Barbara Carrellas - Urban Tantra: Sacred Sex for the Twenty-First Century

Any book on Tantra that begins by describing a professional lap dance as a divine sexual experience is one I will definitely read. Written with wit and humor, Barbaras Urban Tantra keeps sex real, and, best of all, the rituals are fun.

Betty Dodson, PhD, author of Sex for One and Orgasms for Two

If you ever thought Tantra wasnt for youtoo foreign or gimmicky or New Agey, or not edgy enough for your radical sex explorationsBarbara Carrellas will cure you of all misconceptions and bring you an Urban Tantra to unite your sex, your spirit, your erotic wanderlust, your edge.

Carol Queen, author of Real Live Nude Girl

Urban Tantra offers a daring, delicious, profound, courageous, and altogether magical celebration that will teach us all to dance to the rhythms of the universe. Barbara Carrellas has written the ultimate how-to book that unites sex with spirit, healing with philosophy, and the animating force of the cosmos with each and every one of us. So if youd like to live your sex life on a galactic scale, you must read this book!

Dossie Easton, coauthor of The Ethical Slut

Everyone needs to rejoice in their own sexuality, and Barbara shows us how in this very informative, easy-to-use book. It would be nice to practice Tantra in a lovely remote garden or high atop a mountain, but the reality is that in todays world many of us dont have that luxury. Barbara demonstrates that it doesnt matter where you practice, as long as youre conscious when you do. Now, let go and enjoy Urban Tantra.

Louise Hay, author of You Can Heal Your Life and Empowering Women

Urban Tantra is a courageous book by Barbara Carrellas, one of the pioneers in contemporary American Tantra. This engaging and comprehensive guide includes numerous powerful exercises as well as moving personal anecdotes that reveal how the conscious exploration and embrace of sexuality can function as a tool for transformation.

Mark A. Michaels (Swami Umeshanand Saraswati) and Patricia Johnson (Devi Veenanand), authors of The Essence of Tantric Sexuality

Barbara Carrellas, whose Urban Tantric sex workshops combine Eastern sex techniques with the postmodern methods of SM practitioners, is a trailblazer.

Tristan Taormino, The Village Voice

Copyright 2007 by Barbara Carrellas
Illustrations copyright 2007 by Colleen Coover

All rights reserved.
Published in the United States by Celestial Arts, an imprint of the Crown Publishing Group,
a division of Random House, Inc., New York.
www.crownpublishing.com
www.tenspeed.com

Celestial Arts and the Celestial Arts colophon are registered trademarks of Random House, Inc.

The poem on the opposite page is paraphrased from Guillaume Apollinaire.

Quotation on . All rights reserved.

Reprinted with permission.

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Carrellas, Barbara.
Urban tantra : sacred sex for the twenty-first century / Barbara Carrellas.
p. cm.
1. Sex. 2. Tantrism. 3. Sex instruction. I. Title.
HQ23.C38 2007
306.77dc22
2006100430

eISBN: 978-0-307-78580-0

v3.1

Come to the edge, she said.
No, I will fall.
Come to the edge.
No, its too high.
Come to the edge.
I came
she pushed
and I flew.

This book is dedicated to
Louise L. Hay
&
Patricia M. Neilson

This book was first imagined several years ago in my warm and wild sex and spirituality workshops in Australia. It has taken the love and support of many people to take Urban Tantra off the massage table and put it on the page.

To my partner in love, art, and life, Kate Bornstein: Thank you for your unwavering belief in me and in the importance of this book. Thank you for the inspiration and encouragement to go far beyond the scope of my original idea. Thank you for reading every chapter of this book over and over again. Thank you for loving me.

To Chester Mainard: Thank you for giving me a language for bodies and pleasure. You are the finest teacher I have ever met, and teaching in partnership with you was one of the greatest thrills of my life. I have tried to capture the spirit of your teachings in Urban Tantra. I will love you forever.

To Louise L. Hay: Thank you for your unconditional love, for your continuing delight in my more extreme diversions, and for always being there when I need a good cry, a good laugh, or a good zing. Thank you especially for the intensity of your support during the final stages of this book.

Thanks to my sister-of-the heart, Annie Sprinkle, who held my hand as I dove into the deep end of sex and has been my dearest friend ever since. Thanks also to the other ladies of Club 90: Veronica Hart, Gloria Leonard, Candida Royalle, and Veronica Vera, who have encouraged me every step of the way. Special thanks to Linda Montano, who has provided me with spiritual guidance and art/life counseling for so many years.

I have learned so much from my friends and colleagues: Lily Burana, Kutira Decosterd, Betty Dodson, Raelyn Gallina, Lynda Gayle, Jwala, Robert Lawrence, Christiane Northrup, Carol Queen, Pat Sinatra, and especially Joseph Kramer. I am eternally grateful not only for what you have taught me, but also for allowing me to fold bits of your brilliance into this book.

It is much easier to explore sex in a country founded by convicts than one founded by puritans. My deepest thanks to my Australian national workshop coordinator and best mate, Hayley Caspers. Thanks to my brave and wise regional presenters, Margie Fischer, Sue Marley, Kirien Withers, Di Alexander, Alka, and Joanne Baker. The success of my workshops was in large part due to the physical, emotional, and psychic support of Catherine Carter, Steve Cairnduff, Heather Croall, Cyndi Darnell, Lianna Gailand, Diana Haigh, Laura-Doe Harris, Debra Kaplan, Peter Masters, Jenny Navaro, Alison Partridge, Justine Watson, and norrie my welby, among others.

Thank you to my literary agent, Malaga Baldi, for your total devotion to and belief in this book. With your help, it has evolved into everything I imagined, and more.

Huge hugs of enthusiastic ecstasy to Colleen Coover, who created the perfect illustrations for Urban Tantra.

Gobs of gratitude to Celestial Arts, who helped heal the wounds of a past publishing nightmare with their respect, enthusiasm, and love, and particularly to my editor, Brie Mazurek. Brie, you are a star. Thanks also to Mark Rhysberger and Felice Newman for editorial help on an earlier version of the manuscript.

Its truethere are no people like show people. Thanks to James M. Nederlander, Herschel Waxman, and Jim Boese of the Nederlander Organization, and to the crew and staff of the Brooks Atkinson Theatre, who not only tolerated my frequent authors angst, but supported me with good humor and good cheer throughout the process. Most especially, my deepest thanks and love to Marilyn S. Miller, who covered countless performances for me so I could write. Bravo, all.

I am very grateful to Tristan Taormino for her ongoing support of my work as well as for her part in the creation of Dark Odyssey, a biannual sexual/spiritual retreat, where I have been inspired by so many erotic pioneers. Thanks especially to Anton, Susan Benner, Blair, Sir C, Colten Tognazzini, femcar, Bridgett Harrington, kate and David, Lolita, Major, and puppy for their wisdom and friendship. Extra special thanks to Tantric authors and teachers Mark Michaels and Patricia Johnson for their inspiration and camaraderie.