Steve Biddulph - 20 Apr

Contents

For forty years Ive worked with parents in talks and workshops, and it is so satisfying, and so much fun, that I wished I could share it with every parent in the world. So I set about thinking how to do so in a book.

What you hold in your hands is the result. You can read it straight through, like any other book, but if you wish to go further on every few pages there are opportunities to respond. These are very simple a self-evaluation quiz, or an idea to give a quick rating to. These instant-response items take you deeper into awareness of how to better help your girl.

As this is an ebook and you cant write on your screen just use a small notebook and give your ratings or answers there. It works just as well. Or if you want a printed record, you can also download the questionnaires at www.stevebiddulph.co.uk/resources. You can print these out and fill them in. They are incredibly useful to discuss with your partner, or sometimes your child as well.

We have field-tested these questions and found that parents love the sudden flashes of insight they can bring. You will find yourself seeing your family more clearly, and, from this, you will become more the parent your daughter needs you to be.

So, please give it a try and see.

One more thing it sometimes happens that the questions can bring tears, or other strong emotions. Be gentle with yourself, and know that all of us parents feel this way sometimes. We send our love to you and our admiration for being willing to grow and learn.

Sincerely,

You can also use this book as a discussion guide with your friends. Taking one chapter at a time, you can create your own ongoing support group to help you care for all your daughters together. Thats how girls were meant to be raised by a tribe.

THE BATTLE TO SET GIRLS FREE

You remember that moment, dont you? Holding your baby daughter in your arms for the very first time. Her eyes wide open, gazing back into yours. Feeling so protective, so proud, so happy. A daughter!

Throughout the last hundred years, things have got better for girls. People fought hard for our daughters to have more equality and opportunity and to be less pushed into narrow boxes of what a girl, or woman, could be. But about ten years ago its hard to say just when all this started to change. Girls who had flown up in the sunshine of a century of feminism started to go into a nosedive.

Everyone has noticed this not just psychologists and counsellors, but parents themselves. They say, Fourteen is the new eighteen, or Theyre growing up too fast. Or they just roll their eyes and say, Girls!

As I am writing this, the Department for Education is reporting that a third of all teenage girls in the UK suffer from depression or anxiety. They are calling it an important and significant trend. The NHS says the same; they report that 20 per cent of girls are self-harming three times as many as ten years ago. Not only that; 13 per cent of girls have symptoms of post-traumatic stress something we associate with serious trauma or harm. Eating disorders, body-hate, having unhappy and unwanted sex: all are on the increase. Its not all girls, but its enough of them to worry about.

We know the causes of this change in girlhood. Its partly the explosion of social media and the amount of time we spend on screens, but also the pressured and competitive way we live today. The disappearance of spending time with older, wiser, kinder people in the real world, as well as time in nature, being playful in a relaxed, dreamy way that is best for growing young brains.

We know what is needed to help a girl grow up strong and free, and its not what television, the internet, magazines or billboards are telling her. Its also not testing in primary school. Nor it is looks, being hot, being cool, pleasing boys or fitting in to tidy models of corporate success (unless thats really what she wants!).

So here, from the front line of working with girls and their parents, are the ten things that girls need most. This book works by building self-awareness, clarity and purpose. By enlivening your own parenting instincts. By giving you the best information, then letting YOU choose what to do for YOUR girl, and her friends, and your nieces, granddaughters or students.

Its a mighty kit bag of tools for liberating your girl. You might even free yourself along the way. After all, we could all do with some liberation.