Sheri Winston - Succulent SexCraft: Your Hands-On Guide to Erotic Play and Practice

ABOUT THE CENTER FOR THE INTIMATE ARTS

The mission of Sheri Winstons Center for the Intimate Arts is to provide empowering, enlightening, entertaining erotic education for everyone!

We envision a world where sex is understood, honored and free from shame, where our bodies ecstatic potential is explored and celebrated, and relationships are based on integrity, compassion and love.

Our products and services include:

In-person and online classes, workshops and presentations for lay people and professionals.

Individual and couples coaching and counseling (in-person and via phone/skype).

Books in digital and hard-copy format, which we publish via our imprint, Mango Garden Press. For more information, visit MANGOGARDENPRESS.COM.

Articles, written blogs and video vlogs by Sheri Winston and Carl Frankel. These can be found on our website as well in articles by Carl Frankel at YourTango.com.

For more information or to sign up for our newsletter, please visit us at INTIMATEARTSCENTER.COM.

2014 Sheri Winston / Mango Garden Press

Cover and Interior Design: Tilman Reitzle
ISBN 978-0-9898138-0-8
Library of Congress #: 2013948687

Mango Garden Press
PO Box 3184
Kingston, NY 12402
www.MangoGardenPress.com

Printed on Forest Stewardship Council-certified, 30% post-consumer recycled paper.

CONTENTS

SECTION ONE

Old Stories, New Stories

There is only one way to see things, until someone shows us how to look at them with different eyes.

PABLO PICASSO

Franz von Bayros, Book Plate

CHAPTER ONE

WELCOME TO EROTIC U.

Sex is the engine, the driven inner workings of all that shines and breathes.

LOUISE ERDRICH

A Journey Into Conscious Sexuality

D EAR READER, I HAVE TWO VERY IMPORTANT QUESTIONS FOR YOU: Do you feel great about sex? Is it all you wish it to be? If either answer is no, then this book is for you. If both answers are yes, this book is for you, too.

Maybe youre reading this book because youd like to be more sexually responsive, share more pleasure with your lover, make your solo sex hotter or rekindle the excitement in your intimate relationship.

Perhaps you already have pretty great sex, but want it to be fabulous. Maybe its already fabulous, but you want it to be transcendent. Possibly youre already an erotic virtuoso, in which case youre here because you know theres always more to learn.

Maybe you have sexual challenges. There may be sex-negative voices resounding in your head with their nos and shoulds and cants. Perhaps youve had life experiences that caused you to enfold your sexuality behind armor or numbness. You may have spent much of your life feeling sexually inadequate, broken or damaged. Perchance youve decided its time to change that and find your path to wholeness, joy and ecstatic pleasure.

Over the years, two things have become clear to me: Were on a lifelong learning journey, and our sexuality is a vital part of our lives and all life. I know from both personal and professional experience that we all have enormous sexual potential, although for many it remains untapped. For most people, their sexuality is like a huge pleasure trove that has never been fully explored. Yet its right there inside us!

Since 1999, Ive been teaching people how to transform their sexuality into a reliable wellspring of energy and ecstasy. Im here to help you connect to your wonderful sexy self and to facilitate your erotic empowerment and integration.

WORD NERD: SEX

THE ROOT OF THE WORD SEX actually means to divide or cut apart, from the Latin sexus or secus. It comes from the ancient idea that gods and people were originally androgynous and had to be separated into unisexual beings. Thus sex is about the desire to reconnect and end that separation.

I do these things, and more, through The Center for the Intimate Arts, which I founded and where I teach what we lightheartedly call sex ed for grown-ups. Our classes and workshops are drawn from our extensive (and, like the universe, constantly expanding) Wholistic Sexuality curriculum.

Why Wholistic Sexuality? Because:

The approach integrates modern science, ancient wisdom traditions, contemporary holistic perspectives, biology, sociology, anthropology, zoology, anatomy, physiology, evolutionary theory, philosophy and spirituality.

It encompasses the complex and elegant connections of your mind, body, emotions, spirit and energy.

It includes the connections between you and your own self, other people, the communities you participate in, and the wide and juicy world.

William Blake, The Reunion of the Soul and the Body

My lifes purpose is to be an agent of transformation and empowerment, especially in the area of sexuality. Thats why I developed the Wholistic Sexuality paradigm and based it on conscious connection and an integral view of sexuality.

I envision a world where sex is viewed as normal and sacred, pleasure is celebrated, and intimate connection is honored and supported. My mission is to help catalyze a personal, cultural and planetary attitude adjustment so that sexuality is seen as a revered and glorious aspect of being human. This is my spiritual path, my joy and my work.

Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.

ALBERT EINSTEIN

Philosophically, this book is ambitious. It lays out a vision of sexual potential, a paradigm of authentic connection, and a pathway to erotic empowerment through an integrated web of ideas and images. But its also very practical. Its a hands-on handbook with multiple maps and models and a heaping helping of games and practices. Its your guide to leading a life thats rich with pleasure, erotic fulfillment and sexual wholeness. I hope youre as excited as I am to go on this learning journey.

What On Earth Is A Wholistic Sexuality Teacher?
And Why Might You Want One?

When I tell people Im a Wholistic Sexuality teacher, they typically respond in one of four ways. Some are keenly interested and ask all sorts of questions. (All sorts!) Others act like they didnt hear me and instantly change the subject. (Eek, sex!) A third group says something along the lines of, I dont need any help. I dont have any sexual problems. Or, I already know what Im doing. And some respond dismissively with comments like, Thats silly, sex is natural, why would anyone need to take a class about that?

If people are curious and interested, great! Lets talk. If people dont want to converse about sex, I cant make them, nor would I want to. But I do have answers for the latter two groups. First, Wholistic Sexuality isnt only for people with sexual problems. Its for anyone who aspires to more connection, intimacy and ecstasy.

As for the people who believe that sex is just something you do, no instruction required, what they dont understand is that weve been learning about sex our whole lives. From how your genitals were handled during diaper changes to your first back-seat fumbles, from adolescent jokes to TV sitcoms, from textbooks to the plethora of pornyouve been learning about sex your whole life. Youve absorbed innumerable lessons about your body, pleasure, relationships, power dynamics, what is and isnt okay to talk about, suitable language, gender roles, whats sexually appropriate, whats hot and not, and much more. Your teachers have been your families of origin, schools (and playgrounds), places of worship, peers and our ubiquitous entertainment and advertising culture. This is your real sex ed and its immensely powerful. You dont choose to take this class; it just happens. Much of our sexuality education has been unconscious and, for the most part, unquestioned.