Lisette Schuitemaker - 19 Feb

CHILDLESS LIVING

In Childless Living, Lisette Schuitemaker creatively takes readers through the seasons of the lives of those who have no children by choice or circumstance and offers worthy insights for fulfilling life journeys that dont include parenthood. It will inspire rumination and reflection, no matter what season of life youre in!

LAURA CARROLL, author of Families of Two and The Baby Matrix

As most of her work, this latest offering of Lisette Schuitemaker is an affront to conventional thinking. She offers a radical reformulation of what is described, in many cultures, as a curse, as lacking, or a barrenness. She challenges definitions of women as guarantors of reproductivity and as responsible for the continuation of the tribe at the expense of choice. Instead, courageously, she hugely expands our understanding of generativity as a choiceful and joyful embracing of what circumstance or biology seemingly imposes upon all women. Highly recommended.

BERND LEYGRAF, consultant, psychotherapist, and founder and director of Naos Institute

Thank you, Lisette Schuitemaker, for the fascinating research in Childless Living that provides social and cultural context for decisions I made in my 20s not to have children. Its like reading the story no one has ever asked me to tell about my childless selfthrough the four seasons of my life. I am so reassured by the final metaphor of ending life as Open Space. It delights and inspires me for being true to the choices I have made.

MARILYN HAMILTON, PhD, CPA(ret), founder of Integral City Meshworks and author of the Integral City book series

I was literally there when the seed of Childless Living was germinated and witnessed the tingle of its upsurge of intention and creativity begin to flow. This is what this wonderful book, I feel, is about. To show us that whether or not we give biological birth to children, if we live our lives with purpose we give birth in many other waysto creative ventures and in a wide range of roles, including as caregivers, custodians, nurturers, encouragers, inspirers, role models, and even soul models.

JUDE CURRIVAN, PhD, cosmologist, futurist, and author of The Cosmic Hologram

Whether as aunts and uncles leading a childfull life with nieces and nephews or by living a fulfilling life despite how we imagined it, Lisette Schuitemakers Childless Living is an ode to discovering and celebrating the joy of life no matter the choices, circumstances, and challenges we face when our desire for parenthood is in questionand questioned by others.

MELANIE NOTKIN, author of Savvy Auntie: The Ultimate Guide for Cool Aunts, Great-Aunts, Godmothers and All Women Who Love Kids

This book provides new insights into the choices and circumstances of the childless and childfree as we navigate through the seasons of life. More importantly, it paves the way for much-needed conversations on how we are challenging and negotiating a straightjacketed normative world, just by being ourselves. As a single woman, viewing my own life choices and experiences in the larger frame of childless living, this book gives me greater confidence, courage, and conviction in my own life journey ... knowing that there is a larger solidarity despite our seemingly solitary journeys.

NIRUPAMA SARATHY, development sector professional working with young people

This unique seasonal approach to living a childless life reveals insight into aspects of choice-making entwined with life conditions accompanied by a spectrum of personal and societal implications often uncomfortable to voice and examine publicly. Personally, I was reaffirmed knowing that I was not as much of a renegade as I had been thinking. Generally, Lisette Schuitemaker opens a portal for a societal inquiry: How are childless lives enriched through diverse expressions of pro-creativity, and how might those unique individual chosen expressions be comparably enriching to societal and human potentials?

MICHAEL KELLER, designer for transformative learning and human becoming

Lisette Schuitemakers best book yet! Childless Living brings sunshine and fresh air to this often dank and stifled topic. With flowing vibrancy, her light touch, and thorough inquiry, the author brings new possibility to the tender path of living childless. Read it and be nourished, be inspired, and experience that life is richer than you thought. Thank you for this precious gift, for childless women and men and all of us.

ADELE NAPIER, consultant, educator, soul counsellor, and childless

Childless Living is a beautifully crafted and wisely written book addressing an ever-growing section of our society, which has traditionally been looked down upon as lacking. As the real-life examples based on rigorous research by the author show, life is not less for not having had children. I wish this book had been around when I was needing some clear guidance that I was not weird for feeling ambivalent about having children. It would have saved me many hours of therapy!

JANE DUNCAN ROGERS, author of Before I Go: The Essential Guide to Creating a Good End of Life Plan and founder of Before I Go Solutions

This book by Lisette Schuitemaker is a reaffirmation of the fact that there are those willing to carve out a life of their own and that it is completely fine to do so, just like it is completely fine to want to go through the usual set patterns. It is a ray of hope for those souls who may not be joined by nations but by beliefsthe most basic of which is free will that allows you to make decisions for yourself. It is also a great reminder of the fact that individuals make choices depending on their circumstances.

ALVEENA JADOON, editorial assistant at The Nation and content producer at Maati TV

Introduction

W e, people without children, are in the news these days. Articles are published regularly on millennials who profess their certainty of not going on to copy the life of their parents. Journalists comment on the remarkable number of political leaders in Europe who have no children of their own. Essays are written on how far people are willing to go in order to fulfil their wish to have children and where we as a society would, could, or should draw the line. Scientists, politicians, and the media alike make comments on how many we, the childless and the childfree, actually are.

Like a ship that appears out of the mist we emerge, and suddenly, we prove to be a flotilla of vessels of all kinds. Our fleet consists of motorboats of marvellous young people who want a familysure, one day, but not right now; someday in an unspecified later, when we are ready. For the time being, as young adults, we wish to enjoy our flexibility, to discover ourselves and our potential. We want to continue to be able to close the door and be off for a weekend, a few weeks, or a year. We can hardly imagine what will make us give up this delicious freedom one day. Hormones, we imagine. The pressure of family or friends, perhaps. Or the heart becoming curious about the child that could come into existence out of our love.

In our midst, we have sturdy tugboats of those of us who have consciously decided to spread our love wider than predominantly amongst offspring of our own. These mariners generally work full time, and are happy to fill in for colleagues apologetically rushing out, because the childcare centre is about to close or exhausted grandparents need to be relieved from duty. When it is generally assumed that we will be the ones to remain and finish the task at hand, a sense of resentment may start to build within us. Arguing that our free time is as valuable as that of colleagues who chose to have children will not go down well, we know; nor will any suggestion that we too should be eligible for a sabbatical or the childless persons equivalent of maternity and paternity leave.