IV Thurston - Coping with Sexual Harassment

1. CHAPTER 1
   What Is Sexual Harassment?
2. CHAPTER 2
   If Youre a Victim of Sexual Harassment
3. CHAPTER 3
   How to Help Yourself
4. CHAPTER 4
   Technology and Harassment
5. CHAPTER 5
   How to Be an Ally

Published in 2018 by The Rosen Publishing Group, Inc.

29 East 21st Street, New York, NY 10010

Copyright 2018 by The Rosen Publishing Group, Inc.

First Edition

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form without permission in writing from the publisher, except by a reviewer.

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Names: Thurston, IV, author.

Title: Coping with sexual harassment / IV Thurston.

Description: New York, NY: Rosen Publishing, 2018. | Series: Coping | Includes bibliographical references and index. | Audience: Grades 7-12.

Identifiers: ISBN 9781508176954 (library bound) | ISBN 9781508178538 (paperback) Subjects: LCSH: Sexual harassmentJuvenile literature. | Sexual abuse victims Juvenile literature.

Classification: LCC HQ1237.T48 2018 | DDC 305.3dc23 Manufactured in the United States of America

CONTENTS

CHAPTER 1
What Is Sexual Harassment?

CHAPTER 2
If Youre a Victim of Sexual Harassment

CHAPTER 3
How to Help Yourself

CHAPTER 4
Technology and Harassment

CHAPTER 5
How to Be an Ally

INTRODUCTION

I oday is the day. Youve been planning a day out with your friends for weeks. Standing in front of the mirror, getting ready, you think about how you wouldnt have been allowed to go out with your friends without a chaperone even just a year ago. You and your friends have been waiting to see this movie since you streamed the trailer. This is growing up. You brush your hair for the millionth time and decide you are ready.

Finally, you see the car turn the corner and you are already on the street before the car stops. The car is filled with all of your best friends. Youve known them since you were in elementary school, when you were a little kid. You laugh and scream and sing on the way to the theater.

After the movie, the real fun beginsgoing to get some food! Going out with your friends to get some food is the best. No parents. You can order whatever you want. And you can talk about the movie.

As you walk over to the mall, a car drives by and slows down. You look over. The window is open. An older man, about your dads age, sticks his head out the window and yells at you and your friends: Hey! You girls are sexy!!! Want a ride?

He drives off.

One of your friends asks, What did he say?!?

I cant repeat it, you reply.

What a perv! another shouts.

Finally, at the food court with your friends, the french fries dont taste as good. No one is laughing anymore. You know they are just words, but they hurt. And he was so much older than you. Why would anyone say that? You dont know how to feel anymore, but you do know that your day out has been ruined.

What do you do? Whom do you tell? Your parents? What can they even do about it?

Your parents pick up you and your friends. You are not the same excited group that went out earlier.

You dad asks, Something happen? You are awfully quiet.

Your best friend, who always has the quickest answers, says, The movie was just disappointing, you know?

These teenagers have been sexually harassed. Sadly, they are not alone. According to Stop Street Harassment, in the United States alone, 65 percent of women have experienced sexual harassment on the streetand that percentage is even higher in some countries! Clearly, sexual harassment is a major problem in societies all around the world. This resource will help you understand not only what sexual harassment is, but also what to do about it if it happens to you or someone you know.

CHAPTER ONE

L egally, sexual harassment is defined as unwelcome sexual advances, requests for sexual favors, and other verbal or physical actions of a sexual nature. Although not recognized in federal courts until the 1970s, the last forty years or so have seen great gains in our legal understanding of sexual harassment. There are still many areas that need improvement, however, and the sexual harassment of teens is especially a place that needs to have stronger laws and more safeguards.

The key word in the aforementioned definition is unwelcome. You are allowed to do anything you want within the law with someone if both parties consent. Courts have generally concluded that a victim of sexual harassment does not have to show that he or she was not interested for harassment to occur. To think of it another way, assume that people do not want to talk to you, touch you, or do anything else in a sexual manner. That is normal. What is not normal is harassment. It is important to remember, at all times, that every victim of sexual harassment is exactly that: a victim.

If you have experienced unwelcome advances, do not be afraid to speak out. You have been wronged and did nothing to invite the other persons behavior, comments, or actions. Also, do not be afraid to speak out if you witness someone being sexually harassed. Ignoring harassment is not a useful strategy. Harassers rarely voluntarily stop harassing people.

In the introduction, a group of friends had their day ruined by the man in the car. That was sexual harassment. Sexual harassment is when someone makes you feel uncomfortable or upset because he or she did something unwanted to you and it included sexual overtones. Sexual harassment is also a form of bullying. Like all bullying it is designed to hurt someone or make him or her afraid. Not only is the definition of sexual harassment broad, it can manifest itself in many ways. Here is a partial list of actions that definitely qualify as sexual harassment:

• Making sexual gestures
• Talking about someone in a lewd manner
• Making sexualized jokes
• Repeatedly asking someone out even after the person has said no
• Spreading rumors of a sexual naturethis can be done person to person, via text, or on social media
• Purposefully rubbing up against someone to touch his or her body
• Writing or drawing sexual graffiti about someone in a public place
• Touching, grabbing, or pinching someone in a sexual way or in his or her genital area(s)
• Sharing pornography with someone
• Saying sexualized things about someone or making offers to someone using a fake name or anonymously online
• Requesting nudes (naked photographs) or sending naked pictures of themselves
• Sending sexual messages of any form or posting sexual content on someone elses social media page(s)

It is important to know that sexual harassment is not the same as sexual assault. While sexual harassment is not to be tolerated, sexual assault is someone physically acting on his or her desires when the other person does not want it. Sexual assault can be something as small as an unwanted kiss and as horrible as forced sexual intercourse or rape. Whether it is sexual harassment or assault, remember that it is never your fault that these things happened!