Ellen L. Walker - Complete Without Kids: An Insiders Guide to Childfree Living by Choice or by Chance
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- Book:Complete Without Kids: An Insiders Guide to Childfree Living by Choice or by Chance
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Complete Without Kids: An Insiders Guide to Childfree Living by Choice or by Chance: summary, description and annotation
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In Complete Without Kids, Licensed Clinical Psychologist Ellen L. Walker examines the often-ignored question of what it means to be childfree, by choice or by circumstance, in a family-focused society. Recognizing that there is no one childfree adult, the author guides the reader through the positive and negative aspects of childfree living, taking into consideration the different issues faced by men or women, couples or singles, whether gay or straight.
As a woman who is childfree by choice, Walker draws upon her personal experience while also offering the reader numerous interviews with other childfree adults, revealing behind-the-scenes factors that influenced their personal journeys. She approaches the tough-decision making process of whether or not to have children from a biological, historical, and societal perspective, offering valuable information on:
- Methods to cope with the pressure to have children from media, family, and friends in a healthy way
- How to create balance and approach the leisure time allowed by a childfree lifestyle
- Financial, health, and personal benefits associated with childfree living
Offering support, guidance, and thought-provoking questions, Complete Without Kids is a productive guide for any reader considering the childfree path.
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This book is intended as a reference volume only, not as a therapeutic manual. The information given here is designed to help you make informed decisions. It is not intended as a substitute for any treatment that may have been recommended by a mental health care professional.
Published by Greenleaf Book Group Press
Austin, Texas
www.gbgpress.com
Copyright 2011 Ellen Walker
All rights reserved.
No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without written permission from the publisher.
Distributed by Greenleaf Book Group LLC
For ordering information or special discounts for bulk purchases, please contact
Greenleaf Book Group LLC at PO Box 91869, Austin, TX 78709, 512.891.6100.
Design and composition by Greenleaf Book Group LLC and Alex Head
Cover design by Greenleaf Book Group LLC and Dan Pitts
Publisher's Cataloging-In-Publication Data
(Prepared by The Donohue Group, Inc.)
Walker, Ellen L. (Ellen Lind), 1960
Complete without kids : an insider's guide to childfree living by choice or by chance / Ellen L. Walker. 2nd ed.
p. ; cm.
First edition published as: I don't have kids : the guide to childfree living / Ellen Walker, c2010.
Includes bibliographical references.
ISBN: 978-1-60832-103-2
1. ChildlessnessPsychological aspects. 2. ChildlessnessSocial aspects. I. Title.
II. I don't have kids
HQ755.8 .W35 2011
306.87 2010932566
Part of the Tree Neutral program, which offsets the number of trees consumed in the production and printing of this book by taking proactive steps, such as planting trees in direct proportion to the number of trees used: www.treeneutral.com
First edition published 2010 by Ellen Walker
Printed in the United States of America on acid-free paper
10 11 12 13 14 15 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1
Having reviewed Dr. Walker's book, I'm very excited for the childfree community. Her expertise, research, and personal experience shine through. Her book will be a necessary read for anyone exploring the childfree/childless topic, whether out of curiosity or personal choices regarding such an important decision. I hope more young people will explore the idea of becoming childfree, in addition to examining their own reasons for wanting to become a parent. Complete Without Kids provides a timely look into the reasons individuals become either childfree or childless. Insightful, well-researched, and compassionate.
Cara Swann, author and freelance writer
Like becoming a parent, childfree living is an option best left to each individual to decide. Dr. Walker's guide is a wonderful tool, whether you are childfree by choice, circumstance, or happenstance, to help you understand you are not alone. You will see yourself in this book.
Linda McCarthy, executive director, Mt. Baker Planned Parenthood
Helpful, supportive, and thought-provoking are terms I would use to describe Complete Without Kids. I recommend it to those who are considering or who have embarked upon a childfree life for whatever reasons. Dr. Walker's own story and those of the people she interviewed lets childfree people know that they are in good company.
Dr. Karen M. Aronoff, PsyD, clinical psychologist
As a young adult entering a phase in my life when questions and pressures regarding future choices are plentiful, I found that Dr. Walker's book provides a much needed exploration of childfree living. By incorporating real-life accounts with psychological insight, Dr. Walker sheds an important awareness on a population of families that are often overlooked because they do not have children. While transitioning into adulthood during a time of constant global economic and environmental concern, it is critical that upcoming generations are empowered with a sense of responsibility and choice, which is one of the many ways that Dr. Walker's book is a success.
Anna Wolff, psychology student, Western Washington University
I do not want kids! I do want mega money, vast vacations, freedom, and of course, a copy of this book. It takes a very special person not to make babies unlike [most people who] only thereafter realize the lifelong ramifications and responsibilities.
Christopher M. Puzzele, Esq., creator of IDoNOTWantKids.com
C omplete Without Kids: An Insider's Guide to Childfree Living by Choice or by Chance is a project that began over two years ago in the pages of my personal journal. As I talked with others about the idea, I received much encouragement, simply because of the uniqueness of the topic and the slim choice of books available for adults who are childfree or those contemplating whether to have kids. It was not until November 2008, however, that I took a daylong writing course and shared with a small group of fellow dreamers that I wanted to write this book.
What followed was a chance meeting with a woman who introduced me to her editor and writing coach, Brooke Warner. Brooke walked me through every step, helping me learn a whole new style of writing, quite the opposite of the psychological reports that I craft every day in my clinical practice. The process has, of course, been energizing but also frustrating. I am very thankful to Brooke for her patience and ongoing support over the past year.
I am also grateful to the women, men, and couples who came forward to participate in my interviews. I appreciate your honesty and willingness to share your most personal stories with me. Conducting those interviews and reading the written responses from participants was truly the most delightful part of this entire process.
I would not have been able to complete the book without the ongoing support of my husband, Chris Portman. Chris listened to hours of brainstorming and encouraged me to write rather than play on weekend mornings. He has also supported me in taking time away from my day job to complete the project.
I am appreciative, as always, of my parents, Marjorie and George Walker, who believe in me and have stuck by me from day one.
I thought the whole baby thing was behind me, but just when I least expected it, babylust hit me. It was the summer of 2006, and I'd just moved into a small apartment with my new husband Chris. Chris is a psychologist, like me, a decade older than me, and the first father I'd ever had a relationship with. When we got together, I was forty-five years old and feeling at peace with the idea that I would not have children. I had created a rich and busy life for myself with my clinical psychology practice, my dog Bella, and lots of friends and activities. Because Chris's children were grown and on their own, I never gave a second thought to the possibility that observing him interact with them would cause me grief. So it came as a big surprise the first time I heard Chris on the telephone say, I love you, son, and I felt a sudden sharp pain in my heart. The ache only intensified when we talked more about his children and he shared that being a dad was one of the most fulfilling parts of his life. I began to feel a huge sadness in the realization that no one would ever call me Mom and that I'd never say, I love you, son to a child of my own. For the first time, I began to question my decision not to have children, and I wondered if I'd made a huge mistake. I knew that at age forty-five, it was not too late, but I'd need to act quickly if I wanted to try to get pregnant.
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