Harris O’Malley - I Got Her Number Now What ?

I Got Her Number...Now What?

A Geeks Guide to Texting, Snapchatting, and Sliding Into DMs

Harris OMalley

Other Books By Harris OMalley

Its Dangerous To Go Alone: A Relationship Survival Handbook

New Game + : A Geeks Guide to Love, Sex and Dating

When It Clicks: The Guide To Mastering Online Dating

Simplified Dating: The Ultimate Guide To Getting Better at Dating Quickly!

Copyright 2018 by Harris OMalley

All rights reserved

No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means, including information storage and retrieval systems, without written permission from the author, except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.

Book Layout & Cover Design: Tracy Lay / digivisualdesign.com

ISBN: 978-0-9963772-7-0

To the NerdLovers out there. I couldnt do this without you all.

Contents

Foreword

Getting someones number is one of the most time-honored traditions in dating. Getting that napkin with her number scrawled on it or having her enter her digits into your phone is almost like unlocking an achievement or coming home with a trophy. Sure, you could try to contact her the old-fashioned way by stalking her social media until you find the right account but thats the mark of a loser. Getting her number is a sign of your dating prowess, the moment that separates the men from the boys and the desirable from the downtrodden whore going home alone. You and you alone have been chosen because you were smarter, funnier, more clever, or just plain more appealing than other folks who wanted to get with her.

How do you like them apples?

Of course, in this day and age, the Internet has become ubiquitous in our lives. Social media, instant messaging and Voice-Over-IP calling have given us an almost infinite number of ways of connecting with people.

The problem is that, well, we now have an almost infinite number of ways of connecting with people.

We are connected to virtually everyone in the world through watches and phones and tablets and we mostly use them to watch TV, stalk celebrities and argue with strangers about which superhero movies are the best.

But even in this age of constant connection, getting that invitation to talk with someone is still an incredibly intimate moment. Youre being asked to step away from the crowd, to talk where its just the two of you. In a real way, it feels as though youre moving up to the next level.

But then what? Where do you go from there? We are so used to communicating amongst virtual crowds that we almost get lost when its just us. We have no real guidance, no codified system of best practices. Say what you will about the overly florid ways of writing letters to your intimates during the Victorian era, at least they had some rules to follow. As intimidating as calling someone might be, at least we all had some basic guidelines about when to call; after all, we hashed out that whole three day bullshit rule when Swingers was still fresh. But while weve moved on since then, the rules havent kept up with the advances of time.

In a real way, its still the Wild West out there, with different apps having entirely different cultures and social mores. As a result, there are a lot of conflicting ideas and a host of really bad practices that can snatch defeat from the jaws of victory and drive you insane in the process. How do you respond when youve sent that DM but the only response you get is the dreaded ? Or worse, a read notice, followed by deafening silence.

While texting and messaging is an incredibly powerful tool for flirting, building a connection, and getting dates, trying to navigate it can feel like a sink-or-swim situation and someone just tossed you an anchor.

But thats where I come in. As a dating coach and someone whos been on more dates than hes had hot meals Ive lived through almost about every scenario in the book and Ive been there to watch how dating has changed first hand. And while the medium may have changed, people havent. Whether youre meeting somebody at a bar, trying to connect at a party, moving the conversation off of a dating app or simply trying to start a conversation over social media, getting somebodys number is about the search for a simple, human connection. Everything else is a distraction.

Once you understand this, everything else becomes clear. This is why women seem so much more fluent in text mediums; they understand the rules and structure that comes with texting because they are used to connection and conversation. Men spend too much time focused on the goal, and not enough on how to get there. As a result, they treat texting like the proverbial bull in the china shop, thrashing around because they dont know how they got there, how to maneuver or get out, all while causing huge mess in the process.

But the good news is: you can learn. And understanding the structure of communicating through text is like having a super power that most other guys will never have. Before were through, you will learn:

a How to get her number

a How to get her attention (and keep it) when so many other men lose it

a How to maintain interest, and even build some intrigue and attraction

a How to stand out from a sea of other men who are begging for her time

a And how to turn those numbers into dates and relationships.

So take a deep breath, limber up your thumbs, and lets dive in.

Which is, in itself, the modern-day equivalent of calling every number with her last name in the phone-book and hoping you get lucky

Talking With Our Thumbs, Like God Intended

NERDLOVE DATING STRATEGY GUIDE

a

Why do we text?

Back in the dark ages, if you wanted to talk to someone especially if you wanted to get a date you had only one option: you had to call them on the phone. This, for generations, was an anxiety-producing nightmare, a punishment inflicted upon the terminally shy and awkward. The tension and stress that can come with calling someone on the phone someone youre attracted to, but dont have much of a social connection with can be almost unbearable.

Worse, talking over the phone gave you no time to think. You were put on the spot and now you had to put up or shut up in the moment. If you had a brain-fart and couldnt think about what to say well, now theres that awkward silence until one of you drawls out the dreaded Sooooo

If the gods of dating were merciful and you got their voice mail, then you had to communicate your intent in under a minute and try to not sound like an idiot in the process. The anxiety of leaving a message is one that continues today, something we see reflected back to us in Swingers , Singles , Community , Hes Just Not That Into You and more. You have to fight to resist the urge to delete the message and start over provided that you dont just call back to try to explain the previous embarrassing message you just left.

Enter the miracle of the Short Message System. Sending text messages via cell phones had long been part of mobile networks, but the service came at a cost. Texting was expensive, particularly in the United States, where it was considered a premium service. Cellular providers would charge per text, or sell packages of so many texts per month. But as social adoption of SMS grew alongside competition from Instant Messaging services unlimited texting became part of the standard cellular service package. The number of text messages being sent grew by literal billions between 2003 and 2008. Texting became a central part of how we communicate with others.