Relativity
by
Cristin Bishara
In memory of my father,
John Bishara
The truth may be puzzling. It may take some work to grapple with. It may be counterintuitive. It may contradict deeply held prejudices. It may not be consonant with what we desperately want to be true. But our preferences do not determine whats true.
Carl Sagan, American astronomer (19341996)
I hold up my phone and snap a photo of the windowless cafeteria, then close-ups of the gory details: paper wedged underneath uneven table legs, yellowed ceiling panels sagging with water damage, deep gouges scarring the linoleum floor.
I thumb the words Rescue me and hit send.
Mr. Burton, the guidance counselor, emerges from the mens room, wiping his damp hands on his pants, leaving dark streaks across the khaki fabric. I tuck my phone into my back pocket and manage a smile.
Okay, he says. Where were we?
You were just explaining the themed lunches, I offer, since Im the only one here, the only new student enduring orientation. And why would that be? Perhaps because youd need an IQ of 40 to move to this total nowhere, to think Ennis, Ohio, is a great place to call home. Seriously. Theres a McDonalds, a library that screams 1970, a bunch of half-vacant strip malls.
Hiking trails? Nope.
Movie theater? Two towns north.
Rapid transit system to a thriving metropolis? Yeah, right.
Look, Im not saying Dads IQ is deficient. Hes not stupid. But he is stupid-in-love, and thats what fueled the moving vans.
Right. Themed lunches. Mr. Burton seems to have this habit of rubbing the top of his bald head. Its like he keeps checking for hair. On Mexican Day they set up a taco bar. Italian Day is spaghetti and meatballs.
Authentic ethnic cuisine, right? I swallow the sarcasm and try to sound sincere. Really, I do, because its not Mr. Burtons fault Im here, and he seems genuinely excited about the food. I like tacos, I say.
He nods and motions for me to follow him. We have a variety of extracurriculars, he says as we walk, counting them off on his stubby fingers. Soccer, drama, cheerleading.
He glances at me when he says cheerleading, like hes embarrassed he mentioned it. Yeah, I dont exactly fit the bill, with my super-short hair and black-rimmed glasses.
Crafts? Mr. Burton points to a fluorescent-yellow poster pinned to a bulletin board. LEARN TO QUILT AND SEW. Hes already shaking his head; he knows my answer is a serious negative.
No thank you, I manage.
Mr. Burton continues to tick off extracurriculars, and hes running out of fingers. Fast-pitch softball is a big deal here. Some kids are trying to start an organic gardening club. I dont know what you were accustomed to doing in California.
What about a science club, or math?
Sorry, Ruby. Mr. Burton rubs his head. You could try to start one.
Try?
Yes, try. If you can find enough interest. He opens a thick metal door, and we walk outside, across the parking lot, stepping over disintegrating curbs.
New goalposts, and a fresh coat of paint on the stadium. Mr. Burton spreads his arms, introducing the Home of the Bears. The football field reminds me of Hyperion.
What? he asks.
I didnt realize I was talking out loud. Hyperion. One of Saturns moons. Its totally pockmarked by craters, kind of like the football field.
I see.
Never mind, I say. Its nice. I mean, its you know.
My phone vibrates in my back pocket, and I fight the urge to check it. Its probably George, his response to the cafeteria photos and my plea to be rescued.
Well, Mr. Burton says, forcing a smile. That about does it. He looks at his watch, then me.
Im sorry. I know hes picked up on my sour mood. Its just that its pretty different here. For me, anyway. Ill get used to it.
Mr. Burton nods. Youll adjust.
Theres my dad now. I point to our black Jeep pulling into the parking lot, going too fast. Dad dodges a pothole and swerves around a pile of broken glass before stopping.
Howd it go? Fine? Dad leans out the window, his two-day beard uneven, his eyes rimmed with red. I climb in the passenger side and pull my door closed.
Ruby will find her place, Mr. Burton says, shaking Dads hand.
I slide my phone out of my pocket and unlock the screen. Yep. Its a text from George. Rescuer at your service. Attached is a picture of a kid, front teeth missing, flexing his little biceps in a Superman costume.
I quickly type, Is that u? and hit send.
Mr. Burton is still talking to Dad. Im available if there are questions or problems.
There wont be any problems, Dad says, smiling. Shes got Kandinsky to show her the ropes. Kandy.
Right. My stepsister. Who, according to Dad, will soon be my new best friend. So far, shes been outstanding at ignoring me. If she bothers to make eye contact, its only for the sake of driving home an insult. Such as: Ruby, those glasses make you look so smart? Anytime you want to borrow my clothes um, dont?
Mr. Burton shifts nervously. He rubs the top of his head. Nope, still no hair. Mr. Wright, he says. I dont want you to take this the wrong way, since Kandy is now family and all. But shes made a few visits to the principals office for fighting.
Arguing? Dad asks.
Fist fighting.
Oh.
Mr. Burton lets that hang in the air for a minute. Getting back to Ruby here, he says. I need to mention that tattoos are against the dress code. Shell have to cover hers.
My hand goes to the nape of my neck.
I didnt get a good look, Mr. Burton says, squinting into the Jeep. What does it say?
Its an equation. The Einstein tensor. I turn my head to show him.
Its not gang related?
Dad lets out an exaggerated laugh, then adds a horselike snort. Of course not. Its just a math equation. Ruby likes that kind of stuff.
The Einstein tensor is used to calculate the curvature of a Riemannian manifold, I say before I can stop myself.
Mr. Burtons face is blank.
Sorry, I say. I mean, its not just a math equation. Its used for describing space-time.
Dad tries to help. Its geometry.
You could tutor other kids. Mr. Burton smiles, seeming relieved he finally thought of something I could do outside of class. He pats the roof of the Jeep. Okay, then. See you Monday, Ruby. He waves goodbye and heads for a dented pickup truck.
My phone vibrates, and Georges response appears. Yep. Thats me. 6 yrs old.
Luv it, I write back.
What I want to write is Luv *u* and send myself as an attachment. Id whiz across the continent bit by bit, byte by byte. Ruby particles flying through the atmosphere, a jumble of my deconstructed self. Hed open his messages, and Id buzz out of his phone, reassembling, downloading 60 percent 70 percent Within secondswith GeorgeId be perfectly whole again.
I cross my arms over my chest, which feels heavy, full of loss. Ive left so much behind, thirty-five highway hours away. Honestly, Dad. How do you expect me to like this place?
He puts the Jeep in drive, navigating around the shards of glass, the pothole. Give it a chance.
Thats Dads new line. Give Willow a chance, give Kandy a chance, give Ohio a chance. We just moved last week. He just got married last month. Give it a chance.
The library is the size of a bathroom stall, I say. The chem lab is totally outdated.
What can I do to cheer you up?
Move us back to California? I give him a winning smile, and he laughs.
How about ice cream?
No thanks. Im not five years old.
With all this pouting, you sound like it. Dad stops at a red light, one of the few traffic signals in Ennis. He rubs his temples. I did some hunting around on the Internet. The Cleveland Museum of Natural History looks promising. Want to go tomorrow?