Gareth May - How to Drink Snake Blood in Vietnam: And 101 Other Things Every Interesting Man Should Know

Text Copyright 2014 Gareth May. Design Copyright 2014 Ulysses Press and its licensors. All rights reserved. Any unauthorized duplication in whole or in part or dissemination of this edition by any means (including but not limited to photocopying, electronic devices, digital versions, and the Internet) will be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law.

First published as Man of the World in Great Britain in 2012 by Square Peg, a division of Random House.

Published in the U.S. by:

ULYSSES PRESS

P.O. Box 3440

Berkeley, CA 94703

www.ulyssespress.com

ISBN: 978-1-61243-333-2

Library of Congress Control Number: 2013957327

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Acquisitions Editor: Kelly Reed

Managing Editor: Claire Chun

U.S. Editors: Lauren Harrison, Elyce Berrigan-Dunlop

Front cover design: Double R Design

Cover illustrations: front SS1001/shutterstock.com; back HuHu/shutterstock.com

Interior illustrations: see page 255

Layout: Jake Flaherty, Lindsay Tamura

IMPORTANT NOTE TO READERS: Trademarks of businesses and food brands mentioned in this book are used for informational purposes only. No sponsorship or endorsement by, or affiliation with, the trademark owners is claimed or suggested by the author or publisher.

CONTENTS

If only the characters in the hit TV series Lost had known how to get rescued from a desert island. Wed all have been spared all the flash-forwards and hydrogen bombs of the final interminable episodes. But not everyone is so clever.

Dont bother writing SOS in the sandthe international sign of distress is in fact a triangle. Gather rocks, uproot plants and build a giant triangle for passing aircraft to see. Better still, build three firesone for each point of the triangle.

Once your fires are burning, throw on a bunch of live, green plants and youve got yourself large plumes of gray smokethe perfect signal to attract any passing ships. Chucking any stray copper coins on the fire will lead to eye-catching green flames.

Encourage curiosity by wearing bright clothesthe perfect excuse to rifle through that suitcase of womens clothing that washed up on the beach.

Found a makeup mirror in your, ahem, man bag? Reflect the sun from the highest point of the island to attract any potential rescuers.

Leave a member of your party at one spot on the island, preferably at an access point such as the beach. Should anyone see your distress signals and come to your rescue, you wont miss your chance to escape.

During World War II, Allied leader Winston Churchill met American President Franklin D. Roosevelt and Chinese General Chiang Kai-shek in a strategy meeting at this luxury hotel for what is today known as the Cairo Conference. Churchill was so taken with the view of the pyramids of Giza from his suite (room 623) that, apparently, he slept with his curtains open.

French impressionist Claude Monet painted up to seventy cityscape canvases of London from this very room. While in London, Monet would travel around the city, a blur of brush and canvas, touching up his masterpieces at different points of the day to capture the perfect light as it spread across the famous water of his beloved Thames.

Inspiring a writer of horror stories isnt exactly the pinnacle of hoteliers dreams, but add the greatest of them all and a Stanley Kubrick masterpiece into the mix and perhaps theyd run the risk of the negative paranormal publicity. Stephen King developed the plot of The Shining from a strong sense of fear while staying herewaking from a nightmare, he sketched out the story in a jiffy. Not missing a trick, the hotel runs the 1980 Jack Nicholson classic on a loop. Heeeeres room service!

In early 1969, John Lennon and Yoko Ono sent acorns to various heads of state as a symbol for planting and growing new hope. In a follow-up stunt, using the publicity from their honeymoon during March 2531, the famous lovers held a bed-in as a peace protest amid the backdrop of American civil rights unrest and the Vietnam War. The international press were invited to the room every day to prove the pair were sticking to their principles and not just watching daytime TV.

After a tumultuous twenty-eight-month relationship between the Sex Pistols bassist Sid Vicious and groupie Nancy Spungen, on October 12, 1978, the latter was found dead in room 100. Arrested for murder, Sid never confessed to the crime and ended up dying of a heroin overdose before going to trial. The case has never been solved and Pistols fans the world over insist on Sids innocence, fingering a drug dealer who had visited the room earlier in the evening as their main suspect of choice.

The British love a good linefind the Fountain of Youth and theyd still conspire to form a line. The Brits hate people who cut and the rules of standing in line are a stern art worth remembering. Cut the line and prepare to feel the wrath of one hundred subdued but furtive reprimandsall very British and suppressed, of course, and muttered under the breath, never to the culprits face.

If there are two of you in line, it is acceptable to leave one of you waiting while the other disappears for a bathroom break; but, generally speaking, leaving the line will result in your having to join it again, at the back. Rarely can you leave your position and return to it minutes later.

Sometimes, if you ask the person behind you nicely and the vibe is right, you may be able to step out of the line and be let back into the same spot, but, generally speaking, this is frowned upon by the line police, i.e. everyone in the British Isles.

In the United States, the same rules apply. However, leaving the line for a few minutesbecause youre caught short or need to step out to make a phone call (but who does that nowadays?)is considered perfectly acceptable as long as you inform the people in front and behind you that this is what you intend to do and ask them to hold your space. At the train station, if a train is leaving, people often cut in line to get a ticket before the train departs.

In Italy, and the majority of Europe for that matter, people will not form a line and the whole process of getting a taxi, for example, is a bit of a free-for-all.

In Spain and Cuba an actual line rarely forms. Instead store clerks or taxi drivers merely ask who is the first in line and everyone else waits for their turn to be served.

In Germany, priority is given to the elderly, who are often pushed right to the front of the line without even the slightest whiff of mutiny.

In former Communist states, particularly Eastern European countries, waiting in long lines was the bane of many peoples lives. Family members and friends would very often swap positions over several nightseven days at timesjust to make sure they could claim their rations or get the last roll of toilet paper before the store closed again due to a lack of supplies. Not surprisingly, in these countries today people take little notice of lines and will very often cut in line, even in fancy places such as the opera. Line dodging is not the norm, however, and clerks and office attendants often refuse to serve those who do itin general, if theres a line, youd best get in it.