Marianne Schnall - Dare to Be You: Inspirational Advice for Girls on Finding Your Voice, Leading Fearlessly, and Making a Difference

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Copyright 2019 by Marianne Schnall

All rights reserved, including the right to reproduce this book or portions thereof in any form whatsoever. For information, address Simon & Schuster Subsidiary Rights Department, 1230 Avenue of the Americas, New York, NY 10020.

All quotes and material included in this book are from Marianne Schnalls exclusive interviews. Some individual quotes were excerpted from interviews that originally appeared on CNN.com, Feminist.com, The Huffington Post, Omega Womens Leadership Center, ForbesWomen, and Womens Media Center; some also appeared in What Will It Take to Make a Woman President?: Conversations about Women, Leadership, and Power (Seal Press, 2013) and Daring to Be Ourselves: Influential Women Share Insights on Courage, Happiness, and Finding Your Own Voice (Blue Mountain Press, 2010).

First Tiller Press trade paperback edition October 2019

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Interior design by Jaime Putorti

Illustrations by Georgia Morrissey

Jacket design by Georgia Morrissey

Author photo by Franco Vogt Photography

Library of Congress Control Number: 2019947283

ISBN 978-1-9821-3349-8

ISBN 978-1-9821-3350-4 (ebook)

TO MY AMAZING DAUGHTERS, LOTUS AND JAZMIN, AND TO ALL THE OTHER INCREDIBLE GIRLS AROUND THE WORLD:

MAY YOU DARE TO BE ALL YOU CAN BE.

INTRODUCTION

I n my career as a journalist and author, I have been fortunate to interview some of the most renowned thought leaders, celebrities, political figures, artists, and activists of our time, particularly on the topic of how we can empower women and girls to be leaders and forces of change. While those interviews were meant to serve the public function of having these inspiring figures share their wise insights and life lessons with the world, the experience of doing those interviews had a huge personal effect on me as well. They have been a pivotal part of my own leadership journey and evolving sense of self.

When I was a young woman, I, like so many of my peers, was thoroughly indoctrinated by the messages I received from society and the media, which whittled away at my self-esteem every step of the way. I thought my most important role was to be popular, fit in, be a perfect good girl, and look thin, stylish, and beautiful while doing it. That resulted in not only very low self-worth and an eating disorder (the majority of girls in my friend group had them, too) but also ultimately losing touch with my true self. It would take me many years, into my late twenties, to even begin to realize this. But through my work and writing, I slowly gained insight into my own voice and power.

I had an Aha! moment while I was interviewing actress Jane Fonda about her book My Life So Far and she confessed to me that it wasnt until shortly after her sixty-second birthday, after the breakup of her last marriage, that she felt she came into her true voice and power. I related to that feeling! My first thought was: Thank God we are both feeling centered in our power! And then: At thirty? At sixty? That seems much too late! How can we avoid that loss of touch with our authentic selves happening in the first place? Those types of realizations and questions have fueled my work to inspire women and girlsso that hopefully it wont take them as long as it took me (and Jane) to find their voice and own their power.

As I have conducted countless interviews about what it will take to get more women to step into positions of leadership, one point always gets repeated: It starts with making sure girls see themselves as leaders in the first place. Our sense of self, our sense of purpose, and our voice develop when were very young, so it is crucial for all girls to learn early on that their voice matters, that they should embrace the uniqueness of who they are and believe in their dreams and the important contributions they can offer to the world.

I have seen what is possible firsthand through raising my two amazing daughters, Jazmin and Lotus. Having grown up learning about the challenges I faced as a young womancombined with having the voices of incredible women like Gloria Steinem, Maya Angelou, Oprah Winfrey, Jane Goodall, Eve Ensler, and many other change makers piped through the airwaves in our housemy daughters have developed such a sturdy and centered sense of themselves. They embrace who they are, and they know they can accomplish anything they set their mind to. I am so proud of them and their desire to make a difference in the world.

That is why I created this book. Through sharing some of my favorite quotes, insights, and valuable lessons from my interviews with dozens of influential women, I want to reaffirm for girls like you that you are powerful and capable and, most important, that your voice is needed. Your dreams, your visions, your ideas, your solutions, your art, your writing, your leadershipwhatever it is you feel called to bring into the worldare valued and can make a positive impact. Dare to Be You is a reminder to resist the negative, disempowering messages you will no doubt receive from society and the media, and to listen to and value your own voice and inner compass. Instead of being driven to fit in or conform, to be liked or be popular, or to be just like everyone else, I encourage you to embrace and celebrate the uniqueness and specialness of who you are.

When I asked activist Gloria Steinem what message she wanted to instill in girls, she answered: That each of them is already a unique and valuable person when shes born; every human being is. Despite all the pressures that try to make girls and women measure their worth based on their looks or appearance (if only I could get back all those hours I spent feeling insecure, knowing I would never measure up to the perfect pictures I saw in magazines), what matters most is the beauty of who you are inside: your spirit, your smarts, and the unique gifts and insights that only you can bring to the world. You are perfect just as you are.

Ultimately, my hope is that this book will embolden you with the confidence and courage to be your full, unapologetic, fierce selfand to live a life that brings you fulfillment, meaning, and joy while also positively impacting the community and world you live in.

BELIEVE IN YOURSELF

B elieve in yourself. No one is going to give you the tools to make you the success that you want to be, so youve got to find it inside you.