Russell Snyder - The Lighter Side of Finland. The Worlds Funniest and Most Entertaining Finnish Guidebook: Culture, People,...

Finland is 1,160 km long, 540 km wide and has a total area of 338,135 square kilometers, making it one of the largest countries in Europe. There are 5.4 million residents, so there is plenty of room. However, it seems most of the people prefer to live very close each other, and then not say "Hello."

There are approximately 198,439 lakes but I'm not sure how many ponds are counted as lakes. After a rain, I sometimes consider the puddle in our courtyard a lake. 70% of the country is forested, yet Christmas trees are expensive. 10% is covered with water, although after the ice melts in spring that figure might be more like 50%.

There are 100,000 islands off the coast of Finland (Europe's largest archipelago), each one a real paradise, except for the poisonous snakes, the disease carrying ticks and the man-eating flies.

Republic with democratic parliamentary elections every four years. The MP's speeches may be boring to listen to while in session - nevertheless, they make up for it by getting into interesting and entertaining scandals which Finns love to read about in the evening papers.

President, elected for a term of six years. The president's power has been greatly reduced in the last years, however, he still gets VIP treatment wherever he goes...no waiting in queues, polite reporters, and service with a smile.

A coalition. The party with the largest share of votes gets the prime minister position. The other minister positions are given out by the percentage of votes and the best argument.

Finnish 93%, Swedish 6%, Sami speakers 1720, and a large number of people who don't speak to strangers.

The official religions are Lutheran (over 70%), Orthodox (under 2%). Various other Christian religions, as well as Muslims, Jews, Hindus and every other major religion are represented here. Furthermore, Atheists and Agnostics make up significant numbers in Finland. Then again, 10% believe the world owes them a living, 50 % believe their neighbors are cheating on income tax, and 55% believe the Finnish makkara (sausage) is a blessing.

Rather unpredictable, so you should be prepared for sun, rain, hail, sleet, fog, snow, heavy winds, and mini tornados...and that's just the summer.

World class and always at the top in global comparisons. Although I know plenty of PhDs who lack common sense. There are over 1000 public libraries in Finland, however, it would be nice if they were open when people were not working.

The crime rate is low and Finland is considered a safe country for both men and women. So don't take the yellow press too seriously, or you'd be afraid to go outdoors.

This custom is not expected in Finland but for truly outstanding service, you may want to leave a bit extra in a restaurant, or round off the taxi fare. And if you really get outstanding service, let people know about this happy occasion.

Swedish-speaking Finns make up around 6% of the population. There are 4500 Samis and 6000 Romanies and a rapidly growing amount of foreign residents. Other minorities include Finns who don't like saunas, men who love chatting about nothing for hours, women who have enough shoes, people who adore November, and teenagers who think their parents are cool.