Christopher Kilmartin - The Fictions that Shape Mens Lives

Acknowledgements

Preface

Frameworks: What is gender, and why does it matter?

Opposite Sex: The fiction of difference

Blue Genes: The fiction of biological determinism

Mirrors of the soul: The fiction that appearance is reality

Good old days: The fiction of the bygone romantic era

A mans gotta do what a mans gotta do: The fiction of violence

The last action hero: The fiction of masculine mystique

Onward through the fog: The future of masculinities

References

Index

This book has been a lengthy project, and along the way, many people have supported, inspired, assisted, and sustained my work. Listed in no particular order, I am grateful to: Jin Auh, Michael Addis, Fred Rabinowitz, Erin OBrien, Melanie Dulcetta, Dave Westmoreland, Terri Morse, Gary Packard, Amanda Metcalfe, Lynne Revo-Cohen, Gwen Crider, Ron Levant, Adrienne Lawrence, Rich McConchie, Eric Lindholm, Whitey Jaquith, Marcel Rotter, John Siegler, Kenn Briggs, David McCone, Leah Pound, Mike Gellar, Meribeth Persson, Tommy Shultz, Susan Shultz, Gil Wadsworth, Utta Isop, Kristen Mertlisch, Sandra Bem, Alan Berkowitz, Alan McEvoy, Jim ONeil, Lisa Speidel, Hope Hills, Brenda Hawks, Miriam Liss, John Morello, Drew Gallagher, Jackson Katz, John Lynch, Gail Dines, Elinor Burkett, Susan Basow, Lilia Cortina, David Lisak, Dennis Hoover, Anne Munch, Bernie Chirico, Andrew Irwin-Smiler, Julie Allison, James Nelson, Shawn Maxam, Will Courtenay, Rich Ramsey, Neil Irvin, Jim Mahalik, Barry Shapiro, Joe Ehrmann, Rebecca Campbell, Mary Koss, Jerry Novak, Jackie White, Bob Geffner, Alan Kazdin, Don McPherson, Carole Corcoran, Debbie Mahlstedt, John Hill, Chris McClernon, Christine Cole, Mark Stevens, Carol Tavris, Elliot Aronson, Robert Sapolsky, Calvin Llarena, Matt Genuchi, Ben Murrie, Ryan McKelley, Ryon McDermott, Tara Misra, Barbara Cyr-Roman, Natalie Angier, Judy Rosenstein, Karen Gentile, Sharon Subotta, Erin Boggs, Dave Kolar, Ginny Fuqua, Erin Doss, Peter Glick, Susan Fiske, Laurie Rudman, Joseph Pleck, Alison Green, Tempe Smith, Mike Kuchler, Erin Boggs, Callum Watson, Harriotte Makfinsky, Cordelia Fine, Lise Eliot, Aiko Iris, Miriam Fugfugosh, Robin Semelsberger, Sarah Dye, Sarah Murnen, Shawn Burn, Genevieve Brackins, Frans de Waal, John Foubert, Gail Stern, Christian Murphy, Charles Girard, Makiko Deguchi, Everett Worthington, Lori Daniels, and, of course, the love of my life, Allyson Poska.

It is day one in my Psychology of Men class. The first task is to describe the defaults, to name the pressures that the mainstream culture exerts on men and boys. The best way I know how to do so is with an exercise created by activist Paul Kivel (1992) called the act like a man box. I draw a large rectangle on the whiteboard and write the words act like a man on top of it. Then I underline the word act to emphasize that much of gendered behavior is an acta performanceand that all men choose to act or not act according to their responses to gendered expectations.

Different men make different choices in response to masculine social pressures, and so our exercise is not to describe how men are, since we are all different, but how we are expected to be. And, as we will see, sometimes men are internally different from other men even when they are performing the same actions. The last thing I want to do in this exercise is to reify stereotypes by giving the impression that all men are alike. It is a fun and lively exercise, and students throw out suggestions readily:

Eats red meat.

Financial provider.

Protector, to which I ask, of whom or what? The response, women and children. And then I ask, from whom or what? The response, actually from other men.

Has lots of sex. My follow up, with whom? The response, womenhot, young women, and lots of them.