Harris O’Malley - When It Clicks

Harris O'Malley

Other Books By Harris OMalley

New Game + : A Geeks Guide to Love, Sex and Dating

Simplified Dating: The Ultimate Guide To Getting Better at Dating Quickly!

Copyright 2016 Harris O'Malley

All rights reserved

No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means, including information storage and retrieval systems, without written permission from the author, except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.

Cover illustrated by Carla Speed McNeil and Jenn Manley

ISBN: 978-0-9963772-3-2

To the Paging Dr. NerdLove readers: I cant do it without you guys. And to the WEFugees, the V-Hives and the Sk8Jesuits. We run Bartertown!

I love online dating.

No lie. Online dating is, in many ways, an answer to so many of the problems that people have when it comes to meeting new and amazing potential partners. Youre able to set your parameters as wide or as narrow as you want. Want to make sure youre dating someone with the same religious background? You can filter out everyone who doesnt meet that particular criteria. Looking for that 6 tall, blonde PhD candidate/opera singer of your dreams? Dial it in, man and see whos out there.

Moreover, its the most relaxed, low-stress way of meeting incredible women. If youre an introvert, then you dont have to go to loud, crowded bars and scream to be heard. Youre able to approach, meet and flirt with women from the comfort and security of your own home. If you get anxious approaching strangers in person, then online dating allows you to relax and take things at your own pace. You have all the time in the world to figure out what you want to say and how you want to say it, instead of getting tongue-tied trying to think about what to say.

You can fit it into your schedule, whether youre a morning person or a night-owl; you can literally meet women in your pajamas at any time of day. You cant do that in person.

Well, without getting some weird looks, anyway.

(And how she managed to get into your pajamas in the first place, Ill never know.)

But as fun and easy as online dating can be, it can still be incredibly frustrating and confusing. Many, many people have put up their profile and sent out those pokes, winks and messages only to get thunderous silence in return. They swipe right but never get anyone who matches with them. Women who seem interested will disappear without warning, while others simply flake out every time you try to make a date with them.

But thats where I come in. This guide is designed to show you the ropes and teach you how to make meeting women through online dating simple, easy and fun. Whether youre looking for a casual hook-up, a friend with benefits situation or the love of your life, this is the instruction manual youve been looking for all this time. Ill walk you through the keys to creating the dating profile that gets attention and how to make sure that the right women - the women you want to meet - stop and check you out. Youll learn the secret to dating profile photos that catch peoples eyes and show you off to the best effect. Youll learn how to craft the perfect introductory message that will stand out from all the spammy, repulsive messages that frustrate women; yours will stand out from the churn and invite women to write back. Ill help you avoid the most common mistakes that men make when it comes to online dating and understand the reasons why women arent responding. Youll learn the warning signs of fakes and flakes and be able to avoid them before you waste your valuable time. And Ill even guide you through taking the conversation from online to in person.

Therere no head games, no magic tricks, no Pick-Up Artist inspired bullshit that only serves to annoy women. Theres no gaming the system or trickery here. Youre going to be learning how to use dating sites correctly, in the most intelligent, efficient and optimized manner. You wont be putting up a false front or pretending to be something youre not. This isnt snake-oil, this is about learning how to put your best, most attractive, most authentic self forward and finding the people who are right for you.

Whether youre looking for a casual hook-up on Tinder or the long-term relationship of your dreams on OKCupid, Plenty of Fish or other sites, this book is going to help you navigate the world of online dating and find the match youre looking for.

CHOOSING YOUR DATING SITE

Which Dating Site Is Right For You?

T HE FIRST - AND seemingly most obvious - step when it comes to getting started in online dating is to pick which dating site or sites you are going to use. This is actually fairly significant; if you want to make online dating as efficient and trouble-free as possible, you dont want to spread your presence and attention too thin. The more profiles you have to monitor and maintain, the more time youre going to spend performing that maintenance. It doesnt seem like much of an investment - a little time on one site, a little more on another - but it adds up quickly. Worse, it makes it hard to keep track of whos on which site; if youre trying to find that one profile that caught your eye and have to log into three or four different accounts to try to find them again, youre going to get frustrated pretty damn quickly. Its better to keep your focus narrow, with accounts on one or two sites at a time.

Moreover, not all dating sites are created equal. Different sites have different cultures and demographics, which will directly affect who will show up in your searches and how those people will respond to you . Before you invest your time and money, you want to do your due diligence with dating sites.

First and foremost: consider what youre looking for. Certain sites cater more to particular types of relationships. eHarmony, for example, is specifically for people looking for long-term relationships; if youre looking to date a number of people casually, you should look elsewhere. It also has a very rigid structure and specific rules for communicating with your matches, which can make things tedious if youre looking to talk to more than one match at a time. OKCupid, on the other hand, is much more free-wheeling; their membership ranges from people simply looking for platonic friends to casual sex partners to relationships. Match is more relationship-based while apps like Tinder and Grindr are intended as hook-up tools.

This isnt to say that you cant find something that isnt necessarily part of the dominant culture - people can and do end up in committed relationships with people they met off Tinder, for example - but its going to be akin to swimming uphill. Its possible, but youre going to be expending a lot more energy doing so.

Secondly: consider who youre searching for. Some sites focus on a very specific audience. Christian Mingle and JDate cater to a user base that prefers to date fellow Christians or Jews; this is great if religion and culture is important to you. Other sites are simply less open to certain demographics. eHarmony famously doesnt allow for same-sex pairings, for example, and is surprisingly picky about who it does service; many of my friends were told that the site couldnt match them to