Blevin - How To Massage Your Lover: Create greater intimacy and deeper bonds with your Spouse, Lover, or Partner with the loving touch of massage.
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How To Massage Your Lover
Create greater intimacy and deeper bonds with your Spouse, Lover, or Partner with the loving touch of massage.
By Kandace Blevin, Licensed Massage Therapist
As a licensed massage therapist, I can tell you that I encounter nothing but love and support when I mention what I do for a living. Massage therapists hold a special place in the world. We bring healing touch to our clients and help improve the quality of life for many.
Over the years that I was in private practice, I formed many close relationships with clients over our weekly and monthly sessions. I was privy to their secrets, fears, health concerns, and their improvements and setbacks. Even though we are ethically bound to maintain a practitioner / client boundary, it is hard not to care deeply for the wellbeing of those with whom you interact regularly.
I can think of no greater gift to offer to your loved one, than the gift of unconditional love in the form of massage. You are granting the person in your life, your absolute attention and care, while forging deeper intimacy and trust between you.
As a massage therapist, it is incredibly intoxicating to see the appreciation that is showered upon you after you have helped a client with pain relief. Knowing that you are responsible for the deep relaxation that your client is enjoying is especially gratifying. Wouldnt you love to receive the same appreciation from the person you love most?
In the following chapters, I will discuss everything from the basic supplies you will need, how to set the scene, how to massage for an hour without hurting your hands and back, and how to massage different personalities and body types (believe it is not, there are people who dont like to be massaged). When you are finished, you will be able to give a massage to your partner and feel their joy and appreciation.
Any health or wellness suggestions are purely for informational purposes. I am a licensed massage therapist, not a doctor. Though Massage Therapy is generally considered very safe, there are some physical and emotional conditions that may need to be taken into consideration before conducting a massage. These will be listed below. If you have any questions or concerns before embarking on any new health regimen, it is highly recommended that you speak with your physician.
Before we get started, I want to state that I am a massage therapist who is licensed in the States of Florida and South Carolina in the United States of America. In most states, massage therapy is highly regulated. In no way is this book meant to teach you how to massage the general public or engage in commercial practice.
Massage therapists are required, depending upon the state, to receive between 500 to 1200 or more hours of training, both in class, and in hands on study. Once their program of study is complete, they are required to take a national exam. Upon successful completion of their exam, they must apply to the state for a license, undergo a background investigation, and submit their fingerprints. Licensed massage therapists are required to take continuing education courses, recertify every two years, and carry malpractice insurance.
One of the most important things that massage therapists learn, in addition to anatomy and physiology, is when a massage is inappropriate or even dangerous due to health considerations. Generally, massage therapy is considered completely safe and non-invasive, therefore it is fine for most people.
Below, I have listed some of the conditions that will potentially be of concern. This list is thorough, but in no way is it complete. If you or your partner is suffering from any of the following conditions, please seek medical advice before engaging in massage.
Fever Contagious diseases Taking drugs, alcohol, or pain medication Recent operations or acute injuries Neuritis Skin diseases or rashes Pregnancy - particularly in first and last trimester Varicose veins (blood clots) Uncontrolled blood sugar; Diabetes Osteoporosis Cancer; particularly if currently undergoing treatment Nervous or psychotic conditions | Viral Infections Cold or Flu Undiagnosed lumps or bumps Cuts, Abrasions and Bruising Sunburn Undiagnosed pain Inflammation, including arthritis Medical Contraindications Cardiovascular issues (High blood pressure, thrombosis, phlebitis, hypertension, heart conditions) Epilepsy |
There are various reasons why each of these conditions are listed, but the main point is that massage therapists want to protect your health and well-being.
If you feel as though you or your partner may be too physically compromised to engage in massage, please seek medical advice from your health practitioner.
Just how complicated can giving a massage be? What is more basic than rubbing some oil or lotion on your partner? Well, the truth is, it is simple, but many people tire quickly, hurt their hands, or do not know how to use enough pressure to actually do anything.
Before getting started, the absolute first thing you must do is get your mindset in the right place. I know this may sound strange, but your partner can feel what you are feeling. If you have ever heard the saying, never punish your child when you are angry, you may have some sense of what I am saying.
When I began massage school, our instructor had us engage in an experiment. He had one student lie face down on the massage table, while another student stood next to the table. He then wrote an emotion on the board, and the student who was standing was instructed to feel that emotion, then channel it into the student lying down. The student lying on the table then had to guess what the emotion was.
When I was the subject, the student laid her hands upon my back. I immediately felt something akin to cold, snapping energy. It was not painful, but it was a bit unpleasant. I guessed anger, and the emotion written down was HATE. The next time that she touched me, the sensation was warm and soft. It almost felt cozy. I discovered that the new emotion was LOVE.
The point of this exercise was to allow we future massage therapists to understand that what we are feeling will be felt, on some level, by our clients when we are massaging them. We learn to take a deep breath, and shield ourselves between sessions, and even to take a break if we were working with an emotionally difficult client. We endeavor to not carry the energies from ourselves or others into our next sessions.
As such, it is imperative that you have the right frame of mind before massaging your partner. If you are tired, angry, or just not feeling it, it will be apparent to them. Likewise, this can also be your opportunity to channel love, compassion, and sexual desire into your partner as well. The whole point of massaging your lover is to bring you closer together, so never touch them if your energy and emotions are not in the right place.
You are now mentally prepared to massage your partner, but the next question is where. I would presume that you do not have a massage table in your home, though if you do, that is wonderful! A standard massage table is roughly the size of the twin size bed. This size allows you to walk around your partner and easily access them from every angle. I am going to presume, though, that this will be something that you do on your somewhat larger bed.
From a massage therapists viewpoint, that is terrible, because the body mechanics are such that you will probably get tired, but for you, that will not be the same concern. If you can work on them while standing and being able to circle the bed and still reach them, that is ideal. If not, feel free to kneel on the bed with them. I will go into deeper detail later. Right now, you are simply figuring out the setting for your massage.
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