Anne Kreamer - Its Always Personal: Navigating Emotion in the New Workplace

How would you answer the following questions?

Your supervisor tells you that she wants to discuss your performance. Which of the following do you think?

a. You and your boss have different styles and youre pretty certain shell be critical

b. You feel a sense of anxiety about the meeting come over you

c. You imagine youll be complimented for all of your hard workafter all, good things come to hard workers

d. You mentally prepare a list of what you accomplished compared to your stated objectives from your last discussion and feel confident youve exceeded expectations

Youve worked an entire day on an assignment for your boss only to discover that a co-worker failed to share a crucial piece of information with you. And you have to redo everything. Which of the responses below might describe how youd deal with this situation?

a. In no uncertain terms, you let your boss know how much your co-workers stupidity has cost you, and you storm out of the office

b. You think to yourself, This is exactly why I dont trust parts of my projects to others!

c. You call your best friend and think how lucky you are to have someone to share your problems with

d. You take the annoying information for what it is, and stay at work until you get the assignment done

Youre in a no-idea-is-a-bad-idea brainstorming session. What are you thinking?

a. Youre in heavenCreative Thinker is your middle name

b. Youre terrified someone will ask you to suggest something

c. You like it when everyone works toward a shared goal

d. Youre uncomfortable and feel like someone should soon steer the conversation to what all this means

Your spouse just lost her job, your kids have the flu, and a big project is due. What are you thinking?

a. Theres almost nothing a couple of glasses of wine wont fix

b. You do what youve got to do, but make sure everyone knows how tough it is on you

c. Youre glad youve got friends outside of work to support you at times like these

d. You make a planprioritize what needs to happen and ask for help when you need it

You walk into the employees room and overhear a group of employees bad-mouthing one of your co-workers. What do you do?

a. You join inits important that you fit in on the job

b. You avoid the gossiping group

c. You distract people from the conversation, introducing a new topic

d. You stand up for the person

In general, which type of work environment suits you best?

a. An organization where ideas are debated publicly and the best ones win

b. A job where I know whats expected of me, and Im given the time and resources to do it well

c. An organization that cares about employees values

d. One in which decisions are made based on fact, truth, and numbers

As you imagined yourself in each situation, were you aware of what you were feeling? Anxious, angry, elated, frustrated, fearful, compassionate? Maybe you felt a combination of several emotions? If you were aware of your emotions, was your impulse to trust them, or try to override them with logic? Did different questions arouse different kinds of feelings? Do you know that those feelings contribute to your professional success or failure by consistently shaping the choices you make?

If you found that your answers fell predominantly into one categorymore as or cs, for instanceyoull discover in this book a set of diagnostic tools that Ive developedThe Workplace Emotional Evaluation Profilethat precisely defines what those answers indicate about your individual emotional work style as well as your typical approach to handling emotional situations. But a diagnosis of your own emotional makeup is only one part of the emotional mastery equationlearning to identify and understand how others deal with emotion is nearly as important. Its Always Personal will help guide you, offering concrete strategies that will help you improve your skills at managing your own emotions and navigating your colleagues.

Getting smart about emotion at work is not some airy-fairy luxury, rather, emotion management is an essential skill set for professional success. If you want to be more aware of those emotions and learn to channel them more productively, read on.

Praise for
ITS ALWAYS PERSONAL

Throughout this heartfelt book, Ms. Kreamer comes down on the side of accepting and expressing ones authentic feelings, though in sensible and constructive ways. Its Always Personal is not a manifesto for workplace encounter groups, but the book does argue that greater emotional openness could lend vitality to American business, and it urges both men and women to bring their full, true selves to the game.

The Wall Street Journal

Its Always Personal will transform the way you look at office culture and work relationships. In an insightful analysis packed with research, evidence, and real-life examples, Kreamer demonstrates why emotion matters so much in the workplaceand, with practical advice, she identifies ways to be happier and more effective at work.

G RETCHEN R UBIN , #1 New York Times
bestselling author of The Happiness Project

Anne Kreamer has hit the Its about time! button with her latest, Its Always Personal: Emotion in the New Workplace. Finally, someone is willing to unpack the morass of anger, anxiety, sadness, and joy that drives the workday. Yes, this bears repeating: drives the workday what makes Kreamers book transcend Who Moved My Cheese-yness is the tension that thrums beneath her ex-executive optimism and also her own still-palpable disappointment in the corporate sphere.

Elle

This will be one of the most fascinating and useful books youll ever read. In this groundbreaking study, Anne Kreamer looks at emotion in the workplace through first-hand experiences, scientific research, and empirical data. Whats the role of anger, fear, empathy, anxiety, and tears? This book explains them in ways that will make you a better worker, boss, and human being.

W ALTER I SAACSON , president and CEO,
The Aspen Institute and former CEO of CNN

Big girls do cryand yellat work, according to this lively, well-researched exploration of emotions on the job.

O: The Oprah Magazine

Its Always Personal made me want to stand up and cheer! I love this book. And every person who has ever been a boss or an employee needs to read it. Superb reading and highly practical!

C HRISTIANE N ORTHRUP , M.D., New York Times
bestselling author of Womens Bodies, Womens Wisdom

Kreamer makes a solid case for her philosophy in the most compelling way possible an extremely readable, well-reasoned volume.

Publishers Weekly

A magnificent book, deeply researched and fun to read, Its Always Personal is destined to become a classic in the field of men, women, and work.

L OUANN B RIZENDINE , M.D., New York Times bestselling author of The Female Brain

So what should be the rules and boundaries for showing how you feel while you work? Thats a question asked and answered in Anne Kreamers fascinating book.