Bernice Tuffery - Sleep Easy

Every book finds its own way. I have deep gratitude for the early believers, who gave me the courage to propel the idea of a local DIY sleep manual from dream to reality. The briefest conversations helped allay reservations, instil confidence and build momentum. Rachel, from the local bookshop Dear Reader for her genuine exuberance when I first gave voice to wanting to write an insiders guide to sleep. The esteemed Dr Lee Mathias for letting me know that this work mattered. Michael Saccente, whose heart-warming anecdote put my imposter syndrome to bed. The entrepreneurial and ever-practical Hannah McQueen for telling me to just get a proposal on the page. Megan Nicol Reed for describing a sample paragraph as beautiful, and surreptitiously making a connection that ultimately led the project to the perfect publisher.

The team at Allen & Unwin have been an incredible, streamlined force to work with. From the very outset, I knew, this story and I were in exceptionally safe and capable hands. I give a heartfelt thanks to Michelle Hurley, publisher, for seeing the value in this book, for believing in me, and for encouraging me to stretch the geographical boundaries of this opportunity. My appreciation goes to Jenny Hellen, publishing director, for seeing the vision, knowing the timing was right and taking a punt on a rookie (who still cant touch-type). I give thanks to the competence and kindness of project editor Leonie Freeman, to publicity manager Abba Renshaw and to the whole team.

A special thanks goes out to our remote editor from the beautiful south, Claire Davis, for her insight, discretion and eternal good humour. The art of slashing and burning, while leaving an authors dignity and integrity intact, is nothing shy of remarkable. Thanks to Megan van Staden, for bringing this non-fiction book to life through inspired design. My gratitude is also with those invisible yet instrumental forces that are our proofreaders Mike Wagg and Matt Turner and to Carol Dawber for the indexing to ensure our sleep-deficient readers can easily find their way.

This book would not be of the calibre that it is without the incredible encouragement and expert advice I have received from the sleep community through its inception and development. My deep appreciation and respect go firstly to two outstanding professionals in the field. I thank Dr Tony Fernando, who so generously shared his learned wisdom, practical insights, and valuable networks with grace and equanimity throughout this entire journey from our first meeting as a patient, to his encouragement to aim higher in my requests for Sleep Easys endorsements. For Dr Moira Junge, there are barely words to capture the gratitude I have for her chapter-by-chapter involvement in this books creation. Taking on the project, when we had only met via Zoom amidst the first Covid lockdown, was an extraordinary act of faith that I remain humbled by. Her wealth of knowledge on sleep and extensive experience treating people suffering insomnia lifted the bar on the content and brought important subtleties and nuances to the language we used.

Other highly regarded practitioners I would like to thank for their involvement and support are: Dr Giselle Withers for the valued expertise she brought to the chapters and resources on mindfulness; Dr Anna Friis for her insight into the role of self-compassion in the sleep improvement journey and for so vividly bringing to life yang compassion; Dr Bronwyn Sweeney for her overview of the New Zealand sleep improvement landscape and review of specific sleep challenges; Daniel Ford for the unique experience he brings with his credentials in performance psychology and sleep; Dr Bruce Arroll for his research and insight on the interface between sleep improvement and general practice. My thanks also go to Dr Alex Bartle and Dr Karen Falloon for the insightful interviews and conversations we shared on the state of sleep issues and solutions currently available to the public.

Writing my first book, through these unprecedented times, has been both inspiring and challenging. I am blessed to be surrounded by colleagues, and friends who have championed the cause and fortified my resolve. Thanks for the verve and camaraderie of my petri-dish friends, Kim Tay, Sally Wyatt, Shannon Brown and Carol Ferguson, who nurture new ideas and endeavours. Special thanks to Kim for her energy and optimism, and teaching me that resilience is as much about bouncing forward as it is about bouncing back. Thanks to Selina Joe, Kathryn Thomas, Bridget Lowry, Elizabeth Brown, Bridget OToole, Jane Healy, Julie Clark, Lauren Gunn, Jac Wilson, and Cheri Inoue, who have all inspired and encouraged me in unique ways at pivotal moments on this journey.

For my family, I thank each of them for being who they are to me. My southern family, Mum, Dad, and my glorious and inspirational sisters Bronwyn and Megan, I thank them for believing in me and trusting this shift in my purpose. To my extended whnau in the north, south and the UK in all their iterations, including in-laws and outlaws; I appreciate their interest and encouragement in this endeavour.

I have tremendous gratitude for my husband, John, for leaning in on the home front and surrendering his share of the office for most of the year, creating space both literally and figuratively for me to pursue something beyond my day job, a goal that truly matters. Our daughter, Lily, has been the eternal believer in me and my book. Her thoughtful and well-timed words of kindness have spoken volumes along the way. I thank them both for their patience and understanding as I dedicated so much of myself to the research and writing of this book. I trust that it aligns with the values we hold as a family:

Be brave and true, and just do what needs to be done.

It has been a privilege to have this time to write and do something of value for others. I thank you, the reader, for recognising the value of your sleep and giving this book your time and your attention. I hope with all my heart that you are sleeping easier these days and that you feel inspired, like I did, to encourage others to do what they can to discover how to sleep easy.

Bernice Tuffery, 2021

Different life stages and lifestyles can interfere with sleep. The following specific sleep challenges could be exacerbating your sleep difficultiesits worth understanding why and what you can do to help.

Sleeping with a bed-partner

Snoring

Sleep during pregnancy

Sleep and menopause

Sleep and shift work

Sleep and ageing

Sharing a bed with your partner has pros and cons for sleep. The presence of another person can be warm, comforting and reassuring, which supports the bodys relaxation response and makes it easier for sleep to occur. But this all changes if theres tension in the relationship, its a hot night, someones a blanket hog, sleep schedules clash, or if one or both bedfellows experience sleep difficulties. Whether theres insomnia, snoring, restless legs or general fidgeting, fussing, mumbling or coughing, the behaviour of one partner can affect the sleep of the other.

Just as importantly, a sound sleeper can make matters worse for a person with insomnia. When youre awake in the night for extended periods, hearing your partner sleeping peacefully beside you can exacerbate feelings of frustration and loneliness. And elevated anxiety makes it more difficult to sleep.

When youre experiencing sleep problems, your wakefulness and restlessness can be annoying for your partner, but their insight into your sleep can help you figure out the problem. Ask if theyve noticed things like long pauses in your breathing, gasps for breath or heavy snoring. If they have, get the possibility of sleep apnoea checked out as soon as possible. Partners can also make observations about other sleep-disorder symptoms, like tooth-grinding, restless legs, sleep-talking and walking.