Kenneth Lloyd - Office Idiots: What to Do When Your Workplace is a Jerkplace

OFFICE IDIOTS

What to Do When Your Workplace Is a Jerkplace

By Ken Lloyd, PhD

Copyright 2013 by Ken Lloyd

All rights reserved under the Pan-American and International Copyright Conventions. This book may not be reproduced, in whole or in part, in any form or by any means electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system now known or hereafter invented, without written permission from the publisher, The Career Press.

OFFICE IDIOTS

EDITED BY KIRSTEN DALLEY

TYPESET BY DIANA GHAZZAWI

Cover design by Howard Grossman

Printed in the U.S.A.

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Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

The Library of Congress has cataloged the print edition as follows:

Lloyd, Kenneth L.

Office idiots : what to do when your workplace is a jerkplace / by Ken Lloyd, PhD.

pages cm

Includes index.

ISBN 978-1-60163-268-5 -- ISBN 978-1-60163-525-9 (ebook)

1. Problem employees. 2. Interpersonal relations. I. Title.

HF5549.5.E42L583 2013
650.13--dc23

2013012531

To my growing family.

This book is based on e-mail that readers have been sending to my Website, www.jerksatwork.com, and to my weekly workplace advice column that has been running in several newspapers for more than 15 years. With that in mind, I offer major thanks to the many readers who took the time to write to me regarding some of the issues, concerns, problems, and, yes, office idiots they were encountering in their work. To all of these readers, I offer sincere thanks for their confidence and candor in expressing whats really going on in so many workplaces today.

And speaking of newspapers, I also offer great thanks to the outstanding team at the Los Angeles Daily News for their enduring support of my column over all of these years. Thanks also to the Los Angeles Newspaper group for running my column in some of their excellent newspapers. Special kudos go to three outstanding newspaper professionals who have played a key role in the success of my column: Greg Wilcox, Barbara Jones, and Kevin Smith.

Thanks once again to Career Press. This is my sixth book with this outstanding publisher, and I have consistently enjoyed working with their highly professional team. In this regard, I offer special thanks to Ron Fry, Adam Schwartz, Michael Pye, Laura Kelly-Pye, Gina Talucci, Kirsten Dalley, and Diana Ghazzawi.

And finally, thanks also to my home team, composed of my amazing children and son-in-law, and especially to Roberta Winston Lloyd, a great librarian, researcher, editor, best friend, and wife.

Many books approach the subject of absurd, ridiculous, and outrageous workplace behaviors from the standpoint of hypotheses, anecdotes, and hearsay. The result is a combination of speculation and conjecture about idiotic workplace behaviors and what to do about them. This book is different. Its based on real incidents caused by real idiots in real workplaces. As well, the action steps to deal with them move out of the realm of guesswork and into the realm of real work.

An ongoing stream of e-mail to my newspaper column and Website keeps returning to one overriding theme: todays workplaces continue to be infested with office idiots. You would think that the recent economic slowdown would have pruned their presence to little more than a pesky weed here and there in most organizations. Or perhaps the jittery economy and current hints of recovery have somehow reenergized, refocused, and redirected the cadres of practicing office idiots.

Unfortunately, this isnt the case.

Office idiots can be found running companies and managing departments, and theyre just as likely to function (or malfunction) as colleagues, peers, associates, fellow employees, or subordinates. You can even find them at the door in the form of job applicants. Their antics cover a vast spectrum of clueless, misguided, counterproductive, and downright inappropriate behaviors. And when left unchecked, theyre not only an annoyance, disruption, and distraction, theyre a significant source of performance and productivity issues, as well.

So, herein you will find examples of some of the most widespread and disruptive forms of office idiocy, along with a full toolset with which to deal with them. This not only means the optimum strategies for working over, under, around, beside, with, without, and in spite of office idiots, but also the strategies to rein in their idiocy. Its a compendium of what to say, what to do, and how to do it. And if you happen to possess any latent idiotic tendencies yourself, or if any such tendencies have somehow crept into your day-to-day workplace behaviors, this book shows you how to recognize and get rid of them.

As a side note, this book also uncovers the ways in which any of us can inadvertently enable and even reinforce idiotic workplace behaviors, thereby turning potential idiots into the real deal. There are enough idiots in most workplaces already, and theres no reason to engage in behaviors that create a corporate Petri dish that fosters their growth and proliferation.

What can be done about the infestation of office idiots that continues to turn any workplace into a jerkplace? The answer is in your hands.

Office idiots distinguish themselves across a broad spectrum of absurd workplace behaviors, antics, and gaffes. One area that typically jumps to the front of the pack is their unique ability to easily and handily transform communication into miscommunication. Whether theyre doing this on a witting, unwitting, or half-witting basis, the outcome is always the same: When office idiots insert themselves into the communication process, messages get mixed, muddled, and mangled.

In workplaces across America today, one commonly echoed complaint is that armies of idiotic managers are multitasking when their employees are trying to have a conversation with them. These managers pretend to listen and even occasionally react with an Uh-huh or an arched eyebrow, but theyre actually hearing nothing.

For example, lets say youre discussing a matter of importance with your manager, but hes on his Bluetooth, glancing at his computer, pecking at the keyboard, and texting. You could tell him that the buildings on fire, but he would probably either ignore it or ask you whos being fired. Importantly, if you keep talking as if he were actually listening, or if you pause here or there while hes focused on his other activities, youll be wasting your time. Although you may be able to deliver your message, hes not going to receive it.

When your manager focuses on everything but you in a meeting, there are a few steps that can bring things back into focus. One way to deal with this brand of idiocy is by using the indirect approach. When hes no longer paying attention, ask him, Is this a good time to meet, or should we get together later? This question respectfully indicates that you recognize how busy he is, while still emphasizing that you need to meet. Depending upon your relationship with him, you can also use a more direct approach and say, Hey, this is really important, and we need to talk. Can you put all that stuff down? This type of approach includes an attention-grabbing opener, followed by a collaborative message that both of you need to go over something. By opening with Hey, youre more likely to get him to look up at you. This break in his focus will help him hear your next words, namely that you need to meet.