Tom The Blowfish Hird - Blowfishs Oceanopedia: 291 Extraordinary Things You Didnt Know About the Sea

Blowfishs
Oceanopedia

Published in hardback in Great Britain in 2017 by Atlantic Books,
an imprint of Atlantic Books Ltd.

Copyright Tom Hird, 2017

The moral right of Tom Hird to be identified as the author of this work has been asserted by him in accordance with the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act of 1988.

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without the prior permission of both the copyright owner and the above publisher of this book.

Image copyright Shutterstock, pages .

Image copyright Wikimedia Commons, page .

Image copyright Roger Hall, page .

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A CIP catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library.

Hardback ISBN: 978 1 78649 2 401
E-book ISBN: 978 1 78649 2 418

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Printed in Great Britain.

Atlantic Books
An imprint of Atlantic Books Ltd
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W elcome to my Oceanopedia! A wonderfully made-up name for a book about a wonderfully real world. First, Id just like to say thanks to all of you who have spent your hard-earned cash on this book: I love you all. To those of you who have received this book as a gift or stocking filler... tough break. Be happy, at least, that it is heavy enough to be used to smite annoying insects, throw at door-to-door salesmen, or just prop up that wobbly table leg.

I wrote this book because I wanted to give you a glimpse into what the oceans have hidden deep within them. I have been fascinated by the seas for so long now I cant really remember when my passion for poisson began. What I do know, though, is that I learn something new every day and its not just the ordinary stuff we can often guess about terrestrial creatures, since a lot of them are, basically, pretty much like us. The stuff Im talking about is truly unique, guaranteed to blow your mind.

My hope is that after reading this book you will love the oceans a little bit more and may start to realize that, even though you might not be wet right now (unless youre reading this in the bath), the oceans and their health are the key to our own long-term survival. Dont worry, this isnt some kind of radical tome on Mother Ocean and how you need to start eating seaweed soup. But it should make you think twice next time a fish finger shows up on your plate.

Some of you may already have noticed that this isnt your standard book on wildlife or the environment. The chapters and nuggets of info are not meant to be a boring reference guide to getting a degree in marine biology, but rather a rough guide to the science that you can use to improve your own knowledge, impress your friends, and bore people at dinner parties.

But who is this handsome, bearded fellow who has so painstakingly written this impressive volume? Well, its me. Tom The Blowfish Hird. A proud Yorkshire lad with more body hair that the average Wookiee. Growing up, I always loved nature and cant remember a time in my life when I havent had some sort of animal around me. This is thanks to my mum and dad, who are also keen animal-lovers though my mum now seems to be obsessed with collecting wire-haired dachshunds, while my dad has a bizarre penchant for various sizes of rubber and metal washers. Either way, my early days were spent travelling with my dad, who is a vet, to see horses, cows and other critters up and down the moors of West Yorkshire. At home, my mum would show me how to care for small animals, taking note of their different ways, meeting their daily needs, and thereby ensuring their long-term happiness within our family.

It goes without saying, then, that I wanted to emulate my parents and follow my dad into the veterinary profession. Sadly for me, I am not blessed with his prodigious intellect (although I am a damn sight better-looking), and after a trip through a famous aquarium at the age of twelve, decided to become a marine biologist. Perhaps this was fated, as I had already developed a terrible fear of sharks due to a particularly well-known film. So scared was I of being eaten by a massive shark that I wouldnt hang my feet over the bed when sleeping, just in case! Yet, as is the way with most childhood fears, I became obsessed with sharks and just couldnt read enough about them. Soon, I knew more about sharks as a thirteen-year-old than most people would ever learn in their whole lives, and one thing I knew for certain was that they needed our help.

Sharks have been persecuted to a truly apocalyptic extent. These incredible creatures are in decline worldwide thanks to a barrage of human influences, none of which show any immediate sign of stopping. I have dedicated my life to changing the way people think about sharks, and the oceans, in the hope that when I finally dance my last tango, there will be a few more sharks swimming around than there were when I came screaming into the world.

So what about The Blowfish then? Well, originally I was going to follow the righteous path of academia, getting a Masters, PhD and more... writing papers which would change minds and laws, and defend my beloved sharks and rays. But in 2005, after taking part in a trip to the Adriatic to chum for sharks, and seeing precisely none over a two-week period, I realized I needed to make a more immediate impact. So I decided to use my voice to speak to you, the public, the people with the money who make the decisions at the grass-roots level. If we can change our ways when it comes to the fish we buy, the products we use and the waste we make, we can change the planet without the need for laws or politics. So it was time to stand up and give a voice to the creatures of the blue! However, Tom Hird didnt exactly have the right ring to it, so I settled on a nickname I had received from the surf club at my university and The Blowfish was born.

So, this is from The Blowfish, the worlds only heavy metal marine biologist (patent pending) to you, the awesome people of planet Earth! Enjoy this book, read it, share it, gift it, learn from it. But please, even if you only like one small section, think about what you can do to make a change and ensure this world remains a shining blue jewel for all the generations of little blowfishes to come.

There are too many people to properly thank for helping towards the completion of this book. Without a doubt, big thanks to Ben for his guidance and graft, to Mark for dealing with my biological terms, and to Andrew for sorting out the devil in the details. Thanks to Atlantic Books for giving me some paper to print the whole thing on and giving me a chance to tell my tales to the world at large. My huge and constant thank-yous to my mum and dad, who have supported me through all this TV and media madness with kind words, beers and roast dinners. And a special thank-you to Nick, who has kept me sane during these long months.