Gareth May - 150 Things Every Man Should Know

Copyright 2009, 2011 by Gareth May

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Originally published in Great Britain in 2009 by Square Peg

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

May, Gareth.

150 things every man should know / Gareth May.

p. cm.

1. MenLife skills guides. 2. MenConduct of life. 3. MenHumor. I. Title.

HQ1090.M3846 2011

646.70081dc22

2011003718

Printed and bound in Canada.

TR 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

Dedication

For my Dadthe man Ive always strived to emulate
although Im still holding out for the adoption papers.

Whether you are a fishermans wife or a bachelor running late for the office, the art of ironing a shirt is one which, once mastered, never fades, unlike a cheap short-sleever bought on sale. Heres how to do it the good old-fashioned way.

To ensure the best iron finish,hang the shirt up on a hanger with the top button done up as this replicates the shape of the shirt when you wear it.

The best time to do the ironing is on a Sunday night, and to iron all the shirts for the week in one go. Itll be faster, as youll get on a roll after the first one or two, and you wont have to do it again for a whole week. Stick on the radio or some football on TVas usually nothing much is happening on the field, leaving you free to get on with the ironing.

Switch the iron on and allow to warm. If its a steam iron, fill the water reservoir first. Most shirts are made of cotton and iron better when slightly damp and at a high heat, so select steam and the highest heat to give a crisper finish. If your shirt is dry, spray with water, roll up and leave to rest for ten minutes or so. If its a dark color, iron inside out to save the brightness, and if it is white make sure the iron is clean so you dont mark the innocent pallor of your shirt. Heres how to iron out those creases like a pro.

Downing a pint in a bar can often lead to all subsequent drinks being bought for you. But get it wrong and you can find yourself covered in vomit and laughed at by strangers on the street. So if you want to take it on dont try to be a hero.

First of all choose the beer yourself and never agree to down a pint of cideran amateur downers mistake which could prove lethal. Dont go for something too strong, too cold, or too fizzy and let it settle for a while on the bar. When its time, approach your challenge and your pint like a man. Employ a little theatrics, smack your lips and limber up as you get yourself in the zone. Pick up the pint, tip your head back, and slowly but surely take mouthful after mouthful until its all down. Dont be tempted to gulp or hurryyoull only panic, stop breathing and choke, death-by-lager style.

Breathe calmly, focus on the task in hand, and block out all distractions, Zen-like. Dont worry if people tell you to hurry up, just do it in your own time; a pints a pint no matter how long it takes to go down. Pub folklore spins yarns of people who can just open their throats and effectively down the pint in one go without swallowing. Desert tribes drink their water like this as swallowing uses up too much energy, but remember, youre not in a desert tribe now so take it slow and reap the rewards.

Men made walls to keep out armies, women made bras to keep out men. But those walls have been breached and now, with one hand, those bras will be removed.

First off, mid-kiss, slip your left hand under her top and find the back of her bra. Run your fingertips along the strap until you find the 1 1/42 in. of rough fabric situated in the middle. This is the clasp youre going to have to undo; it is made up of hooks and eyelets. Your job is to move the hooks from the left to the right, so slide your middle finger underneath the right side of the clasp, with your nail facing her skin. Next, pulling the strap out ever so slightlytact is required here, flicking a girl in the back will get you slappedget your thumb and place it on the other side of the clasp, over, not underneath, the strap. Finally, rub your thumb and middle finger together like youre clicking your fingers and the clasp should come undone. Take a bow; the bra is defeated. You can now move on to even greater goals, like removing her underwear with your teeth!