Contents
Guide
What Do
I Do If ...?
How to
Get Out of
Real-Life
Worst-Case
Scenarios
ERIC GRZYMKOWSKI
AVON, MASSACHUSETTS
Contents
Introduction
Everyone knows that playing dead is the best way to deter a charging grizzly bear, and the only surefire way to dispatch a zombie is a well-placed katana swipe to the head. But do you know what to do when normal, everyday disasters strike?
- How should you handle dropping your fancy smartphone in the toilet?
- Who should you call if a tree falls on your roof?
- What do you do if you have a lingering houseguest?
When the unexpected happens, most people are as poorly equipped to handle food poisoning as they are quicksandpossibly less sountil now.
Fortunately, What Do I Do If... ? is here to help you solve the far more common, but no less devastating, of lifes little curve balls. So whether youre dealing with a tire blowout at 65 mph that makes you suddenly realize, I have absolutely no idea what Im supposed to do here, smaller things like losing your ring down the drain, or more serious disasters like being robbed at gunpoint, What Do I Do If... ? has you covered.
CHAPTER 1
Matters of Life and Death
You dont have to go climb Mount Everest or jump out of an airplane at 30,000 feet in order to face deadly situations. Of the fifteen leading causes of death in the United States, accidents come in at number five, just behind lower respiratory disease.
While you could just stay at home in the fetal positionalthough theres no guarantee that approach would keep you safethe far better strategy is to know how to handle yourself, should the unexpected happen.
Ive Been Kidnapped
Likelihood of Happening: Low
Ease of Prevention: Moderate
Is Time a Factor? Yes
The idea of a windowless van screeching to a halt and a team of masked assailants pushing you inside may seem absurd, but that doesnt mean it couldnt happen. Although rare, abductions can occur with the hope of ransom, due to cases of mistaken identity, sexual assault, or for no discernible reason at all. But hopefully you wont stick around long enough to find out what your kidnappers have in store for you.
Remain Calm and Analytical
Whether youve been kidnapped from your home in the middle of the night or you happened to be the closest person to a bank robber when the police showed up, its very likely you are scared, nervous, and pumped full of adrenaline. However, if you want to make it out alive, you are going to have to calm down and regain your composure.
Relax your breathing and focus your attention on the details of your surroundings and the situation at hand. Take mental notes of important information like the physical descriptions of your attackers, your current location, any nearby objects you can use to subdue the kidnappers, or anything else you feel might help you escape or apprehend the kidnappers later.
If you are being taken to another location, try to create a mental map of the route you are traveling so you can ascertain approximately where you wind up.
The Worlds Longest Abduction
On August 4, 1987, a woman dressed as a nurse abducted then nineteen-day-old Carlina Renae White from a New York City hospital, and raised her as Nejdra Nance for twenty-three years. Carlina eventually grew suspicious of her abductor when she was unable to produce important documentation like a birth certificate or social security card. She uncovered the truth by searching missing children databases and discovering photos of herself as an infant.
Stay Put or Flee?
Whether you comply with your kidnappers or try to make a break for it will depend heavily on why youve been abducted. If you believe your captors intend to ransom you, then you probably shouldnt risk an escape attempt. Even if your family cant afford to pay the ransom, the police may be able to work with them to pull together the necessary funds for a sting operation. If thats the case, your primary goal will be to comply with any request your captors make and do your best to remain calm throughout the ordeal. Remind yourself that, at least for the moment, your life and relative safety are very valuable to the kidnappers. If, however, you feel your captors intend to kill you once they are done with you, then you will almost certainly want to make every effort to get away.
While you attempt to discover the circumstances of your kidnapping, do your best to remain relaxed and civil with your captors. If you are able to establish a connection with one or more of the kidnappers, they may be less likely to harm you later.
Wait for the Opportune Moment
If you have little reason to believe that your abductors have any intention of setting you free, you will have to make it out on your own.
To plan your escape, pay attention to any patterns that might form (especially when your captors come and go), and see if there are any failures in their methods of keeping an eye on you. If you are bound, determine all the different circumstances under which they will remove your bindings, such as to eat, use the bathroom, or at specific times of the day to move around. Analyze your captors for possible weak points. Perhaps one guard is prone to slack off while hes on watch, and has a habit of nodding off during his shift. If one of your captors is particularly sympathetic to you, its possible you will be able to use that to your advantage and request an unscheduled bathroom break while the others are busy.
While you plan, get to know the layout of the area in which you are being held as much as possible. Are you on the bottom floor or the top floor? Are there windows that might be unlocked or easily broken? If you do find yourself unbound and unwatched for even a moment, your knowledge of the nearest exits could mean the difference between a successful escape and an unsuccessful one.
Be particularly wary of any changes to their behavior that may indicate they are planning to kill you. For example, if they stop attempting to conceal their identities or if they become particularly violent or indifferent toward you, you should get ready to act.
Once you feel the time is right, put your plan into action and be prepared to modify your strategy as circumstances change.
Im Having a Heart Attack
Likelihood of Happening: Moderate
Ease of Prevention: Moderate
Is Time a Factor? Yes
When youre in good health, you probably pay very little attention to the gentle beating of your heart. Which is a good thing, since your heart beats more than 100,000 times a day and youd never get anything done otherwise. But you might change your attitude if you realize that the next heartbeat could very well be your last.
Know the Signs
When characters in movies suffer a heart attack, they invariably clutch their chest before silently keeling over. While sharp chest pain is usually the first sign people recognize when they are experiencing a heart attack, there are several more subtle indicators: