Jes Baker - Things No One Will Tell Fat Girls: A Handbook for Unapologetic Living

things no one will tell fat girls

Things No One Will Tell Fat Girls

Copyright 2015 Jes M. Baker

Seal Press

A Member of the Perseus Books Group

1700 Fourth Street

Berkeley, California

sealpress.com

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any manner whatsoever without written permission from the Publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embedded in critical articles and reviews, and certain other noncommercial uses permitted by copyright law.

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Baker, Jes.

Things no one will tell fat girls / by Jes Baker.

pages cm

ISBN 978-1-58005-583-3

1. Overweight women--Psychological aspects. 2. Body image in women. 3. Self-esteem in women. 4. Self-care, Health. I. Title.

RC628.B28 2015

613.04244--dc23

2015019704

10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

Cover design by Faceout Studios, Kara Davison

Interior design by Domini Dragoone

Printed in the United States of America

Distributed by Publishers Group West

For all the fat girls

who have no idea that

they are absolutely perfect

contents

I was really hoping that by the end of the writing process, my editor would have suggested some really clever way to open this book since Im at a complete loss as to how to do this myself. But alas, no cigar. So youre stuck with me, and this is what I came up with: Hey there! Im Jes Baker and if youve heard of me, Im really glad youre here. And if you havent heard of me? Thats cool, too. Given that you just picked up a book with the words fat and unapologetic (two of my favorites), theres a good chance that this could be the start of a beautiful new friendship.

Yep. Thats all I got.

After that informationless opening you might be wondering if this book is for you, and I want to save you time, so lemme break it down for ya: if you are a person who has spent your entire life feeling horrible about your body and you think that self-hatred kinda sucks, this book is for you. If youre interested in this totally bizarre concept called body love that you keep hearing about on Upworthy and BuzzFeed and you wanna know what its all about, this book is for you. If youre intimidated by academic texts but still want to have a conversation about body acceptance, this book is for you. If you feel the need to hold something that says youre a valuable person (just as you are, right now) and reading websites just doesnt cut it, this book is for you. If you need a refresher course on why loving your body is not only possible, but critical, this book is for you. If youre a fat chick (who might be scared of that word) and youre convinced that your body is bad and holding you back from living an amazing life, this book is for you. If youre looking for a book that might offend your sensitivities at some point and has more italicized and capitalized words than you know what to do with... this book is SO for you.

If you are a person with a body who is tired of being shamed and told to shape up, slim down, camouflage, alter against your will, or make apologies for your body... THIS BOOK IS FOR YOU.

If youre still here, welcome. Ive got a lot of important shit to share with you. But first, a few things about me, because weve established that were about to become friends, after all.

Things you can find if you Google me:

I write a blog called The Militant Baker, and its about body image, feminism, fatshion, and mental health.

I wore badass saddle shoes when I was six.

I did a really famous photo campaign and challenged Abercrombie & Fitchs CEO to do a shirtless photo shoot with a fat chick. (Yep, I did that. He never responded, but he expressed that he was sorry he said rude things about fat girls, and to now make up for it the company will take your money if you want them to. See for more dirty details.)

I have three cats and I love them more than almost anything.

I swear. A LOT.

I founded a conference once, for body love discussions to happen IRL (in real life).

Im fat.

Things that actually matter here and now:

Im fat.

No really, thats the most important thing.

Yes, I am also intelligent, snarky, kind, radical, compassionate, self-starting, outgoing, funny, opinionated, cheerful, loud, and a million other things. But here and now, I want to talk about the thing that strangers see first, the thing that Im judged on the most. The reason Im here writing this book right now: Im pretty damn fat.

I know what youre thinking. But Jes, dont call yourself fat! Youre just chubby. Fluffy. Curvy. Chunky. Plus-size. (Insert additional euphemisms here.)

Naw girl, Im Fat.

Heres why I use the f-word ALL THE TIME: the word fat is not inherently bad. Its an adjective. Its a benign descriptor of size. As Marianne Kirby explains, Fat means adipose tissue. Fat means having a lot of adipose tissue. There are no other words that mean precisely those things in precisely those ways. Saying Im fat is (and should be) the same as saying my shoes are black, the clouds are fluffy, and Bob Saget is tall. Its not good, its not bad, it just is. The only negativity that this word carries is that which has been socially constructed around it; our aversion is completely learned. Its our association that is disparaging, and this is what we must change. We dont need to stop using the word fat, we need to stop the hatred that our world connects with the word fat. So I use it (oftenyoull read it over 370 times in this book), because I have decided that its my word now. And the more I use it positively, the more stigma I smash.

Now, I dont ever walk up to strangers and say Hey Fatty! Because, we havent found a way to normalize it in the mainstream, there is a really good chance that the word is still offensive to them. But me calling myself fat? Aint no thang. I even find the word empowering. Someone tries to insult me by calling me fat? I just say, Yep. And?