Jennifer Worick - The Action Heroines Handbook

THE ACTION HEROINES HANDBOOK

Warning: The skills taught within this handbook are meant for the use of true action heroines onlynot for wicked witches, female felons, or devious dames of any type. If you fall into one of these categories, put this book down immediately and slowly back away from the register. (We have inserted a traceable microchip inside the binding of this book, so do not attempt to abscond with itwe will be watching you. See that man over there? Hes actually an undercover heroine. Authentic-looking bulge, dont you think?) Although the information within comes directly from highly trained professionals, we present these skills for entertainment purposes onlyuse this book at your own risk. Moreover, we do not assert that the information presented within is complete, safe, or accurate for the situations you may find yourself embroiled in (i.e., improvise as necessary). The authors, the publishers, and the experts within hereby disclaim any liability from any harm, injury, or damage due to the use or misuse of the information contained within this book. Finally, nothing in this book should be construed or interpreted to infringe or encourage infringement of the rights of other persons or of any state, federal, global, or universal laws. All activities described should be conducted in accordance with the law and your own good judgmenteven if a coworker just stole your idea and you want to choke the life out of him with your bare thighs.

The Authors

Copyright 2003 by Quirk Productions, Inc.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form without written permission from the publisher.

Library of Congress Cataloging in Publication Number: 2001012345

eISBN: 978-1-59474-586-7

e-book production management by Melissa Jacobson

Quirk Books
215 Church Street
Philadelphia, PA 19106
quirkbooks.com

v3.1_r2

By Danielle Burgio

There was a time not so long ago when action heroine was an oxymoron. Sure, Bond had his female sidekicks, and yes, thered been plenty of wisecracking, fast-talking dames on the silver screen, but no one seemed to understand that women really could do more than dance backward in high heels.

Thats where I come in. As a Hollywood stuntwoman, I have been fortunate enough to have had the opportunity to actually perform the heroic stunts you see in The Matrix: Reloaded, Daredevil, Angel, and Fastlaneall of which feature the unique daring of strong, professional, and heroic women out to better the world.

In the last 30 years, there have been more and more action heroines on the big and small screens, from the original Angels all the way to Trinity, and The Action Heroines Handbook is a wonderful homage to all of their astonishing exploits. Jennifer Worick and Joe Borgenicht have come up with the real-life instructions for living the TV and movie heroines lifethe kind of pointers a stuntwoman needs to know to perform every day on set (and off).

Based on my experience and the essential skills provided in this book, here are what I like to call the 5 Fundamental Tips of Action Heroine Survival.

).

Elektra may have worn heels in her everyday life from time to time, but she also knew how to run down an archenemy without missing a beat (or breaking a heel). And youd be amazed at the amount of damage a well-placed stiletto can inflict.

Action Heroine Tip #2: Never let them see you sweat (see ).

Trinity always stood toe to toe with her partners Neo and Morpheus, and she earned their respect by being the best darn partner theyd ever seen. She was as smart and dedicated as they were and capable of doing the job in a way only a woman could.

Action Heroine Tip #3: When undercover, keep your clothes and your wits about you (see ).

When action heroines go deep undercover as everything from a mob wife to a working girl, they must always take pains to look and act the partand never fail to deliver the goods when it comes time to take down the bad guy.

Action Heroine Tip #4: Be prepared for things to get ugly when it comes time to whack the enemy (see ).

Ive lured, outwitted, and escaped all types of bad guysguys with bad bleach jobs and polyester three-piece suits. How did I do it? A pair of handcuffs, the proper footwear, and the occasional bat-of-the-eyelashes-sucker-punch combo.

And Action Heroine Tip #5? Thats simple:

Never turn your back on your enemy, never walk away from someone who needs your help, and never get caught without The Action Heroines Handbook.

Greetings, heroines, and congratulations.

You have taken the first step toward becoming an action heroine by realizing a very important fact: any woman can become a heroine, including you.

Being an action heroine doesnt come naturally or easily, unless you are an Amazon princess or a vampire slayer (and even they have to endure their fair share of training). Rather, its about rising to the occasion. Think about it: Ripley didnt set out to rid her spaceship of the mother of all aliens, but she fired up her flamethrower for the good of humanity. Sidney Prescott didnt relish outwitting a knife-wielding psycho, but she wanted to stay alive and kicking. Clarice Starling didnt enter the FBI Academy in order to wine and dine a cannibal, but other seasoned agents somehow didnt savor the assignment.

A heroines abilities are constantly put to the test without warning, so she must be ready and able to do battle in the all-around competition. This means cross-training in all disciplines, from drinking and dancing to swimming and surfing, using her intuition and instincts to save the worldand looking damned good doing it. With some innate talent and determination, the right training and guidance, and the inherent ability to multi-task, you too can be a first-rate action heroine.

This book is your guide. Within these action-packed pages, you will find everything you need to be a complete action heroine in your own right: tough chick skills, beauty skills, brain skills, brawn skills, and escape skills.

We tracked down real-life heroes and heroinesincluding FBI agents, sexologists, stuntwomen, beauty queens, drag kings, world-champion boxers, dominatrixes, and detectivesto show us how to develop real-world skills for perilous situations that usually only happen to women with big hair, tight leather pants, and really high heels.

With our step-by-step instructions, you can begin a rigorous training regime immediately. Yoga sessions will aid you in beating a field of laser beams. Years of cheerleading or Tae Kwon Do will give you a wicked kick to bring down a baddie. You can put your talent as a world-class flirt to good use by distracting the enemy with your feminine wiles. (Hint: Its okay to hum the Wonder Woman theme song while you do it.)

But take heed: With great ability comes great responsibility. In the wrong hands, the results could be more catastrophic than Alien: Resurrection. So after youve learned the skills, keep your handbook under wrapsuntil a promising apprentice comes along who could benefit from a little heroine training.