Marion Croslydon - Fast Forward

Cassie

Youre going to show those rock-gods how we jam in Kansas.

I tore my gaze away from the entrance of The Blast Room, where Shawn and his agent waited. I shifted my body sideways toward Josh, bringing a squeak from the leather truck seat.

If my stomach were Irish, itd be dancing a jig right now.

Champ, I dont jam. And these guysI pointed at the dark door of the bardont jam either. What music did you Ivy-Leaguers listen to anyway? My mouth curled into a smile for the first time that morning. The knots torturing my guts loosened. A tiny bit.

Nothing Im going to admit to now He shrugged and smiled back. But it doesnt matter because whatever cool I retained in school, getting into politics is gonna kill it.

When have you ever been cool, MacBride? I gave him a slap on the chest. But thanks, I get the idea. Im still fighting to keep my breakfast down though.

Josh had on a well-worn pair of jeans and the same washed-out T-shirt Id given him for his seventeenth birthday. It was a bit too tight for him now because he wasnt a boy anymore, but I still loved seeing him in it. His short hair was the same mess as itd been when he got out of bed earlier that morning. No more preppy Oxford snob.

His hand rested on the nape of my neck. Soon his fingers were lost in the mass of my hair. Hair Id wasted a silly amount of time arranging into a rock-friendly look. At least I hoped it looked that way. Any more of Joshs massaging and Id end up a Dolly-Parton lookalike.

But I didnt mind. Not really. I only cared for Josh and the fact that he was back in my life... for good.

I leaned forward and rested my hand on his thigh. His leg muscles tightened and I enjoyed the effect I had on him. I kissed his cheek. Faint stubble tickled my lips. He turned, our foreheads touched, and he twitched his nose against mine in what I secretly called our kiss without a kiss. Yeah, when it came to Josh MacBride, I could turn into a total cheese ball.

Its going to be alright, Cass.

I straightened up and nodded. His hand slid along my neck and down my shoulders. One last squeeze and he broke his touch. You should go.

I should definitely go. The meeting was at ten and it was now five past.

This is only a trial run, I said. Theyll probably hate my music.

For the first time ever, I saw Josh roll his eyes. Damn, if you keep putting yourself down, Im going to strangle that sweet little neck of yours. His fingertips brushed my cheekbone. And you might totally suck anyway.

I forced the air out of my lungs, and then inhaled deeply. Okay. Lets do this.

Ill be waiting for you, Cass. Always. The warmth in his eyes told me he was telling the truth.

I got out of the truck and began to miss Josh instantly, but I forced myself to cross Broadway. The first thing that struck me when I entered The Blast Room was the staleness of the air. It was that familiar, decaying smell of music venues when no one was playing and no one was listening. Soulless.

My fingers tightened around the handle of my guitar case. It weighed more with each step I took down the stairwell leading to the bar.

At last!

I recognized Shawns husky voice before I saw him. Shawn was the lead singer of The Libs. Id met him in Oxford a few weeks back when they performed at The Turf, where I briefly bartended before my lifeand Joshstwisted into unknown territories. Shawn was Sams friend from The Big Easy and Sam was well, who was Sam to me? A friend who had gone the extra mile? If you could even consider a marriage offer to get my child back an extra mile.

Shawns arms around my shoulders chased the memory away. He dropped a kiss a little too close to the corner of my mouth and I stiffened. The guy was the affectionate type. He was also the smoker type. Judging by the red rims of his eyes, hed already smoked half of the prairie in Kansas.

He dragged me toward his agent, an older guy with streaks of grey in his hair, who gave me a once-over. Not in a sleazy way though, but a cool, professional appraisal.

Shawn climbed onto a bar stool next to his agent. Thats Will. Ive told him so much about you that hes about to throw up.

Ugh! I gave Will a fragile smile and glued my gaze on the tips of my boots. Shawn was doing me a huge favor but I was definitely more into under-promise and over-deliver than bold self-confidence.

Wanna drink? Shawn nodded towards the shelves behind the bar lined with Makers Mark, Gordons and Captain Morgan. Just the thought of alcohol so early brought an acrid taste to my mouth.

Im good, thanks, I mumbled. Did all musicians get wasted at ten in the morning? Maybe I wasnt cut out for the rock scene.

Lets get on with it, Cassie. Will was all business. I knew, without a doubt, this would be my first shot at the big league and maybe my last.

Ill help you set up. Terryll be here soon. Shawn got back on his feet and I followed him to the small stage. It was littered with flyers from previous shows. Terry was the tour manager and hed be deciding if I could fill in for the next weeks. Will was there to see if I had any star power and, maybe, sign me sometime down the line.

Shawn adjusted the microphone to my height while I got out my guitar, threw the strap around my neck and started strumming. I adjusted it to make sure it was tuned to perfection. The feeling of the chords underneath my fingertips woke a familiar, secret part of me. The part that didnt fear anything.

Shawn winked at me and walked off the stage, back to Wills side. Can you play that song about the boy? The one you sang back in Oxford?

My heart sank because it was painful to sing those lyrics. The words had come to me on a dark day when Id lost hope that Id have any part in my sons life. I looked around the room, at all its dark corners. The venue was empty, but bright lights were aimed at me. They burned my skin. The raw feeling of exposure lasted only a minute or two. I began to sing and I knew I was home.

Not long after, when I walked out of the venue, the bright rays of the sun made me wince. Joshs truckour truckwas still parked in the same place. Josh was leaning against the passenger door, his arms and ankles crossed. I checked the traffic and strode toward him.

They want me, I simply said.

Sparkles brightened his pecan-colored eyes and the familiar dimples appeared when he smiled. His hand circled my neck and he pulled me against him. I breathed in the lemony scent of his aftershave.

He snuggled in the hollow of my neck and said, Of course they do, baby.

But his smile didnt match his voice.

Josh

Of course, the fact that you only filed for divorce last June wont work in your favor.

Sawyer Curtis had suddenly veered from his usual dull tone to one with an unfamiliar accusatory edge. I tilted forward on my seat. The small body of our newly-appointed attorney hid further behind his desk. I was studying in Georgetown, then Oxford, and Cassie had to care for her grandmother. But were now back together, Mr. Curtis. Thats what should matter.

Curtis stared at me over his dark-rimmed glasses. The man reminded me of a wet and pitiful owl with his dull hair around his flat, round face. His appearance didnt match his reputation, though; and certainly didnt match the small fortune I was paying him. A fortune Id reluctantly borrowed from my mom.