Michael J. Rosen - More Mirth of a Nation: The Best Contemporary Humor

(Along with Optional Introductory Comments in Italics by the Editor)

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Now here we are, gloating over all the glories compounded in this new volume, thinking back over the last volumes introduction, and dreaming of (read: dreading) all the introductions of the biennials to come. Being shy of fifty, and, hoping health, luck, and the publishing business all continue in favorable manners, we realize this might indicate the possibility of a dozen such prefatory remarks. A dozen chances to offer a state of the nations humor address.

Well lets dispel that occasion right away: We will hardly presume to know more than the state of our own minds, and, as clever readers have already quipped, even that is a dubious assessment. So what does this mean to you, the reader? (Hello, reader!) You who are simply eager to see your favorite authors and to meet new favorites. (And also you who are already asking yourself why you arent included here.) It means this: You are being spared a separate introduction in exchange for a table of contents capriciously annotated with italics, as well as supplementary book-whacking by the likes of Henry Alford, Amy Krouse Rosenthal, and the loquacious Davis Sweet, who offers this volumes Submission Guidance at the end of the book, before the copious offers from our sponsoring merchants (dont forget to mention Mirth of a Nation to receive a special rolling-of-the-eyes discount).

Once again this anthology selects and honors writing where the humor itself is the achievement and not simply something, like grammar or spicy dialogue, that keeps your interest. Here, humor is the show dog (and weve got representatives from all the groups, from the mutts to the toy breeds, from the nonsporting dogs to the rough-and-tumble terriers); humor is not merely the linty bits of biscuits you dole out to your puppy (read: reader) just to keep him (read: you) (also read: apologies for using the accepted simplicity of the masculine pronoun to stand in for everyone) heeling on a walk. Yes, this is the Best of Show in humor writing. In somewhat less metaphorical terms, were only showcasing work where humor is the spectacle itself rather than the glitter a writer adds to give the unspectacular a little sparkle. In still plainer terms, hoping to welcome even the metaphorically impaired, here the humor is the ham and not the little wedges of pineapple and the maraschino cherries stuck on with frill picks. Humor is the feature presentation and not just the big box of Jujyfruits you eat all through the first half of the movie so that you can spend the second half of the movie wondering why on Earth you ate such junk as you discreetly try to pry the sticky bits from your teeth. Please hold any questions you may have about this policy until after reading this entire volume; if you remain still uncertain as to what we have been trying to say about humor, just let us know and we can posit further metaphors in the next edition.

DAVID M. BADE

We are delighted to be publishing this mini-book by Mr. Bader in this volume. Think of it as a sort of bonus were throwing in, like some nifty booklet of fifty things you can do to prevail upon everything from crabgrass to indigestion that magazines like Mens Health and Prevention and [your favorite fanzine here] send you as a way of saying, Hey, thanks for subscribing. Truth to tell, How to Meditate Faster came to us in a much longeror, to be more directmuch slower version, which we convinced the author to expedite for your benefit. Alas, no one convinced the editor to follow suit.

RICHARD BAUSCH

ANDY BOROWITZ

The Inaugural Address of
President George W. Bush

TIM CARVELL

Speaking of rating, this seems as good a time as any to offer up a simple method for rating your own sense of humor. This comes to us compliments of an Amazon.com reader/reviewer from New York who proclaimed this about Mirth of a Nation: Dont drink milk while reading! Sure, it might have been swell had his name been Michiko Kakutani, but that small chagrin is offset when you that note that 11 out of 11 potential book buyers browsing Amazons site found that review helpful. And so, what could be simpler: Got milk? As you read each entry in this new volume, sip your milk, be it skim, 2 percent, rice, lite soy, what have you. And then, once youve finished the book, count the number of milk-spattered pages and divide by the total page count. Feel free to devise your own rating system for calibrating blot size, sprayed area, and so forth (you, after all, understand your nose best, and its propensity to propel beverages when surprised by laughter).

We have not yet designed a means of calibrating or assessing the naso-lacto index, so you may, on the basis of anything you like, declare yourself a person with a Very Fine, Fine, Good, or Average sense of humor and no one here will think the worse of you. (Heaven help the lactose- and humor-intolerant.)

CARINA CHOCANO

LAWRENCE DOUGLAS AND ALEXANDER GEORGE

Portrait of the Postmodern Renaissance Man
As Quilt Stitcher, Filmmaker, Deep Thinker,
and Sculptor of Cubes of Tofu in Vats of Water

MICHAEL THOMAS FORD

IAN FRAZIER

KRIS FRIESWICK

FRANK GANNON

MICHAEL GERBER AND JONATHAN SCHWARZ

A word about this contribution. Readers may remember from our introduction to the previous edition that we attended medical school. Yes, six months, even twenty-four years ago, does count. So when I might have been discussing the classics of the worlds literature around a table at some neighborhood Hungarian pastry shop, I was seated across from the periodic table on the wall of the lab extracting caffeine from tea and precipitating unknowns from cloudy solutions. (If Id only understood how much that latter process actually describes the very murky science of writing itself!) Anyway, in recognition of those lost years, we are including a new periodic table here. An addendum, if you will. And, as always, readers are invited to nominate their own new elements for yet another supplementary chart. Depending on how many of your submissions receive a high naso-lacto score, well offer a few prizes and report the collective findings in the next volume of our biennial.

Which is another way of saying thank you to Messrs. Gerber and Schwarz for rekindling our lack of interest in all things that remotely possess the smell of chemistry, physics, math, psychology, bodies, pain, cadavers, or live human beings.

TOM GLIATTO

BEN GREENMAN

LEWIS GROSSBERGER

We have selected five offerings from the pen of Lewis Grossberger, media critic for Media Week, his most recent tenure after years of reporting, surveying, and assessing for a slew of esteemed magazines in the last decades. Already weve received some heat for his first entry, since it seems NASCAR has become a phenomenon you can now admit to enjoying, much like the Weather Channel or World Wrestling Entertainment or