Barbara Carrellas - Luxurious Loving: Tantric Inspirations for Passion and Pleasure

Tantric Inspirations for Passion and Pleasure

Barbara Carrellas

Text 2006 by Barbara Carrellas
Photography 2006 Rockport Publishers
First published in the USA in 2006 by
Quiver, a member of
Quayside Publishing Group
33 Commercial Street
Gloucester, MA 01930

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or utilized, in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, without prior permission in writing from the publisher.

The publisher maintains the records relating to images in this book required by 18 USC 2257, which records are located at Rockport Publishers, Inc., 33 Commercial Street, Gloucester, MA 01930.

10 09 08 07 06 1 2 3 4 5

ISBN - 13: 978-1-59233-237-3
ISBN - 10: 1-59233-237-4
Digital edition: 978-1-6167-3563-0

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data available

Cover design by Michael Brock
Book design by Laura Herrmann Design
Photography by Allan Penn
Female model: April Blossom

Printed and bound in China

for Kate with love

I WILL ALWAYS REMEMBER MY FIRST experience at a five-star hotel. I had been traveling all day and I was exhausted and frazzled. But the minute I walked into the atrium lobby, I felt relief. I took the first deep breath Id taken all day. My eyes fell upon the huge sculpture of beautiful fresh flowers in the center of the atrium. The perfume from the lilies lightly scented the entire lobby. The rugs and walls were rich and complex in both color and texture. The marble counters of the registration desk were cool and elegant. The lighting was indirect and flattering. As I caught my image in one of the large mirrors, I was startled to see that I looked far more refreshed than I felt. I walked to my room down halls lined with little flower vases placed just above eye level. Each held a single flower, stunningly lit by a tiny museum light from above.

Stepping into my room, I was greeted by a complimentary basket of perfectly ripened fruit, dark chocolate, and chilled champagne. I kicked off my shoes and felt my tired feet relax into the plush carpet. Soft music was playing on a surround-sound CD player by the bed.

As I tucked myself in, I sank into a deep, soft feather bed. I had a blissful nights sleep and I awoke to a breakfast of eggs, an English muffin, and a tiny, perfectly cooked filet mignon, all served on an immaculate tray with crystal glasses, fine china, and fresh flowers. Next, I had my choice of a shower, a bath, or a Jacuzzi in my own elegantly appointed marble bathroom.

At my every turn, I was surprised and delighted by some new taste, sound, vision, comfort, or scent. Each moment in this hotel revealed a new, previously undiscovered detail that gave me delight. There was no big bang of amazement over any one itemthere did not need to be. My senses were in a constant, consistent, cumulative state of arousal. I was delighted to my core. It was just like great sex.

There are lots of kinds of great sex. I am grateful to say that I have experienced a rich mlange of sex with many fascinating people. When I was younger, I favored intensity over intimacy. On some days, I still do. But over the course of both my personal and professional explorations of sex, I have found a style of sex that satisfies my passion for intensity as well as my desire for connection with both my partner and my inner self. Its a style of sex that I describe as luxurious.

Luxurious sex does not require a five-star hotel nor does it involve any great expenditures of money. Luxurious sex is specific to no special place or time period. Luxurious loving is a way of approaching love and sex thatlike a five-star hotelfocuses on quality, not quantity. Luxurious loving is a process, not a goal. Return with me for a moment to my genuinely luxurious five-star hotel. The people who run this hotel make luxury a regular routine. The feather beds are fluffed daily. The flowers are replaced regularly. The chef consistently searches out new sources and menus for the freshest foods and finest wines. All these details must be attended to in order to achieve and maintain luxury. Its an ongoing process.

In a hotel where luxury is a goal instead of a process, things feel very different. At first glance, the hotel may look even more expensive and grand than the five-star hotel, but the beds arent as soft, the air is not as fresh, the lighting is harsher and the imitation-brass doorknob may come off in your hand. You instinctively know that you are in faux luxury.

Sex is similar. Lets face it; most sex is good. There is no such thing as a bad orgasm. But we all know that some orgasms are prolonged, mind-blowing excursions into ecstasy and others are quiet, brief, and simply pleasant. There is certainly nothing wrong with a pleasant orgasm. But there is so much more to be enjoyed when orgasm is the inevitable next step in an already orgasmic process, not the winning goal at the end of a game.

According to the legendary sex researchers Masters and Johnson, there are four phases of human sexual response: excitement, plateau, orgasm, and resolution. Biologically, here is what happens in each:

The excitement phase can last anywhere from less than a minute to as long as several hours during which the clitoris, breasts, penis, and testes become engorged with blood. Heart rate and blood pressure increase. A mans penis becomes erect or partially erect and the testes elevate. In women, the clitoral shaft grows larger, the outer labia separate, and the inner labia enlarge, sometimes becoming darker in color. Women produce anywhere from a little to a lot of lubrication at this point.

Contrary to the usual use of the word, plateau is not a leveling-off phase. Its a phase during which everything that happens during the excitement phase continues, becoming more and more intense. Sexual tension continues to grow as orgasm approaches. Both men and women will usually make involuntary sounds.

Once sexual energy is in motion, you can use breath, touch, sound, and movement to build it and ride it like a wave.

There is so much more to be enjoyed when orgasm is the inevitable next step in an already orgasmic process, not the winning goal at the end of a game.

According to Masters and Johnson, orgasm is the shortest phase of the cycle, typically lasting only several seconds. Men usually experience orgasm and ejaculation simultaneously, but ejaculation does not always occur at the time of orgasm. Prior to ejaculation, seminal fluids must gather in the ejaculatory ducts and upper urethra, producing a feeling that orgasm is inevitable. Semen is expelled from the penis at the time of ejaculation. When a woman orgasms, the uterus and pelvic floor contract in rhythmic waves of muscular movement.