Kelly Doust - The Power Age: A celebration of lifes second act

F rom a very early age I always wanted to be old. Or older, at least. Age seemed to me to confer the attributes that made life worth living, and which childhood and adolescence sorely missed. Being older meant two things to me: experience and freedom, and I wanted them both so badly I could almost scream.

Now, when I discuss this with my eleven-year-old daughter, she hoots with laughter at the thought of growing up, screwing up her freckled nose in distaste. She loves being a kid. When I ask her why, she says that being an adult is boring and stressful, and shes right in one respect: it does come hand-in-hand with some fairly annoying downsides, like mortgages and divorce, and routine colonoscopies, and realising that your face takes at least several hours to wake up after you do (gone, your dewy-faced visage, replaced with skin that seems to crease like origami paper when you sleep). But that makes the moments of joy more prized and sweet. Life has greater poignancy when you realise theres less of it to live with each passing year.

Our culture positively deifies youth you need only look at Instagram to see that, or clock that most of the models in fashion magazines are still in their teens. Someone set the match with rock n roll and the Youth Quake of the 1960s, and the young things have been burning brightly ever since.

Thank goodness, the tide finally seems to be turning. Because being in the later years of your life has never looked so good. The World Health Organization agrees, calling population ageing one of humanitys greatest triumphs. But it is the way in which modern women are redefining themselves as they grow older that is most thrilling for those approaching or well into the swing of midlife themselves.

Being older is different to the way it was fifty, or even twenty, years ago.

Being older is different to the way it was fifty, or even twenty, years ago. Your Nans voluminous flowered housedress? A thing of the past. Sitting on the porch whistling and watching the world go by? I dont think so. Women middle aged and older are killing it. Some look like Ari Seth Cohens cool and kooky Advanced Style cohorts. Others cock two fingers at the establishment before theyll conform to anyones idea of femininity, and are all the better for it. (Dame Vivienne Westwood, Oprah and Patti Smith, were looking at you.)

Women over fifty are amongst the most successful of todays entrepreneurs, but theyre also the fastest-growing group of homeless people in otherwise affluent nations, so its not all bread and roses. With the anti-anti-ageing trend in full swing, and older women in particular more visible than ever in public life, things are changing and they sorely needed to. We are in more positions of power than ever before. Its about time. The legacy this is leaving for younger women is profound and world-shifting.

I remember the phrase Dont wish your life away, trotted out whenever I was itching with impatience to do those things considered well beyond my years. Because youth is everything, especially for a woman, or so were told. Were in the prime of our lives until we hit 35 (some would say younger, as Picasso did of his 17-year-old lover, Marie-Thrse Walter, when he was 42!), then its all downhill from there. We know this for the absolute rubbish it is, and yet the youth bias persists.

Now that Ive hit my forties, and am starting to step into my own power age, I can tell you that what I long suspected is true: being a grown woman is more than its cracked up to be (well, most of the time). Entering your second act is not so scary as it once seemed. In fact, it can be pretty fabulous. Its truly exciting to find out who you are and evolve into the person you were always meant to be. This is a journey of unfolding that simply cant happen overnight. It takes years and years of trial and error, and life lessons, and loss, to come home to ourselves and figure out who we are, what inspires us, and what makes us tick. A few wrinkles and saggy bits seem a paltry compromise for this treasure chest full of riches.

Entering your second act is not so scary as it once seemed.

Theres something quite depressing about those who are desperate to hold onto their youth. Of course there are things to mourn as we get older, but it seems sad to focus on what weve lost, rather than what we have also gained. I have noticed the ageing process in my own body, but am happier than Ive ever been, and more comfortable in my own skin. Becoming stuck on the external is to miss the point of why were here. But retaining a youthful sense of vigour and curiosity about the world around us will never go out of style or look ridiculous. Indeed, they are two of the most vital elements to ageing well.

Not all older people are wise, and there are younger souls who possess wisdom well beyond their years, but I have sought the advice of wise older women for as long as I can remember. The One Who Knows, old La Que Sabe, The Wild Woman, as Clarissa Pinkola Ests calls them in Women Who Run With the Wolves . Women who have shared with me so many nuggets of truth, and provided a template for the sort of woman I wish to become. I look to them for inspiration, wondering what guides them, about the experiences that have shaped their lives, and the sort of imprint they hope to leave on the world when theyre gone. Im interested to know what they think holds most meaning, and consider the lives theyve built and choices theyve made like a student, all the while trying to make sense of my own desire to cultivate a life less ordinary. I love these women fiercely for showing me the way to a journey of becoming underpinned by true passion and fearlessness.

I was looking for this book long before I decided to write it. Where was the alternative narrative, I wondered? The one that asserted its great to grow old and step into your power? Not just great, but the best . So many of us fall prey to the idea that we need to stay young, but the very best women have always worn their vintage with pride and welcomed new adventures with open arms, even in decline.