Kiley Ariel - Smitten: The Way of the Brilliant Flirt Kindle Edition

Text copyright 2013 by Ariel Kiley and Simone Kornfeld.

Cover art 2013 by Paige Smith.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form without written permission from the publisher.

eISBN 978-1-4521-2444-5

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data:

Kiley, Ariel.

Smitten : the way of the brilliant flirt / by Ariel Kiley and Simone Kornfeld.

p. cm.

ISBN 978-1-4521-1675-4

1. Flirting. 2. Man-woman relationships. 3. Dating (Social customs) I. Kornfeld, Simone. II. Title.

HQ801.K52 2013

306.73dc23

Designed by Hillary Caudle

Cover design by Jennifer Tolo Pierce

Composited by Cody Gates, Happenstance Type-O-Rama

Chronicle Books LLC

680 Second Street

San Francisco, California 94107

www.chroniclebooks.com

We are deeply grateful to the following people for their support in the creation and publication of Smitten .

To Brianne Johnson and Michelle Rubin of Writers House. To Lisa Tauber, Lorena Jones, Claire Fletcher, Doug Ogan, Jennifer Tolo Pierce, Debra DeFord-Minerva, and Leigh Haber of Chronicle Books. To William Clark, Alex Griessmann, Paige Smith, Will Stewart, and Dylan Gary. To our fathers: Poppy, Dudley, and Steve. To our grandmothers: Annie, Alice, Nona Bianca, and Patricia. To the colorful array of men weve had the great pleasure of flirting with over the years. And to the coven: Ride or die, witches.

Flirting, as a concept, doesnt always get the credit it deserves. It tends to bring to mind Betty Boops furiously fluttering eyelashes and submissive squeaks or the cunning captain of the cheerleading squad who mysteriously brainwashed the guy you were going steady with all summer. We often think of flirtation as a cheap trick used to satisfy feeble self-esteem and wicked intentions. These misconceptions, unfortunately, tend to make us tentative and ineffective flirts, which spoils our potential to attract the men we desire. But becoming an amazing flirt is not about using tawdry tricks and sly traps to get what we want, nor is it about having abnormally plump lips or the ripest rear in the room. Being a great flirt is a natural byproduct of being a confident, engaged, unique woman who cant help but let her true self shine, causing the whole world to become enraptured by her unencumbered spirit.

Many of us have never really mastered effective flirtation, so we often find ourselves chickening out before even giving it a shot. Which might look something like this: Youre at a midsummer bluegrass fest waiting in line for the Porta-Potty when the scruffy guy behind you flashes an inviting smile. You are immediately drawn to his country charm, but youre also flooded with uncertainty about how to respond, which causes you to dart into the stall, lock the door, and then exit sheepishly, avoiding his eyes on the way out. Then you waste the rest of the night mourning the missed opportunity. On the other hand, sometimes we are so overwhelmed by the pressure that we unwittingly sabotage our chances, which might look like this: You are out with your girlfriends at the new Italian trattoria and youve been making eyes at the dangerously handsome owner all evening. Toward the end of the meal, he makes his way over and asks if youd like to try a taste of his special reserve grappa. You happily accept, but when he pulls up a chair, youre suddenly so tongue-tied that you only manage to utter a few lame niceties, and the conversation dwindles into awkward silence. Before you know it hes corked up his grappa and risen from the table, and youre left kicking yourself for having ruined your Romanesque romance forever.

Even if we make it past those first few rocky moments and find ourselves in conversation with an attractive gentleman, our attempts at flirtation are often lame. This is because we repress our true impulses, squelch our honest expression, and dont allow our inner light to shinewhich happens every time we refrain from busting out the lyrics to our favorite pop song for fear hell think were too weird. Or every time we are so preoccupied with how our skin looks in the light or how our dress fits over our hips that we dont allow ourselves the freedom to actually be present during the interaction. It happens every time we restrict ourselves to the typical conversation topics for fear hell be turned off if we discuss the details of our latest summer solstice sance. Basically, its every time we shrink into an agreeable ball of mush for fear our honest self will scare him off.

In the world of Smitten , brilliant flirtation is an artthe art of openly expressing our truest selves and causing a man to fall head over heels with us at first flirt. By learning the Smitten way, you will gain the confidence to let your own unique inner light shine so you are able to render any man thoroughly enthralled during the first encounter or first date. You heard us rightthere is no need to cut off your kookiness or plug up your squeaky singing voice. No need to look like a svelte Eastern European giantess or only be seen under the flattering glow of low-wattage bulbs. You are going to learn how to be so free during the first encounter or first date with an appealing gentleman that you will not even consider the possibility that you could say the wrong thing or somehow not measure uplet alone fall prey to the desperation and anxiety that are the hallmarks of flirtation disasters.

Undeniable and indestructible, your sparkling inner light is your strongest asset in the game of love. However, most of us are not acquainted with this inner light or dont quite trust in its appeal. The journey through Smitten will move you into a process of self-realization so you can gain confidence in who you truly are and finally take hold of this most powerful asset. Your emblazoned authenticity is the force that will allow any variation of male to become wholly beguiled with your exquisitely true, wildly rapturous self.

Smitten is not the ordinary Play the Game Right and Prince Charming Will Come Save You kind of book. It is a book for ladies whod rather not settle for a life stifled by mediocrity and dysfunction. You will not be asked to compromise yourself or manipulate men. There will be no lessons on arbitrarily canceling dates, hanging up the phone before he does, or demanding a marriage proposal after a year of dating. Those rules of attraction are petty, contrived, inauthentic, and downright mean. Frankly, it doesnt turn us on to approach a relationship as if it were a combat zone. In the Smitten philosophy, brilliant flirtation is about baring your true essence, rather than sharing frilly fabrications. Its expressing your genuine self instead of engaging in invented ideals. Its having the awareness, courage, and confidence to stay rooted in your authenticity under any romantic circumstance.

In order for you to become the blissfully enlightened man magnet you were born to be, the journey through Smitten is divided into two distinct parts. Part One: Unveiling Your Luminescence is designed to help you get in touch with your sizzling inner light by jump-starting your process of self-realization. With your luminescence on high, you will be fully prepared to take on Part Two: The Way of the Brilliant Flirt. In this section, we present the eight flirtation techniques that will tap into your authenticity and allow you to attract all the men you could ever desire.