on the road to perdition. This seems to be a pattern heroines follow; just consider Anna Karenina, Emma Bovary, Lara Antipova in Dr Zhivago, Tess in Tess of the DUrbervilles and youll see what I mean. So in summary, the men are strong (with a hint of evil) and brooding, the women doomed and beautiful. Too clichd for words but in order to attract a lover, projecting a hint of these qualities wouldnt go amiss.